Chula, Mami, Preciosa, Mi Amor, Carino, Gata Mia, Amorsito

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lunaMaya

New member
May 17, 2005
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How I wish to hear these again :cry:

I came across this forum by googling Dominican Men. I recently got dumped with no explanation and since he was not going to share, I needed to do some research.

I initially searched the site on anything that dealt with relationships. I found that there are tons of males/females going for love among other things to the DR. Most of the men/females seemed really upset with the females in their own country.

Males: gold-diggas, alimony, child support, not sexually adventurous, would love a supermodel type, not attentive, not sweet, b*tchy...

Females: not supportive, don't listen, not passionate, not enough good loving, not attentive...

I was in a LT relationship, one were for the most part I always had it my way. And it seemed like my MrDr was letting me have my way as well, but eventually some of my not so nice qualities ruined the relationship, like my foul mouth and my emotional breakdowns because of work among other things.

I left work Laughing at some of the stories I read, other days emotionally drained because of the foul way some of the men talked about the ladies they met in the DR. One of my not so favorite sayings UBH, that's just wrong, in whatever country you might be in.

For the most part I gained tons of valuable information on dating. I'm more than happy to have found such a great Online Community.

I posted a thread with my experience, and it got locked, I was upset and retaliated. I'm the original chicaM. I would like to apologize to ANNA and Robert for my outburst. I do work in a gov agency that at times can be slow; you wait around for funds (you can't start working unless you have funds). I'm the only one in my team currently that is waiting for funds to be allocated to my project. I have to say that the people in my agency are extremely hard working, they spend long hours working on their projects, and they come in at 9 and sometimes don't leave till 11:30 at night. I did however put in my 2 weeks notice and I'm going to something that hopefully will be a little more challenging.

I read stories of peoples vacations, their pictures. Stories of love gone wrong, success stories, passion, deception. The one that shocked me was a girl who fell in love then moved to DR and got killed by her lover and his girl. Berzin's story about the young-looking girl he met and how he ended up visiting her family and how it became a memorable experience. Berzin?s a wonderful story teller. He stated that the next time he would bring things back for her son. Berzin along with others would talk about UBH's and I would always get an ill feeling (I know men like to talk tons of junk with other men, but it's tough for a female to hear them sometimes).

Getting deeper I learned about the culture, economic standing of the country, the children, government, Haiti and much more.

It seems without a doubt that everyone in this forum has fallen in love in some way with the country and/or its people.

I lost my MrDr but I gained so much from him. I learned to love salsa, merengue, bachata, to enjoy passion, romantic little sayings, enjoy my culture. After my LT finished I didn't think I would ever feel again. Luckily my MrDr led me to you xx. I plan on visiting DR in about 2 months. I will definitely do searches on where to go and stay.

Also I was thinking that perhaps as an Online DR1 community we can get together and help some of the people living in DR. At first I thought, is there such thing as Habitat for Humanity (it's a US organization that builds houses for the under privileged)? But after reading Carina's blog today, I was moved. Here are a couple of thoughts from her blog:

"They don?t always have pencils or papers. Sometimes they write words or do spelling on their blackboard, writing with a brush and water.
They do write, but it is like writing in snow, nothing is carved in stone,nothing they create is kept to be kept...
There, and gone.."

"I think they are happy in this world, here and now.
I think they need help and assistance.
I think they need exchange of ideas in education.
I think they need help with the basics, structure, books, pencils, rulers..
I also think they must keep their integrity, their smiles and their
pride to be from here, from Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic."

"I think we can help and assist.
I think we can grow from sharing their smiles.
I think we can give them part of the books, pencils etc they need.
I think we can share our world with them, but not let it move in to theirs."

?I know for sure, I get wealthy every time I visit "my kids".
And I give back to them what I can.?

Perhaps we can aid an area of the country that needs the most help. Set up a pay-pal or a Sanky Banky account :p

Please let me know your thoughts.

I haven't started planning for my trip as of yet, once I get some official dates I would like to get in contact with Carina and volunteer for part of my stay.

p.s. I'm scoping out a guy right now who is English and Chinese (hottie). I might end up in China next year. Let the break-ups begin. xx

p.s.s.Guys when at a club instead of paying attention to the girl with the highest bling bling, why not scope out her friends and go for the average girl.
 
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rellosk

Silver
Mar 18, 2002
4,170
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Welcome back! It takes a strong person to come back after being slammed in their first posting. It was also classy that you apologized to Anna.

BTW, I agree UBH is an awful term to use, especially in a public forum. Every person deserves respect.

PS: I have a feeling we're going to have some very entertaining stories from you.
 
