Culture questions regarding Commitments.

[jskr1us]

1. Will Dominican women fight to keep a relationship? In the DR? If moved to the US?
2. Does Dominican women ever say I'm sorry? Is she ever sorry?
3. If kicked out (for disrespecting her partner) does she return and try to work things out? In the DR? If moved to the US?
4. If married does a Dominican women respect and feel bound by the vows she takes? Or does she walk away at the first problem presented?
5. Do Dominican women respect agreements and contracts they make?

Questioning cultural differences regarding commitment and would like to get feedback based on general experiences.
:tired:

 

[AnnaC]

OMG! Shouldn't that be based on the personality rather than a whole nation?

Are all Dominicans the same? Are all nationalities the same for that matter?

 

[Onions&carrots]

Serious reply

OMG! Shouldn't that be based on the personality rather than a whole nation?

Are all Dominicans the same? Are all nationalities the same for that matter?

Thats true, Anna, people are the same everywhere. I'll tell that poster a couple of things peculiar to dominicans. I notice an American woman mainly the Midwest ones will be more humble and upfront in a relationship. material goods are of no import in a relationship.

Dominican women by and large will be more interested in their financial well being due to being raised in the 3rd world. Money is very important bc an empty belly and lack of material goods is prevalent in the dr. It doesn't make them gold diggers but the lack thereof forces them to concentrate on finances and relegate the love thing to a zero position.

You won't see dr women weeping and wailing bc some husband left them. Of course exceptions are everywhere but its not the norm. Once in the US and after getting their resident status they might feel empowered. They wont feel the need for any attachments and many feel the urge to go on their own. Don't look at them badly for this.

Its only normal since childhood they have been unable to sustain themselves and feel forced to stay in a marriage bc of financial reasons. Many men in the dr use this to their advantage. Thus if you are a foreigner you present an opportunity for their improvement in life.

Don't feel bad. You are helping an impoverished girl even middle class ones with the current eco. deterioration to live like women in developed nations. Why shouldn't every woman worldwide reach the extent of their potential? You can help achieve this. Never clip her wings but wish her Godspeed and return to the dr to help another girl in need. It is beautiful, no?

 

[Onions&carrots]

Oh I forgot something

To the original post. I get the impression you expect that other (dr woman) to stay indefinitely. Well remember the words of the Lord. It is better to give than to receive. GIVE, GIVE and GIVE. Don't think about any return. If she stays , then she would have shown her appreciation. If she goes, she will always remember you with fondness for the doors you opened up for her. And who knows you may meet again in the future. Fate isn't without a sense of humor.

 

[miguel]

Ay caramba!

1. Will Dominican women fight to keep a relationship? In the DR? If moved to the US?
2. Does Dominican women ever say I'm sorry? Is she ever sorry?
3. If kicked out (for disrespecting her partner) does she return and try to work things out? In the DR? If moved to the US?
4. If married does a Dominican women respect and feel bound by the vows she takes? Or does she walk away at the first problem presented?
5. Do Dominican women respect agreements and contracts they make?

Questioning cultural differences regarding commitment and would like to get feedback based on general experiences.
:tired:

Ok, I see the joke. Is that you Anna with a different nic trying to make a fool out of us?.

Please tell me that it's one of you guys because if this is serious, I will go to my basement, grab some rope and I WILL HANG MYSELF!!!!!

Worse yet, is that you AZB trying to be funny?.

 

[AnnaC]

Ok, I see the joke. Is that you Anna with a different nic trying to make a fool out of us?. .

Honey, I don't need to do that. People do a great job without my help. :laugh:

 

[Badussy]

YOUR ANSWERS ARE IN CAPS.

1. Will Dominican women fight to keep a relationship? In the DR? YES, AS LONG AS YOU ARE A VIABLE SOURCE OF INCOME.If moved to the US? YES AS LONG AS YOU ARE A VIABLE SOURCE OF INCOME, AND HER SHE STILL NEEDS YOUR HELP WITH HER IMMIGRATION STATUS.
2. Does Dominican women ever say I'm sorry? Is she ever sorry? NO THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE
3. If kicked out (for disrespecting her partner) does she return and try to work things out? In the DR? If moved to the US? YES, BUT ONLY AFTER THE MONEY SHE STOLE OF YOURS IS SPENT.
4. If married does a Dominican women respect and feel bound by the vows she takes? Or does she walk away at the first problem presented? YES, SHE WILL STAY IF U ACCEPT ALL THE BLAME.
5. Do Dominican women respect agreements and contracts they make? DEPENDS ON THE CONSEQUENCES.

