The more I travel and work around Europe, the more Dominican i feel.
1. Here in Norway, when the traffic gets congested, i take to driving on sidewalks all the time. In the DR, this would hardly get noticed. Here, people stop and stare at me with their mouths gaped open in horror.
2. I work outdoors mostly. I find that when i need to urinate, i simply look around for some bushes or small potted plants to urinate on. Afterwards, because i'm nearly 50, i have to stand and shake it wildly and wait patiently while it continues to drip. After i'm finished dripping, i simply turn around and go back to work. My Norwegian co-workers stare at me in horror.
3. When i see something i like, i simply pick it up and carry it home. I saw a bathtub that someone had thrown in the river. I stripped down to my shorts and waded into a 5ft cold river while people stood on the bridge above me and looked on in horror while i pulled the bathtub out of the river and carried it home. it weighed a ton and it took me nearly 2 hours to carry a 80lbs bathtub up 5 floors of stairs. it didn't fit in the elevator. It now sits on my balcony where i run a small garden hose from the kitchen and into the bathtub where i now use it as a Jacuzzi.
4. Every time i get a new Norwegian girlfriend (they dump me every fortnight), i find myself "borrowing" their shampoos and hair conditioners and taking them home with me where they have been slowly accumulating around my apartment to the point where i am now considering opening a hair salon in town. Why do women possess so many shampoos and hair conditioners? How many shampoos & conditioners could one woman possibly go through in one lifetime?
5. I find myself using hairnets, hairpins, hairspray, hair cream, hair bands, hair braids, hair curls, barrettes, hair straightener, hair grips, hair sliders, corsages, a garland, hair jewels, and a hair dryer just to get the right height, shape, width, and angle for my hair.
Frank
1. Here in Norway, when the traffic gets congested, i take to driving on sidewalks all the time. In the DR, this would hardly get noticed. Here, people stop and stare at me with their mouths gaped open in horror.
2. I work outdoors mostly. I find that when i need to urinate, i simply look around for some bushes or small potted plants to urinate on. Afterwards, because i'm nearly 50, i have to stand and shake it wildly and wait patiently while it continues to drip. After i'm finished dripping, i simply turn around and go back to work. My Norwegian co-workers stare at me in horror.
3. When i see something i like, i simply pick it up and carry it home. I saw a bathtub that someone had thrown in the river. I stripped down to my shorts and waded into a 5ft cold river while people stood on the bridge above me and looked on in horror while i pulled the bathtub out of the river and carried it home. it weighed a ton and it took me nearly 2 hours to carry a 80lbs bathtub up 5 floors of stairs. it didn't fit in the elevator. It now sits on my balcony where i run a small garden hose from the kitchen and into the bathtub where i now use it as a Jacuzzi.
4. Every time i get a new Norwegian girlfriend (they dump me every fortnight), i find myself "borrowing" their shampoos and hair conditioners and taking them home with me where they have been slowly accumulating around my apartment to the point where i am now considering opening a hair salon in town. Why do women possess so many shampoos and hair conditioners? How many shampoos & conditioners could one woman possibly go through in one lifetime?
5. I find myself using hairnets, hairpins, hairspray, hair cream, hair bands, hair braids, hair curls, barrettes, hair straightener, hair grips, hair sliders, corsages, a garland, hair jewels, and a hair dryer just to get the right height, shape, width, and angle for my hair.
Frank
