A Story about a "good Dominican Man"

[caribe_princess]

Well this has been quite an experience LOL, yes it is the sankie section but that was not what this thread was about.
You know, life is complicated, I am sure we all struggle to make the right choices and we may all get knocked down, but that is Life, to me it is somthing that teaches me right from wrong, and it makes me realize i need to grab every ouch of happiness that comes my way. I never said this man was perfect nor did i say i was perfect.This is a man i have come to care about a great deal. I have sat and watched people i know meet a guy then after two visits say they are in love and give up everything they have worked so hard for to have that person they dont even know here with them, Well for me i cannot do that. I am a single mom i work 3 jobs, and am finishing the last year of my degree. I am in no situation to turn my life upside down to bring a man here and just watch it fall apart before my eyes because i didnt wait to learn more about him, as i have seen and heard so many people do. If he wanted out of his country he would be out by now. I am thankful for every moment of happiness i get to share with him. You know i have seen so many horrible things in my life, and it has taught me to be a better person, i have a 10 yr old daughter who fights everyday of her life with cancer, and i am thankful for every day we make it through. it has taught me to be happy to live and to love with out judgement or sacrifices. What is meant to be wil be. If we are meant to be together we wil be, but for now it cannot be, we have lives in two different parts of the world we have to live for now, and yes he could of dated this girl and i would of never known, but he did tell me, and i was thankful that he thought enough of me to tell me. Who knows where our lives wil bring us, Love is a very difficult thing, and if he meets someone in his own countries that is going to make him happy, and he feels that she is the one, then i say good for him, and even though i would be sad at first, i would never regret anything, i will be happy for the memories we made and cherish them with every other great time i have had in my life. We both know how hard it is, trust me when i say we do care for each other, but i am not about to make a mistake when it comes to my happiness, but i am also not going to jump into things with my eyes closed. It takes time, trust, openess and communication to have a relationship with anyone. And if someday it happens to us, then we will both know we did everything right. We will be able to go into it, personally knowing each others families, cultures, lifestyles, and above all each other. I am sorry that people find it so hard to beleive that two adults can care about each other and still live seperate lives, but i am not sorry that i found this wonderful person. We all do things differently in our lives, and some thingd work for us and some dont, but if you beleive in something or someone, patience will help you see your path clearly. Well for me anyhow.So i will continue and what ever happens, happens, we will perhaps someday be together, or maybe we will find someone new. I will never be broken hearted, but only thankful for having another wonderful person in my life. who for the moments we got to share made me smile, laugh and feel special.

Lisa

 

[momita]

You guys are all unbelieveable, i never said once that we are an exclusive couple, how much sense would that make, having a boyfriend you could only see a few times a year, maybe people need to pay attention to what is being said. I was trying to state how you can meet nice people you care about who arent in it to use you, and that if you are open and honest that maybe SOMEDAY if you get to the point that you would like to be exclusive you have something to build on. instead of just a week of paradise. Lisa

Lisa just stop fooling yourself or us.
First of all you haven't any relationship with him as you tried to say before!
Tell you what,you're just going there few times a year to meet your "papi".
I believe you like each other.You need a very good f****.He needs your money,presents AND SOMEDAY YOUR SIGNATURE FOR HIS VISA APPLICATION.
There is nothing extraordinary in your boyfriend.

Tell us how many times you gave him a presents,how many times you paid for hotels(cabanas),taxis,drinks etc,etc.Be honest to yourself!
Tell me if you are saying that you get known each other,
*what is his favourite BOOK?
*What kind of movies does he likes?
*Do you know his opinion about politic system in his country?

Do you know that Lisa or rather should I asked Does he know that?

Momita:glasses:
P.s I REALLY WISH YOU WELL.:cheeky:

 

[jenfau]

tough crowd

Just going to drop in to say come on guys most of you are really negative.I think you are no doubt wise in alot of areas concerning Sankies that is great but I think you are lacking maybe in some compassion and are so focused on the negative that you have closed yourself to any positive concerning the DR.Do you honestly believe that there isn't anybody decent there.That is pretty closed minded of you all.I agree with Princess this is supposed to be a place to openly talk.Yes I know that it is a free world but it is really hard to speak here when you get knocked down.Maybe instead of saying all the negative try to focus on a little positive.She isn't saying she moving down and giving up her life here for a man. She has a life and good for her she finishing her degree and taking care of her family. There was not hats off to her for that, just that she is being taken for a fool.Maybe its the majority of you that need a lesson on happiness because I think it is well worth having a few weeks of bliss fantasy or not.We live in a harsh society and why not escape and have relationships with others who live life differently.Yes Sankies are out there but we once again focus on the negative part and not all women are being scammed and ripped off give us some credit we are not that stupid or closed minded.We just want to be happy.So yes this post will be knocked down but think before trashing someone we are not all stupid and we have lived and we are not all over weight ugly women trying to find a man.Some of us have been married and have beautiful children and jobs and a life here but it is nice to have your eyes opened to new ways of feeling and being carefree. Life is too short to feed off negative.We learn from our mistakes hopefully but there is no harm in believing the good in others even if they are a world away.

