I am a U.S. Citizen who has a child with a Dominican woman. I want custody of the child and I want to raise the child in the United States. As I am unfamiliar with the law I'm asking here to get a general idea of what I'm up against. I'm an educated man with a stable income who can provide well for the child. I don't care about support payments for the mother. So, what am I up against here? What's to stop me from just taking my child to the united states provided I have the necessary documentation and filing for custody in my own country.
- Thread starter BDRon1968
- Start date
Get custody of my child:
welcome to the DR1 Bord, Ron.
to just 'steal' your Child I don't think would be a lasting solution.
sur I know nothing about the circustances of your relationship with the Mother Today's, but I would firstly make HER an offer of let's say some monthly assistance $$$ to the Mother in exchange to leave the Girlie with You in the USA to give her the best education.
are you officially the Father on the Papers/married to the Mother?
if not I would guess You would need to Adopt the lil Lady firstly.
looking forward to the professional's answer of our Bordlawyer fabio.
good Luck
Mike
to just 'steal' your Child I don't think would be a lasting solution.
sur I know nothing about the circustances of your relationship with the Mother Today's, but I would firstly make HER an offer of let's say some monthly assistance $$$ to the Mother in exchange to leave the Girlie with You in the USA to give her the best education.
are you officially the Father on the Papers/married to the Mother?
if not I would guess You would need to Adopt the lil Lady firstly.
looking forward to the professional's answer of our Bordlawyer fabio.
good Luck
Mike
Unless you have evidence that the child is under threat, living with the mother then you are up against a lot. I don't expect the mother will just sign the child over to you, and the myth about paying off the mother to take your child is exactly that, a myth some people claim is an often occurrence. If she is real gutter scum then maybe she will, but a mother won't be separated very easily if at all.
I expect you will be advised that unless you DO have the agreement from the mother, then waiting until the child is old enough to tell those that matter who she wants to be with, then you have something to work with.
Just because you have more money does not make this an open shut case, and even if money isn't an issue it makes little difference.
Win the mother over, or win the child over, I was told by one of the boards lawyers 95% of the time they will keep the child with the mother, unless an amicable agreement is in place on all involved.
Good luck, but don't hold your breath.
I expect you will be advised that unless you DO have the agreement from the mother, then waiting until the child is old enough to tell those that matter who she wants to be with, then you have something to work with.
Just because you have more money does not make this an open shut case, and even if money isn't an issue it makes little difference.
Win the mother over, or win the child over, I was told by one of the boards lawyers 95% of the time they will keep the child with the mother, unless an amicable agreement is in place on all involved.
Good luck, but don't hold your breath.
BDRON, Mike's advise is good, try that first.
Having a good job and steady income should make you able to provide for the kid here. The way they think over here is that the child is most always better of with the mother, as they also think in our world.
Now what other arguments you have why the child should be raised by you? Is the mother a hooker, does she use drugs? Does she have more kids who she can't support? How old is the child? If it's a very young child then you might as well forget it.
These questions you should answer to yourself.
It's not that easy to take a child out of the country, you need the mother's authorization and notarized. If you don't have that and somehow you're still able to get your child out of the DR the mother can go and charge you with kidnapping. There's an International treaty on this also signed by the US and the DR.
If you do this you'll get the short end of the stick trust me.
Get a good lawyer and I wish you luck because you're going to need it.
Unfortunately men don't have rights just obligations:ermm:
Having a good job and steady income should make you able to provide for the kid here. The way they think over here is that the child is most always better of with the mother, as they also think in our world.
Now what other arguments you have why the child should be raised by you? Is the mother a hooker, does she use drugs? Does she have more kids who she can't support? How old is the child? If it's a very young child then you might as well forget it.
These questions you should answer to yourself.
It's not that easy to take a child out of the country, you need the mother's authorization and notarized. If you don't have that and somehow you're still able to get your child out of the DR the mother can go and charge you with kidnapping. There's an International treaty on this also signed by the US and the DR.
If you do this you'll get the short end of the stick trust me.
Get a good lawyer and I wish you luck because you're going to need it.
