What people forget is that this is a very different culture. They/We come in and try to interpret local behaviours from our set of cultural ideas. This just doesnt work!
Here are some basic differences:
Many dominican men are polygamous. Some men have 3 or more women with kids who they support and sometimes more they see on the side secretly. It really doesnt seem to be a big deal. In the lower classes marriages rarely seem to be formalized. Many women have multiple boyfriends but it is kept a big secret and is considered slutty.
North Americans believe in one man one woman and anything else is "evil". Even the idea of casually dateing two women isnt considered acceptable.
Dominicans have color that are very difficult for them to transend. Marrying up in color is a big deal. Straight hair is a really big deal. First question grandma asks: pelo bueno o pelo malo (sorry about my spelling)
White North Americans do not usually spend a lot of time checking the precise skin tone of future spouses. Imagine discussing exactly how white your girlfriend is? Is it permi-tan? clear? translucent? or if her hair is curly or straight.
Dominicans have a loose class system based on family name, skin color, and money. Some guy who makes it big is still low class even if he drives a 100KUS jeepeta and everyone knows it. Those who live here can spot them from 100m away
Dominicans value loyalty more than honesty. This does NOT mean that they dont value honesty. It is just that when the conflict comes between the two dominicans will choose to be loyal rather than honest. Additionally, dominicans will deny an obvious truth in the interest of being loyal. You can see this after any traffic accident.
Dominicans are a clannish, community-based people who are VERY attached to family, neighborhood, and hometown. Family importance is pretty obvious here. Dominicans leagues in NYC form baseball teams by hometown in the DR. Dominicans who have lived 25 years in santo domingo still are considered local to the town they were born in and must return there to vote. It is rare to find a dominican who moves from one town to another (excluding city migration). If they do you have to wonder why? did they have problems in the last town? Although it would be second generation now, note that towns like sosua and cabereta are largely populated by people who just up and moved there.
There are many many more but this post is long enough already. Try to see how these differences can drastically change your perception of relationships here.
Disclaimer:
This is NOT a complaint about dominicans this is some of my observations on the cultural differences between how i was raised and where i live now. I love this country and its people. This place is my home and I CHOOSE to live here. Many but not all of these differences i have also adopted as my own as well
My observations are based almost entirely on life in one small town. I would expect santiago/santo domingo to be different. please post your observations
Comments/disagreements are welcomed. if you have been here twice on vacation to an AI, dont bother.
Here are some basic differences:
Many dominican men are polygamous. Some men have 3 or more women with kids who they support and sometimes more they see on the side secretly. It really doesnt seem to be a big deal. In the lower classes marriages rarely seem to be formalized. Many women have multiple boyfriends but it is kept a big secret and is considered slutty.
North Americans believe in one man one woman and anything else is "evil". Even the idea of casually dateing two women isnt considered acceptable.
Dominicans have color that are very difficult for them to transend. Marrying up in color is a big deal. Straight hair is a really big deal. First question grandma asks: pelo bueno o pelo malo (sorry about my spelling)
White North Americans do not usually spend a lot of time checking the precise skin tone of future spouses. Imagine discussing exactly how white your girlfriend is? Is it permi-tan? clear? translucent? or if her hair is curly or straight.
Dominicans have a loose class system based on family name, skin color, and money. Some guy who makes it big is still low class even if he drives a 100KUS jeepeta and everyone knows it. Those who live here can spot them from 100m away
Dominicans value loyalty more than honesty. This does NOT mean that they dont value honesty. It is just that when the conflict comes between the two dominicans will choose to be loyal rather than honest. Additionally, dominicans will deny an obvious truth in the interest of being loyal. You can see this after any traffic accident.
Dominicans are a clannish, community-based people who are VERY attached to family, neighborhood, and hometown. Family importance is pretty obvious here. Dominicans leagues in NYC form baseball teams by hometown in the DR. Dominicans who have lived 25 years in santo domingo still are considered local to the town they were born in and must return there to vote. It is rare to find a dominican who moves from one town to another (excluding city migration). If they do you have to wonder why? did they have problems in the last town? Although it would be second generation now, note that towns like sosua and cabereta are largely populated by people who just up and moved there.
There are many many more but this post is long enough already. Try to see how these differences can drastically change your perception of relationships here.
Disclaimer:
This is NOT a complaint about dominicans this is some of my observations on the cultural differences between how i was raised and where i live now. I love this country and its people. This place is my home and I CHOOSE to live here. Many but not all of these differences i have also adopted as my own as well
My observations are based almost entirely on life in one small town. I would expect santiago/santo domingo to be different. please post your observations
Comments/disagreements are welcomed. if you have been here twice on vacation to an AI, dont bother.