 

[stormer]

Hey Lisa,
Sorry for all the negative energy around here.....keep in mind, everyone is just trying to help out......

 

[nickijay]

Hey Lisa,
Sorry for all the negative energy around here.....keep in mind, everyone is just trying to help out......

I think it might help if everyone didnt get so personal, i know most people are trying to help and save other from getting hurt but some people are just cruel. As its been said before there are people out there who do have happy, relationships/marriages with dominicans but you just dont read much about that.

 

[Audra]

I think it might help if everyone didnt get so personal, i know most people are trying to help and save other from getting hurt but some people are just cruel. As its been said before there are people out there who do have happy, relationships/marriages with dominicans but you just dont read much about that.

DR1 is a big wake up slap of reality. As people have posted before, if you are going to post it, you're going to hear it. Why else would you be here? This forum Men are from Mars..../Sankie is here for a reason.

DR1 is a wealth of information on all other areas of the DR. Lots of knowledge and information shared here. Anything you need to know, heres where you'll find the answers, good or bad.

 

[Alyonka]

Yes Sankies are out there but we once again focus on the negative part and not all women are being scammed and ripped off give us some credit we are not that stupid or closed minded.We just want to be happy.So yes this post will be knocked down but think before trashing someone we are not all stupid and we have lived and we are not all over weight ugly women trying to find a man.Some of us have been married and have beautiful children and jobs and a life here but it is nice to have your eyes opened to new ways of feeling and being carefree. Life is too short to feed off negative.We learn from our mistakes hopefully but there is no harm in believing the good in others even if they are a world away.

I agree, the fact that someone got involved with a sankie does not mean that she/he is stupid, really. I kind of like when people joke about it but not in a mean way ... There is always a risk if you change your life for someone else. Sometimes a short relationship with a decent person can cost so much more then many years of supporting a sankie. And it will be much more difficult and costly to get out of it ...

 

[nickijay]

DR1 is a wealth of information on all other areas of the DR. Lots of knowledge and information shared here. Anything you need to know, heres where you'll find the answers, good or bad.

I couldnt agree more i was just mentioning that maybe people should refrain from getting personal and having a go at people.

 

[Audra]

I couldnt agree more i was just mentioning that maybe people should refrain from getting personal and having a go at people.

entertainment purely entertainment.

 

[mountainfrog]

A Friend in Need, is a Friend indeed.

Whether Lisa's friend or boyfriend is a sankie is not important really.
She likes him and likes to spend time with him.

Lisa is in a very vulnerable situation and leading a difficult life.
Sankies can have a psychotherapeutic value, boost someone's ego, give comfort and 'love' and thus help making life easier.

However, what I would hate to see, is, that somebody takes advantage of Lisa in her problematical situation.

This can indeed happen as sankies have no sense of responsibility whatsoever, they are selfish and calculating with a cold heart.

Lisa, I wish you all the best.

m'frog

 

[jenfau]

thanks

Thanks guys for getting rid of some negative energy.It is good that most are so honest and willing to share info on Sankies it does help and yes some of us do need a head shaken(take that as you may lol) but its nice to listen and learn from others positive too.

 

[caribe_princess]

Yes there is alot of negative energy yet i didnt ask anyone what they thought or if they know him, i was just trying to say something positive about someone, thats all.


