Recent content by gdelectron

Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit. Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant. Eric: - No way - he's...

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> > > Fresh from her shower,a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a...

A teacher is explaining biology to her 1st grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter', she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered', she volunteered. The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could come, asked the girl to describe...

Post Christmas Exercise Routine If like me you've pigged yourself over the holiday try this simple exercise to get back into shape. You might want to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. Always consult your doctor before...

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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse', he mumbles, from behind the mask. 'Are my testicles...

Phone answering machine message - '...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key...' I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said,'No...

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called Lifeline. I was put through to a ?call centre? in Pakistan. I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They were very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck or fly an aeroplane.... ;)

A Florida businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, "Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks...

Beer contains female hormones Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops...

Eddie, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing?' The prostitute...

A husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when this absolutely, stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh,"...

Support Group Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer." The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time . The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before...