Unfortunately men don't have rights just obligations:ermm:
You're up against a lot, I think. There is a German guy in Cabarete who has a special needs child with the Dominican. They have been in court for two years trying to get custody for the father - and the mother isn't even in the DR, she's in Spain! The child is living with the maternal grandparents and so far the courts have deemed she is better there than with the father because "What good can a single man do for a special needs childs"?
If you do this you'll get the short end of the stick trust me.
Get a good lawyer and I wish you luck because you're going to need it.
even if you do get a lawyer...you will still get the short end
you are a foreigner...
most countries lean toward the mom...
no way they will let you take the child out of the country...
it will cost you thousands for nothing
Get a good lawyer and I wish you luck because you're going to need it.
even if you do get a lawyer...you will still get the short end
you are a foreigner...
most countries lean toward the mom...
no way they will let you take the child out of the country...
it will cost you thousands for nothing
Negotiate/ Lawyer
The biggest lesson that divorce taught me (there were many) is the value of negotiation. I'm sure that your child's Mother wants what's best for the child as much as you do. Make that the point of your negotiation with her. If the two of you are not on speaking terms then maybe an attorney would be able to appeal to her logical side on your behalf until the two of you can put your feelings aside and cooperate on behalf of your young one.
The emotional health of the child is just as important as where they go to school. Knowledge of both of your relatives and family histories from 1st hand sources is key to establishing their own identity and being comfortable within their own skin.
Take things slowly. Consult attorneys both in the DR and back home. Believe it or not the type of State approved parenting class which is made mandatory in most US divorce cases involving children is a great place to start. It really halped me to put things in perspective and I was able to work out a totally acceptable (on both sides and in court) joint custody arrangement. First we had to end the war, then we got on with the business of raising the children.
Finding the right attorneys will be key to your success. Start looking ASAP.
The biggest lesson that divorce taught me (there were many) is the value of negotiation. I'm sure that your child's Mother wants what's best for the child as much as you do. Make that the point of your negotiation with her. If the two of you are not on speaking terms then maybe an attorney would be able to appeal to her logical side on your behalf until the two of you can put your feelings aside and cooperate on behalf of your young one.
The emotional health of the child is just as important as where they go to school. Knowledge of both of your relatives and family histories from 1st hand sources is key to establishing their own identity and being comfortable within their own skin.
Take things slowly. Consult attorneys both in the DR and back home. Believe it or not the type of State approved parenting class which is made mandatory in most US divorce cases involving children is a great place to start. It really halped me to put things in perspective and I was able to work out a totally acceptable (on both sides and in court) joint custody arrangement. First we had to end the war, then we got on with the business of raising the children.
Finding the right attorneys will be key to your success. Start looking ASAP.
Greydread,
With respect, I find that usually you are one of the most intelligent and better informed posters on the board. However I think you could be way off the Mark on this one on several levels. It is quite common for the mother to be selfish, even in the case of her own child, even then she will want something out of it, and more. Lawyers in this case will just run away with money, and with no results at the end of it. Also trying to get some of these women to consider logic is almost impossible, they know it all. Getting one to work for what is only best for the child without taking herself into consideration at the number one spot is almost impossible.
I can see how your scenario might have worked for you, a developed relationship with an educated intelligent woman. However, intelligent educated woman are rarely involved in these situations.
With respect, I find that usually you are one of the most intelligent and better informed posters on the board. However I think you could be way off the Mark on this one on several levels. It is quite common for the mother to be selfish, even in the case of her own child, even then she will want something out of it, and more. Lawyers in this case will just run away with money, and with no results at the end of it. Also trying to get some of these women to consider logic is almost impossible, they know it all. Getting one to work for what is only best for the child without taking herself into consideration at the number one spot is almost impossible.
I can see how your scenario might have worked for you, a developed relationship with an educated intelligent woman. However, intelligent educated woman are rarely involved in these situations.
My father went to court to get custody of his daughter, my father is Dominican and she is Dominican too. My father won custody of his daughter because the Lady's family (parents and siblings) testified in favor of my father. My sister was 4 years old.
Even after my father gained full custody, he was NOT allowed to take my sister out of the country without the mother's permission, which, she didn't give to my father until my sister was 15 years old.
Gaining custody does not mean you can take her out of the country without the mother's permission.