well actually i do know alot about him, books no, but i dont know anyone fav book, guess that isnt important to me. I know where he was born where he grew up, i know his parents, and his beautiful daughter, who lives in Santo Domingo with his ex wife. He has a brother in Holland. He has never worked animation, he is a dancer in the evening shows. He doesnt like tradiational Dominican music, his favorite band is U2, he loves rock music and Rave bars.His favorite food is Ice Cream. His best friend and roomate for the last 4 years is Frankie, who just got married to a girl from SD last year. I have never paid for nor been to a cabana. If i want to spend the evening with him i stay at his place.I dont think i have ever paid for his drinks, however he has paid for mine a few times at Time Out in Plaza Bavaro which our friend Jose owns.we like to go there when we want to get away from the resort. I actualy remember I tried to pay for drinks one night while we were out, and he just gave e a look, LOL and i put my money away. I have paid for cabs to his place from my resort when i was meeting up with him, but i also pay for myself here when i want to go see someeone LOL did buy him a watch for his bday this year which i gave him when i went to see him. The only thing i have ever sent him has been pictures of us taken on my trips there.
Anyway Look i am not going to defend my actions, i am a big girl, if things work out with us good, if they dont, they dont, life wont cease to exist. But what i do know is he is my friend, i talk to him like i talk to others here, i care for him like i care for my friends here, i would do for him, no more or less then i would for my friends here.The man has never asked me for 5 cents in all the years i have known him.But people who reach out and make the effort to call and see how my days was or when i get home and he is the first person to call to ask how "his" daughter is after her treatments, yes he calls her his daughter and actually has pictures of both the girls side by side in his wallet.and someone who likes to spend time with me because of me, and not what i can offer them. will always mean something to me, no matter who they are, or where the are from. Anyway, i am not arguing about who is good and who is bad. Thanks for the positive remarks, and i guess for the negative ones also, it just made me realize even more how different he is from others.

Enjoy
Lisa

Lisa

 

[caribe_princess]

Mountain Frog
you are right, it does not matter what he is, however let me jus say that my life is not difficult at all, i most certainly dont need a man to make my life easier LOL and i am not in a vulnerable situation. I am intelligent, hard working lady, who happens to have a big heart and care for others. I would never let a man ruin me hurt me or take me down. Not here in Canada or in the Dominican Republic. My vacations do not even revolve around him, and when i go visit i dont even stay at his resort. My vacation is for me.I stay where i want to stay, he just hapened to work there for years and is somewhere else now. But i dont follow him around, i didnt change where i wanted to stay because he was no longer there.SO say he does turn out someday to be an idiot for argument sake, so be it. My life will not stop, it wil just be another learning experience for me.I will continue to vacation in the Beautiful Dominican Republic and enjoy every minute of it. so in the case that your post was sincere, no need to worry about me. I will make out just fine no matter how things work out.

Lisa

 

[texasgal]

Lisa,
I'm kinda coming in a little late on this thread, but my opinion (as though you even asked for it) is if it makes you feel good, have fun and be happy- go for it.
Like I said in an earlier post, I am a 47 y/o white Texan to the core with a 25 y/o Dominican husband whom had moved to the Bronx as a kid. We met in a chatroom on the internet. There could be no two more different people in this world. I met him when he was 20, we moved in together when he was 21 and we married in May 2005.
Sammy makes me happier than any man I have ever met. And- he still clings to many of his Dominican roots. I am kinda stuck in my traditional southern ways, too. But, I think that is what makes us click.
What I am rambling on about is- I think it is cool that you have someone to chill with when you are down there. He probably looks out for you and keeps the other guys from taking advantage. Friends are hard to come by and it sounds like he is a good friend with benefits.
Sheri

 

[momita]

Hi Lisa
As I said before I really wish you good.I cannot believe in his good intentions And I hate myself for that:ermm: But what can I do?Picture of him is just....too perfect.Sorry!
But you know better.Hopefully you are right in this matter.

Take care
Momita:glasses:

 

[caribe_princess]

Momita, thanks for that, who knows someday you may all be right, and perhaps not, either way, I am still good

 

[vince1956]

Momita, thanks for that, who knows someday you may all be right, and perhaps not, either way, I am still good

Hi lisa i am 50 my domincan wife is 40 we have been married 4 years her sister is 32 her husband is in his 60 tys and not a well man they have been married 12 years all live in the UK and always go to the DR for our hoildays you could get ripped off by a canaden man so does it realey matter who rips us off be happy your only on this earth once get him a 6 month fiance visa then you could always send him back if it does not work if he did want to go to your country that is best off luck sorry to hear about your daughter Vince UK

 

[A.Hidalgo]

Hi lisa i am 50 my domincan wife is 40 we have been married 4 years her sister is 32 her husband is in his 60 tys and not a well man they have been married 12 years all live in the UK and always go to the DR for our hoildays you could get ripped off by a canaden man so does it realey matter who rips us off be happy your only on this earth once get him a 6 month fiance visa then you could always send him back if it does not work if he did want to go to your country that is best off luck sorry to hear about your daughter Vince UK

I know its off subject but do you believe in commas or periods or is your post a stream of consciousness thing.

ps Just thought we needed a break from this HEAVY and DEEP discussion.