I am a single other and this is just my opinion in regards to "supporting" your child. You are there to support the CHILD not the mother. Many Dominican women use these children as a means to go living on easy street. Unless she is taking you to court, pay for everything directly and make sure that the people you are paying acknowledge that YOU are paying.....examples
1.) RENT - get the name of her landlord "due?o". Call him and let him know that you will be paying the rent. Explain to him that you will be paying directly to him, give him your name and telephone number for any issues
2.) FOOD - you are responsible to feed your baby only, not the mother, abuela, tios, tias, and primos. If she will be feeding the baby formula, when you are there buy enough formula to last until your next trip. If you will not be returning for a while gave a friend of yours who lives there take her formula each week. If you have no friends there, last resort is to send un "tanque" from your country. If she will be breastfeeding, send her a small allowance to buy healthy foods, let her know that the money is for food so that she can eat sufficiently and healthy enough to provide breastmilk for the baby.
3.) CLOTHING - provide all of your child's clothing. Please take your mom or sister or other female family member with you to pick the clothes out
Same as with the formula, take the clothes with you in your trips or ship them.
4.) DAYCARE/SCHOOLING - If the mother does not work do not provide daycare. Once the child is in school, be in the country during registration period, YOU register your child with the mother, YOU sign the papers since YOU will pay the bill. Make yourself known to the Principal, school office staff, and your child's teacher. Speak privately or call the principal and let him/her know that you want to be notified WHENEVER your child misses school. Let them know that you are paying the bill and want to be informed. Arrange and pay for the child's transportation. Buy the child's uniforms and school supplies
5.) INSURANCE - Obtain medical, dental, and vision insurance for your child. Also, ask on this forum regarding good a pediatrician, pediatric dentist, and eye doctor in your child's area. Give the mother a sheet of paper with this information on it. Let her know the THESE are the doctors you have elected for your child since you are providing the insurance.
6.) Get your child registered in your country
7.) Visit your child as often as possible. If you are no longer with the mother, have minimal contact with her. DO NOT accept their offers to stay at their home. Get a hotel or take your child to a resort to have fun, do not just go the house to visit....take the child OUT of the environment for a while. Speak to your child in English, especially if the mother doesnt speak it. This way your child will have a better future and he/she will feel safe in talking you via telephone because if something is wrong he/she can tell you in English in case family members are listening
8.) Thank your child's mother often for raising your child. Even if she hates you and yells and curses at you just reply "Te respeto mucho. Muchisimas gracias por criar a mi hijo(a), te agradezco" (my spanish may off but you see the jist of it)
9.) Get a DNA test if you are in doubt
This applies only if the child's mother is the type to use the child for her advantage. There
are Dominican mothers who think of their children first, this dies not apply for them, you should know which type she is. If you think she might take the rent money and get her hair, nails, and toes done then please do what I just suggested and KEEP ALL RECEIPTS AND INFORMATION. With these suggestions there should be NOTHING she should have to call and ask for money for.
If more expats men handled their children by Dominican women this way, maybe less women would be so eager to get knocked up by a gringo, with the family in the background singing "Nos sacamos la loteria!!!"
SHALENA
P.S. Just my opinion, and you know what opinions are like....