Questioning cultural differences regarding commitment and would like to get feedback based on general experiences.
:tired:

 

[chuckuindy]

Wow!

Thats true, Anna, people are the same everywhere. I'll tell that poster a couple of things peculiar to dominicans. I notice an American woman mainly the Midwest ones will be more humble and upfront in a relationship. material goods are of no import in a relationship.

Dominican women by and large will be more interested in their financial well being due to being raised in the 3rd world. Money is very important bc an empty belly and lack of material goods is prevalent in the dr. It doesn't make them gold diggers but the lack thereof forces them to concentrate on finances and relegate the love thing to a zero position.

You won't see dr women weeping and wailing bc some husband left them. Of course exceptions are everywhere but its not the norm. Once in the US and after getting their resident status they might feel empowered. They wont feel the need for any attachments and many feel the urge to go on their own. Don't look at them badly for this.

Its only normal since childhood they have been unable to sustain themselves and feel forced to stay in a marriage bc of financial reasons. Many men in the dr use this to their advantage. Thus if you are a foreigner you present an opportunity for their improvement in life.

Don't feel bad. You are helping an impoverished girl even middle class ones with the current eco. deterioration to live like women in developed nations. Why shouldn't every woman worldwide reach the extent of their potential? You can help achieve this. Never clip her wings but wish her Godspeed and return to the dr to help another girl in need. It is beautiful, no?

Very well stated, THANKS

Charlie

 

[Berzin]

To the original post. I get the impression you expect that other (dr woman) to stay indefinitely. Well remember the words of the Lord. It is better to give than to receive. GIVE, GIVE and GIVE. Don't think about any return. If she stays , then she would have shown her appreciation. If she goes, she will always remember you with fondness for the doors you opened up for her. And who knows you may meet again in the future. Fate isn't without a sense of humor.

I have never read a post that is so far off the mark(aside from a few of my own). If she goes, she will resent you for what you did'nt give her and will remember you as the idiot who facilitated her one way ticket out of Loserville. Yeah, right.

 

[jskr1us]

Explanation/Clarification

This thread was started with the above questions in an effort to expand my information and get more input into the Dominican mindset (I do understand that everyone is different). The reason behind it is that I am constantly told that problems are my fault and are caused by communication difficulties and cultural differences. I want to know what these cultural differences are so I can better understand. Thank you

 

[Chirimoya]

I am constantly told that problems are my fault....


.... I want to know what these cultural differences are so I can better understand. Thank you

Some might say that the cultural difference is just that - the alleged Dominican tendency to blame all ills on external factors. Maybe it happens in relationships too?

I have certainly noticed an inability to say sorry, not just in my relationship.

 

[CaptainKirk]

Onions is NOT on the money

Thats true, Anna, people are the same everywhere. I'll tell that poster a couple of things peculiar to dominicans. I notice an American woman mainly the Midwest ones will be more humble and upfront in a relationship. material goods are of no import in a relationship.

Maybe, but most of us do not live in the midwest. A lot of us live in or near urban areas where these women think they are the center of the universe. Humble??? Point one out.

You won't see dr women weeping and wailing bc some husband left them. Of course exceptions are everywhere but its not the norm. Once in the US and after getting their resident status they might feel empowered. They wont feel the need for any attachments and many feel the urge to go on their own. Don't look at them badly for this.

Don't look at them badly you said? WHAT?!?!?!?!? This makes it OK for them to USE you to get here then leave you high and dry? Don't look at them badly? Would you look at a man badly that did this to you? This goes both ways. Do not forget that.

Its only normal since childhood they have been unable to sustain themselves and feel forced to stay in a marriage bc of financial reasons. Many men in the dr use this to their advantage. Thus if you are a foreigner you present an opportunity for their improvement in life.

Yes this is true. No argument with you there.

