Dominican Airforce/Army? Or have any advice for me?

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lfleming

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I'm in a bit of a nightmare situation and is a long story.

My boyfriend is from the Dominican and I am from Scotland and although physically we look the same age I am 10years older. We met only 1 year ago and I wasn't attracted to him physically, but once we got talking we just clicked and didn't want to be apart from each other. A lot of my friends in Scotland told me that he is only after a passport and when I told him this, he told me that it doesn't matter about a passport and that he would be more than happy for me to move over to Dominican to live with him and that he loves me for me and not for any papers.

He is in the army and worked there through the day and worked at a bar at night. But he has now been called up by the army and has had to give his bar job up and can't get to contact me. He speaks very little English, but he always manages to get his colonel's son to send me messages.

I would like to go to the Domincan a few times a year to get to know him better before making any kind of commitment. The problem is, is that I don't know whether he would be able to get time off from the army to see me.

Does anyone know a bit about the Dominican Airforce/Army? Or have any advice for me?

Thanks x
 
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AnnaC

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lfleming said:
He is in the army and worked there through the day and worked at a bar at night. But he has now been called up by the army and has had to give his bar job up and can't get to contact me. He speaks very little English, but he always manages to get his colonel's son to send me messages.

I would like to go to the Dominican a few times a year to get to know him better before making any kind of commitment. The problem is, is that I don't know whether he would be able to get time off from the army to see me.

Does anyone know a bit about the Dominican Airforce/Army? Or have any advice for me?

Thanks x
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Wow 5 hours has gone by and no one has offered any advice yet?

What I will say is that only this fellow knows how much time he will get off in order to visit with you. The other thing is that unless he starts taking English lessons and you take Spanish how will you get to know each other? Doesn't sound like you have much going on in the way of true communication with this fellow.

Something doesn't sound right here but good luck whatever you decide.
 
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Lambada

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He doesn't live at the army barracks? And he can't get to contact you because he has had to give up the bar job? Did his colonel's son run the bar? I don't quite see what the connection is between him not being able to contact you now that he isn't at the bar if most of the contact is via the son of his commanding officer. Well..........I could speculate, but I won't.
 
Hillbilly

Hillbilly

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Cougar after cub. Cub gets cougar. Cougar screwed!!

DO NOT spend one penny, and you will see where this is going..

This is a play. You met him at a hotel? Bar? Anywhere but an Insurance/bank/commercial establishement??? And even then it is 50-50 it is a ploy.

You are his ticket out of here...

Army here is pi$$ poor pay, no advancement chances (unless a chance to cover for some cocaine trafficking turns up-but then he wouldn't need you!!)

HB
 
Bronxboy

Bronxboy

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lfleming said:
I'm in a bit of a nightmare situation and is a long story.

My boyfriend is from the Dominican and I am from Scotland and although physically we look the same age I am 10years older. We met only 1 year ago and I wasn't attracted to him physically, but once we got talking we just clicked and didn't want to be apart from each other. A lot of my friends in Scotland told me that he is only after a passport and when I told him this, he told me that it doesn't matter about a passport and that he would be more than happy for me to move over to Dominican to live with him and that he loves me for me and not for any papers.

He is in the army and worked there through the day and worked at a bar at night. But he has now been called up by the army and has had to give his bar job up and can't get to contact me. He speaks very little English, but he always manages to get his colonel's son to send me messages.

I would like to go to the Domincan a few times a year to get to know him better before making any kind of commitment. The problem is, is that I don't know whether he would be able to get time off from the army to see me.

Does anyone know a bit about the Dominican Airforce/Army? Or have any advice for me?

Thanks x
Click to expand...

Run!!!!!! as fast as you can........................................................:ermm:
 
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lfleming

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Thanks for all your feedback.

I have heard some horror stories and thats why I wanted some advice. He is learning English from a friend and I am learning Spanish. But it just seemed strange to me that he would email me every week for a year and then when he was "called up" he couldn't communicate with me at all except through a boy of 14. I will stop all communication with the 14 year old boy (sounds ridiculous I know) and see what happens. So far, he has never requested money and I wouldn't send it anyway.

It's so hard to find a genuine decent guy anywhere and that includes my own country

Once again, thanks and I will keep you all posted

L x
 
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lfleming

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Oh I meant to say that I believe he does live at the barracks and so is there day and night. But how can I be sure? He worked in a bar at night but then was called in Airforce / Army for something and had to give the bar job up because he was going to be stationed at the barracks day and night.
 
Hillbilly

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As far as I know the DR military, that does not sound right. Usually they are a few days on duty and then a few more off. Nobody is 24/7 on duty unless there is an emergency.

And there is no emergency.

I am betting he is working on another innocent...

Be careful and forget this guy...

HB
 
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Chip

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You're best bet is to forget this guy.

Not to worry though, there are literally thousands of Dominican guys in the States who would love to have a gringa as a girlfriend, and many speak English to boot. You best bet is to communicate with the via the social networking website. A real bonus is that they won't be after you at the very least for a residence card in gringolandia (wherever ithat may be), as they already have one if they aren't already a citizen of wherever they live.