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azuacanadagirl

New member
Jan 24, 2005
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I have a question for you

How exactly does a Dominican man dump you? Cause according to everything I've read on here for the last six months.... they never dump you. They'll hang on as long as you want. And even when you don't want them anymore... they still keep on calling and wanting you to return for whatever reason... money...visa...

Did he say something like... I've found another more paying tourist or something?

And how long had this relationship lasted? A week, a month, a year?
 
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lunaMaya

New member
May 17, 2005
8
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Hi azuacanadagirl

azuacanadagirl said:
How exactly does a Dominican man dump you? Cause according to everything I've read on here for the last six months.... they never dump you. They'll hang on as long as you want. And even when you don't want them anymore... they still keep on calling and wanting you to return for whatever reason... money...visa...

And how long had this relationship lasted? A week, a month, a year?
Click to expand...

I've read your post to get a better understanding of your situation.

Here's mine:
He lived in NY, it was a LD relationship. I met him on a weekend at a Salsa club. I enjoyed his passion and culture. I'm latina but I've always dated other ethnicities. So the dancing, sweet talking, loving etc. it got me hooked.

We talked and saw each other for 4 months, out of those 4 we saw each other 3 times. Some have asked 'why didn't he come visit you?' Well I didn't want to invite a stranger for a weekend at my place especially since I live alone. So I would visit whenever he and I were not busy.

He works for his dad, so money was not a concern. My LT-x-boyfriend father has a company and had always offered him a job. But he never wanted to take it; so I would(even when I was putting myself thru school) sometimes take care of him. That's a life lesson; I've experienced a bum and would not want the same again. There is a difference with someone that just doesn't want to work with someone who is a hard-worker but not in a decent paying field. I would give a chance to anyone who is a hard-worker, my family is a hard-working bunch, I've been through it.

On vacation you spend a week, for me it was a night, but LD-relationship are extremely tough, you don't see the persons facial expressions, which in communication is extremely important. There must also be tons of trust. I completely understand the whole thing 'but he calls me everyday what does he want from me'. Maybe it's the fact that they love to hear that someone cares for them, I know that's the reason why I responded back. I don't know about Sankies, because I haven't come accross one. I will have my first trip to the DR in about 2months, I don't want to try my luck with the all inclusive resorts though.

So I think my guy liked the sweet little things I would say to him the same way I loved to hear them. I guess it feels good knowing that you are going to talk with someone at the end of the day and share your daily thoughts. I actually asked what he thought about what was happening between me and him. He said 'Amor de lejos son para los pendejos, pero todavia podemos hablar'. Part of this line comes from a song and it means 'long distance love is for dum*ss*s, but we can continue talking'.

After four months I was completely hooked while he was slowly detaching but still keeping in contact. So one weekend I was fed-up and I text 'Today is the day you will dump me', he was upset and told me 'stop playing around'. I counted to 15 in french, spanish, roman numerals, and german. Basically I acted Psycho :nervous: . Try that, actually don't it fealt horrible. He said good-bye and that was it.

Since, I've come to this site I've gained tons of valuable information. I like Mr_Dr comments, they are extremely informative on the males perspective of things. Another user recommended a book 'He's just not that into you', It was a great book it was based on an episode in Sex In The City. I'm also trying to figure what's going on with me, why did I fall for this. Dont you Wonder?

Since I enjoy the dancing I've gone to salsa places in my area. I went to one last night and met an incredible dancer, he's PR, he showed me some great moves. He is performing in DC tonight and called to meet up for a drink. I will have to watch out for this one though, he was checking me out earlier in the night. But proceeded to take girls on the dance floor so that I could check him out. It worked :cross-eye He's going to show me some places in BMore, he says they have tons of great dancers there. So I think I will keep him as a friend.

It seems like you enjoy the culture, is there any Salsa/Merengue/Bachata places in your area?
 
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mofi

New member
Feb 9, 2005
341
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LunaMaya,
It takes alot for someone to come out and tell there complete story, as people can be a bit critical sometimes. I think the thing is that latin people in general have a different sense of family, and the attention they give to you is different then in other cultures. I have come to a conlcusion that all girls crave male attention wether they know it or not, wether it be a boyfriend or just flirting. For the guys side of it. I have a latin boyfriend as well, and even though I trust him (because at times it is long distance 4 months together 6 months apart, until i finish school) I know that he still talks with other girls and flirts with other girls, because they like to know and feel that someone is really into them. Thats my take on the situation. Long distance relationships can work but you have to work at them, and usually have spend more then a couple nights or weeks with them at first.
 
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