Don't feel bad. You are helping an impoverished girl even middle class ones with the current eco. deterioration to live like women in developed nations. Why shouldn't every woman worldwide reach the extent of their potential? You can help achieve this. Never clip her wings but wish her Godspeed and return to the dr to help another girl in need. It is beautiful, no?

No. It is not. Not if they are using you then leave you flat. I have no problem helping them, but who wants to be USED? And you seem to be condoning this behavior. If you don't love somebody, don't tell them you do. Do not trick them into believing you are going to spend the rest of your life with them, then leave them for the first piece of meat or money they find in the US. And then go back for MORE you say??? That is kind of twisted. Some of you people want to rip a man's balls off when he behaves like that towards women. You call him names I will not repeat. What makes this behavior ok for the woman? It is the same thing. Just as hurtful. How would you feel if that were to happen to you and then someone were to tell you, just go back and find another one. It's not as simple as you are trying to make it.

 

[Onions&carrots]

To Capt. Kirk, btwThanx Chuck and also thanx Tim.

These are the voyages of the Starship Dominicana. It's 5 year mission to understand dominican women, get married to one and not get a heart attack in the process. To boldly go where no foreigner has gone before. Hehehe, just having fun Capt.

Seriously though, why suffer endlessly to determine whether she is using you or not? If she treats you nicely, says she loves you why go crazy trying to determine the dreaded ulterior motive. Accept what you see. Don't see the el cuco or bogeyman where there is none. For ex. let's say you're married and she is staying out longer than normal. Just ask why. If you don't like it tell her lovingly you want her to be with you more since you feel lonely. I've seen too many marriages within the DR between dominicans blow up due to the male spouse seeing what is not there.

You're gonna see the projection of your own suffering mind. If she plays you for a fool, she is only harming herself. She is deceiving herself not you. You came with good motives and she appeared to also. If she lied to you its her loss. You did help her out by improving her lot in life. So what's wrong with that. Are we to help others only bc we are to gain? Remember sometimes to win you gotta lose.

Then just go back and meet another girl. Look at the positive. You'll get married to another girl and eventually one will stay. Of course this is the worst case scenario. And its not so bad right. At the best you'll meet a girl who will stay with you forever. Let me tell you something. DR women love foreign men not only for economic betterment but bc of the differences. They love american men so don't fret over a couple of dollars.

The keypoint is don't analyze to death a relationship. You will read into her gestures negative connotations which are not there. This will only sour your chances at happiness. So keep it simple. If you feel like a loser, you'll be a loser. Feel like a winner.

 

[rellosk]

The reason behind it is that I am constantly told that problems are my fault and are caused by communication difficulties and cultural differences.

Told by whom?

 

[Onions&carrots]

Humans will latch onto something

This thread was started with the above questions in an effort to expand my information and get more input into the Dominican mindset (I do understand that everyone is different). The reason behind it is that I am constantly told that problems are my fault and are caused by communication difficulties and cultural differences. I want to know what these cultural differences are so I can better understand. Thank you

No. The siginificant other will use whatever is expedient to justify a problem. Don't feel bad. There are tons of problems between dominican spouses. The same types of problems you see in a foreigner/dr relationship. So that's baloney. If you feel love to this person just agree with them and ask them how things can be worked out. Put the onus on them.Let him or her help you find a solution to a problem which they may have created. If you feel it's a deadweight, walk away. Remember if you are a foreigner in the dr, you shine like the sun. All eyes are on you.

 

[CaptainKirk]

The 5 year mission ...

These are the voyages of the Starship Dominicana. It's 5 year mission to understand dominican women, get married to one and not get a heart attack in the process. To boldly go where no foreigner has gone before. Hehehe, just having fun Capt.

Seriously though, why suffer endlessly to determine whether she is using you or not? If she treats you nicely, says she loves you why go crazy trying to determine the dreaded ulterior motive. Accept what you see. Don't see the el cuco or bogeyman where there is none. For ex. let's say you're married and she is staying out longer than normal. Just ask why. If you don't like it tell her lovingly you want her to be with you more since you feel lonely. I've seen too many marriages within the DR between dominicans blow up due to the male spouse seeing what is not there.