Welcome to DR1 bad ronald:cheeky:..But you are not giving enough details about your situation...Is the mother abusive? Is the child being neglected? Is the child in danger in any way?..If no, you are facing a up hill battle in the DR courts....
And maybe you could win custody, but then maybe you would be a loser in the moral court..Just think about it for a minute..Do you really want to take a child from it's mother? Do you really think because you are more educated and have more money then the mother that you would be better in raising your child? I don't know the answers to these questions, only you do..
Maybe you are being a little selfish here, or are you just a jilted lover who wants to get back at your ex..If the mother is a good mother to your baby why dont you just support your baby as best as you can..Private schools, clothes, foood, and try to see that your child lives in a decent environment..and dont worry about the chulo living there....
even that you may be right, Buddy,
a bit harsh of a comment unless You know Her.
the OP did not mention in any form out of what kinda relationship the Child came out from nor it's Age etc etc.
Mike
slowly Frank,
Fabio may enjoy his well earned Retirement and not read DR1 Posings on Daily Bases.
He is providing here a FREE Service and sure will answer when he see's the Question.
coje lo con calma, estamos en el caribe, Pana.
Mike
You are correct Mike, I massively over generalised or steriotyped the situation which is wrong, I agree. Maybe he could let us in a little more on the situation to get a better picture.
I'd sweeten the offer by reminding her that the daughter will do her immigration paperwork once she turns 18. While it's heartbreaking to leave a child, many many women do it to advance the family. She may be one of those. If you have the mother's cooperation, you'll have a better chance.
Also, just wanted to say that I disagree that simply supporting her and paying for good insurance, good schools, etc. is a close second to being raised in the U.S. under your watchful eye. Don't want to generalize without details of both of your situations, but I'd try as hard as I could now to get her with you.
The Hague Convention works both ways. If you have a way to get a visa to the US for the child, you have to comply with the Visa, so it probably won't work in your favor to ask for custody once there.
Hope that you can get good legal advice, as I know it becomes expensive and frustrating to work the legal system. However tempting it may be to go around the system, the price you'll pay will be too high.
I will not start a new discussion here which would be off topic to the OP's Topic,
but I heartfully completely Disagree about the school/education thingy.
Mike
Good Luck
I sincerely wish the OP the best and more than the best for his little jewel. Pulling a child from the DR or any other country without the custodial parent's permission or a court order is very very difficult. Even getting that permission or court order can become a protracted endeavor.
It goes beyond an agreement or court order from the child's country of citizenship though. Then there are the passport and visa issues in RD that can either be simple or become very complicated. If momma does not want to let the child go, either for the child's best interests or momma's $$$$ interests, she will prevail in the Dominican courts.
I do alot of immigration work and have been entangled in many disputes of this nature. God bless your daughter and may she have the best.
k1k3-visa.com
I sincerely wish the OP the best and more than the best for his little jewel. Pulling a child from the DR or any other country without the custodial parent's permission or a court order is very very difficult. Even getting that permission or court order can become a protracted endeavor.
It goes beyond an agreement or court order from the child's country of citizenship though. Then there are the passport and visa issues in RD that can either be simple or become very complicated. If momma does not want to let the child go, either for the child's best interests or momma's $$$$ interests, she will prevail in the Dominican courts.
I do alot of immigration work and have been entangled in many disputes of this nature. God bless your daughter and may she have the best.
k1k3-visa.com
I knew someone would, and part of the statement is devil's advocate part is making some assumptions.
Also not wanting to high jack the thread, I think we'll agree that for most of us as individuals we want our children to be with us.
So I'm not saying it's better to be raised in the US than the DR, rather that it may be better in this case to be watched over by a caring father in the US. The critical missing piece of information may be what we don't know about the mother.
However, the fact that the OP is suggesting extreme measures suggests that there won't be shared custody with the opportunity for the best of both worlds. I've actually encouraged Dominican friends to keep their children in the DR to give them the love and "village" support that allow children to thrive and develop unbelievable self-esteem. I'd trust my own child with an "average" Dominican in ways that I've never been able to outside of my own family in the US.
Custody issues are tough, and I wish the OP the best of luck and success.