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Love and Listerine
Posted on March 31, 2020by meemselle
My mother, Regina L, OBM, raised 6 children, pretty much on her own, as she was widowed twice by the age of 35—the first time with 4 of us, the second time with 6…..She was a pretty awesome human being. Anything I know about parenting comes from her, and I am a pallid reflection.
Out of the 6 of us—and keep in mind, I am the eldest, so sort of a test case—2 turned out according to expectations. I, sadly, am in the other two-thirds.
Regina L. was a graduate of U-Mass, in the days when it was not so common for “girls” to attend university. She majored in child development and nutrition. And then she was a stay-at-home mom, before that concept existed, because everybody’s mom stayed at home.
It didn’t matter what ailed you: Listerine was her go-to. And I don’t mean all this fency blue minty Listerine. No, no, no, Darlinos. I mean the old school stuff. The gold. The kind that rips the enamel off your teeth.
You could have — look at this list, which is my no means extensive: Dandruff: Listerine. Acne: Listerine. A cold: Listerine. Headache: Listerine. Cramps: Listerine. Smelly sneakers: Listerine. Ennui: Listerine. Not enough books: Listerine. (no wait: we were never without books). Privacy issues: Listerine.
So, in the interest of preserving my life and the lives of those around me, I decided (for once in my life) to listen to what Regina L. said. I bought 2 big bottles of Listerine (which are very small and expensive here: I’m used to it coming by the gallon, but one must press on) and put them in a, pulverizador — the kind of spray bottle hairdressers use. I may not have the correct Dominican word.
I started spraying the be-jeezuz out of all of my doorknobs, fridge handles—Hell, my face when I felt like it—because why not. It’s the smell of my childhood.
Darlinos: All I can say is that it ripped the varnish off my doors.
There’s a fine line, in the Age of COVID-19, of being well-informed and obsessing. I try to limit my incoming information to what’s necessary; I receive the updates from the US Embassy. I am in lockdown. I did, however, read a post on FB (it’s on the Internet so it MUST be true) from someone dressed in scrubs and purporting to be a doctor (or maybe he just plays one on TV) who said that Listerine is actually quite effective.
Right? If it rips the varnish off your doors, it’s got to be doing something!
Stay safe, Darlinos. And rest assured: more Words soon!
Love and Listerine
Posted on March 31, 2020by meemselle
My mother, Regina L, OBM, raised 6 children, pretty much on her own, as she was widowed twice by the age of 35—the first time with 4 of us, the second time with 6…..She was a pretty awesome human being. Anything I know about parenting comes from her, and I am a pallid reflection.
Out of the 6 of us—and keep in mind, I am the eldest, so sort of a test case—2 turned out according to expectations. I, sadly, am in the other two-thirds.
Regina L. was a graduate of U-Mass, in the days when it was not so common for “girls” to attend university. She majored in child development and nutrition. And then she was a stay-at-home mom, before that concept existed, because everybody’s mom stayed at home.
It didn’t matter what ailed you: Listerine was her go-to. And I don’t mean all this fency blue minty Listerine. No, no, no, Darlinos. I mean the old school stuff. The gold. The kind that rips the enamel off your teeth.
You could have — look at this list, which is my no means extensive: Dandruff: Listerine. Acne: Listerine. A cold: Listerine. Headache: Listerine. Cramps: Listerine. Smelly sneakers: Listerine. Ennui: Listerine. Not enough books: Listerine. (no wait: we were never without books). Privacy issues: Listerine.
So, in the interest of preserving my life and the lives of those around me, I decided (for once in my life) to listen to what Regina L. said. I bought 2 big bottles of Listerine (which are very small and expensive here: I’m used to it coming by the gallon, but one must press on) and put them in a, pulverizador — the kind of spray bottle hairdressers use. I may not have the correct Dominican word.
I started spraying the be-jeezuz out of all of my doorknobs, fridge handles—Hell, my face when I felt like it—because why not. It’s the smell of my childhood.
Darlinos: All I can say is that it ripped the varnish off my doors.
There’s a fine line, in the Age of COVID-19, of being well-informed and obsessing. I try to limit my incoming information to what’s necessary; I receive the updates from the US Embassy. I am in lockdown. I did, however, read a post on FB (it’s on the Internet so it MUST be true) from someone dressed in scrubs and purporting to be a doctor (or maybe he just plays one on TV) who said that Listerine is actually quite effective.
Right? If it rips the varnish off your doors, it’s got to be doing something!
Stay safe, Darlinos. And rest assured: more Words soon!