You're gonna see the projection of your own suffering mind. If she plays you for a fool, she is only harming herself. She is deceiving herself not you. You came with good motives and she appeared to also. If she lied to you its her loss. You did help her out by improving her lot in life. So what's wrong with that. Are we to help others only bc we are to gain? Remember sometimes to win you gotta lose.

Then just go back and meet another girl. Look at the positive. You'll get married to another girl and eventually one will stay. Of course this is the worst case scenario. And its not so bad right. At the best you'll meet a girl who will stay with you forever. Let me tell you something. DR women love foreign men not only for economic betterment but bc of the differences. They love american men so don't fret over a couple of dollars.

The keypoint is don't analyze to death a relationship. You will read into her gestures negative connotations which are not there. This will only sour your chances at happiness. So keep it simple. If you feel like a loser, you'll be a loser. Feel like a winner.

LOL --- heh, you sound like Counseler Troi drunk on Romulan Ale!

You seem to put a friendly face on this, however I wonder how friendly you would feel if the roles were reversed. If it happened to you. How would you feel if your significant other suddenly started staying out late without explanation. Heh???? You gonna ask them WHY aren't you? And when they tell you you're just being insecure and they start staying out later and later, until finally they don't come home at all ....

You gonna learn from THAT????? Thats how it happens my friend. And when it does happen you will not want to go back --- trust me.

The way to win this game is not to play it. Stop it in its tracks. You simply can not say "its her loss" Even though it is if you take that attitude, they will all leave you one after the other. They will leave you alone and eventually --- broke.

 

[Onions&carrots]

You're a funny guy Capt.

Hehehe, remember Romluan Ale is illegal.

Anyways, that's funny. They'll keep staying out late and later until its so late they don't come back. LMAO, good one touche! Seriously though, most of the women in the DR are perfect, loving, caring housewives. I was just placing the worst case scenario. I met this Cuban guy who's nickname was Donkey. He told me that he had been married 5 times. When he went to the American consulate for his 5th marriage, the consul asked him what was going on. He said he had bad luck with women. The consul also agreed and said he also had bad luck. He stamped his wife's visa and off they went. Granted this is a worst case scenario but shows his determination to see the sunny side of things. So Capt. and all other foreigners, don't hesitate. Get going to the dr and get married. Help others always.

 

[Onions&carrots]

Funny guy this Berzin

If she goes, she will resent you for what you did'nt give her and will remember you as the idiot who facilitated her one way ticket out of Loserville. Yeah, right.

Be happy my friend. Don't perturb yourself with this. If you love her and you feel she loves you what else is there to consider? Isn't love enough?

BTW, what does your name mean?

 

[johne]

In sumarry...

These are the voyages of the Starship Dominicana. It's 5 year mission to understand dominican women, get married to one and not get a heart attack in the process. To boldly go where no foreigner has gone before. Hehehe, just having fun Capt.

Seriously though, why suffer endlessly to determine whether she is using you or not? If she treats you nicely, says she loves you why go crazy trying to determine the dreaded ulterior motive. Accept what you see. Don't see the el cuco or bogeyman where there is none. For ex. let's say you're married and she is staying out longer than normal. Just ask why. If you don't like it tell her lovingly you want her to be with you more since you feel lonely. I've seen too many marriages within the DR between dominicans blow up due to the male spouse seeing what is not there.

You're gonna see the projection of your own suffering mind. If she plays you for a fool, she is only harming herself. She is deceiving herself not you. You came with good motives and she appeared to also. If she lied to you its her loss. You did help her out by improving her lot in life. So what's wrong with that. Are we to help others only bc we are to gain? Remember sometimes to win you gotta lose.

Then just go back and meet another girl. Look at the positive. You'll get married to another girl and eventually one will stay. Of course this is the worst case scenario. And its not so bad right. At the best you'll meet a girl who will stay with you forever. Let me tell you something. DR women love foreign men not only for economic betterment but bc of the differences. They love american men so don't fret over a couple of dollars.

The keypoint is don't analyze to death a relationship. You will read into her gestures negative connotations which are not there. This will only sour your chances at happiness. So keep it simple. If you feel like a loser, you'll be a loser. Feel like a winner.

Isn't this called unconditional love?Works for a lot of people.

JOHN