I in fact have two family members on the wife's side that live in NY (maybe illegally ? :) ), that are doing their best to find a gringa girlfriend, but alas to no avail. I keep telling their family to tell them to learn English, but it is easier said to done. Nonetheless, one of them left a promising medical career here in the DR to sweep floors in NY and after three or four years I doubt he'll have saved US10k. The point is I know he's there because of all of the gringas, hehe.
 
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lfleming

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Thanks everyone.

I will forget him and move on.

God I am sick of kissing frogs! I want to find my prince! LOL!!

Thanks for everything x
 
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Kyle

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my advice would be to still visit 3-4 times a year. the DR allows you to look at the menu (its free) without buying...:laugh:
 
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Lambada

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lfleming said:
Thanks everyone.

I will forget him and move on.

God I am sick of kissing frogs! I want to find my prince! LOL!!

Thanks for everything x
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Sensible woman, now be even more sensible & STOP looking. Men are like number 11 busses, when you're not looking for one, 3 come along at once :) . There are plenty of genuine decent guys in all countries of the world but I suspect you're giving out the sort of signals which attract the other sort. So start valuing your own worth more and the frogs won't even bother to croak on the way out because they'll know they're beat & you're smart enough to spot them from a distance.

In one of my spaces between relationships I once joined a singles social group which did have normal members but also had vulnerable females and predatory males. The woman in charge used to send me in to do the pitbull routine with the predatory males after we had observed them swoop on the vulnerable females. Did I ever have fun with that :) ;).

Good luck to you, Ms Fleming.
 
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Berzin

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lfleming said:
It's so hard to find a genuine decent guy anywhere and that includes my own country.
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Here is my take on the above quote. Men and women have a tendency to put up too many barriers that keep them from meeting people in their home countries.

They get into one or two bad relationships and suddenly no one is good enough anymore, or they wind up passive-aggressively making the next person they date pay for what the previous boy/girlfriend supposedly "did" to them.

Then they go to the DR and lose their minds.

My feeling is you would not hook up with an immigrant who does not speak your language in your home country.

All you are doing is putting obstacles in your way and making yourself miserable.
 
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rsg

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Berzin said:
Here is my take on the above quote. Men and women have a tendency to put up too many barriers that keep them from meeting people in their home countries.

They get into one or two bad relationships and suddenly no one is good enough anymore, or they wind up passive-aggressively making the next person they date pay for what the previous boy/girlfriend supposedly "did" to them.

Then they go to the DR and lose their minds.

My feeling is you would not hook up with an immigrant who does not speak your language in your home country.

All you are doing is putting obstacles in your way and making yourself miserable.
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Your opinion may be true for you and many people Berzin, but not for everyone. Some 55 year old balding fat guy may have a hard time finding a hot 25 year old latina in Iowa, and maybe thats all he is looking for in his life.Some of those 40+ Canadian women know the game but choose to be with those 22 year old studs.
What i really mean is that not everyone is blind to the games in the DR, but some people except it and are happy to get what they want. Not everyone may be looking for true love anymore at a certain point in their life.
 
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lfleming

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I take all your comments on board guys. But I actually met this guy when I wasn't looking for anyone. I was 5 years without looking for anyone and he just came along out of the blue and I know exacty what some Dominican Guys are like as I had a few approach me when I was there, they sweet talk you and expect you to pay for everything, but this guy paid for everything, so I thought that perhaps he was different. Yeh you are right, I do attract the wrong men. The men I seem to attract only want a charm bracelet for their arm and are not interested in any type of commited relattionship.

But its been nice talking to all you guys, thanks!
 
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Berzin

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rsg said:
Your opinion may be true for you and many people Berzin, but not for everyone. Some 55 year old balding fat guy may have a hard time finding a hot 25 year old latina in Iowa, and maybe that's all he is looking for in his life.Some of those 40+ Canadian women know the game but choose to be with those 22 year old studs.
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Some people that have problems with relationships in the DR have no clue what they're getting themselves into, and then don't want to hear it when you tell them. Let's give the OP the benefit of the doubt, because it does not sound like she was in the DR for sex tourism or just a casual fling.


rsg said:
What i really mean is that not everyone is blind to the games in the DR, but some people except it and are happy to get what they want. Not everyone may be looking for true love anymore at a certain point in their life.
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If the OP had fit your description she wouldn't have bothered to post.

The OP stated she hadn't had a relationship in five years and is having trouble finding a good man in her country. I was being very specific in my advice, not generalizing about all tourists.
 
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Black Dog

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Lambada said:
The woman in charge used to send me in to do the pitbull routine with the predatory males after we had observed them swoop on the vulnerable females. Did I ever have fun with that :) ;).

Good luck to you, Ms Fleming.
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Lambada has a fantastic ability to serve up such sound advice with a large dollop of humour on the side! :bunny:
 
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