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Custody of child question
I can tell of a good experience with a child court justice. I lived through the case of where a father, who had never contributed nor lived with the child, wanted her. The child had been brought up by her uncle and aunt since her mother died shortly after the child was born. But the child had an inheritance, that the natural father wanted, so when the child was 7, he took the case to court. The uncle and aunt took the case to court and won the case because the judge ruled it was best for the child to stay with her recognized family. If the father had acted when the child was two years old, he maybe would have won the case. Thus, the recommendation to act now.
In addition to the firms mentioned above (note that Castillo & Castillo is a DR sponsor, and thus will take special care of your cases to get good feedback), I could recommend the lawyers who carried the abovementioned case. Doctora Rosa Batlle and Leticia Jorge, the daughter of former President Salvador Jorge Blanco, who is an expert in child cases. You could ask for a consultation with them, also. I think they know enough to tell you, or find out, if it is worth fighting for.
In addition to the firms mentioned above (note that Castillo & Castillo is a DR sponsor, and thus will take special care of your cases to get good feedback), I could recommend the lawyers who carried the abovementioned case. Doctora Rosa Batlle and Leticia Jorge, the daughter of former President Salvador Jorge Blanco, who is an expert in child cases. You could ask for a consultation with them, also. I think they know enough to tell you, or find out, if it is worth fighting for.
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Update
To those kind enough to offer direction and opinion, I can give the following update:
Several meetings took place between myself and lawyers, evidence including witnesses, photographs, medical reports, etc were put together. A citation to appear before the Tribunal de Menores was issued to the absent mother. When the clerk of the court delivered the citation, the mother was at home for the first time in four months. Whatever the true story of what had transpired in the previous four months, the mother said she was now at home and had been at home caring for our daughter for over a week.
She was not happy to get the citation and she didn't want to go to the fiscal or to see my lawyers. I told her once again the current situation was not acceptable to me and that my daughter deserved and would get a better chance in life.
She repeatedly asked why we couldn't all live together as a family and asked me to give her another chance to be a good wife and mother. In the end, after three days of talks, I agreed to bring both my daughter AND the mother back to live with me.
I am not niave about the odds of success here. I've been in the DR long enough to witness first and second hand plenty of horror stories. But the mother IS the natural mother and if it can work, it's the best thing for all of us as a family.
We are currently on day three. So far, it is going a lot better than I would have ever allowed myself to dream. The mother also says it's going better than she expected. My daughter seems to be adjusting well to her new home.
But, just like in AA, we'll take it one day at a time. One hopeful sign in all this was the mothers reponse when I finally agreed to both of them coming.
"If I am a good mother and wife, in two years, if you are still happy and content with me, will you marry me?"
The fact that she suggested a two year wait time impressed me.
I told her, if we are still together in two years, I will gladly marry her.
So, as of day three, that's the story.
Many thanks for all the feedback and help. DR1 is a great resource. My thanks to those who dreamed it up, to those who made it work, and to those who keep it running and contribute content.
Tranquilogringo
To those kind enough to offer direction and opinion, I can give the following update:
Several meetings took place between myself and lawyers, evidence including witnesses, photographs, medical reports, etc were put together. A citation to appear before the Tribunal de Menores was issued to the absent mother. When the clerk of the court delivered the citation, the mother was at home for the first time in four months. Whatever the true story of what had transpired in the previous four months, the mother said she was now at home and had been at home caring for our daughter for over a week.
She was not happy to get the citation and she didn't want to go to the fiscal or to see my lawyers. I told her once again the current situation was not acceptable to me and that my daughter deserved and would get a better chance in life.
She repeatedly asked why we couldn't all live together as a family and asked me to give her another chance to be a good wife and mother. In the end, after three days of talks, I agreed to bring both my daughter AND the mother back to live with me.
I am not niave about the odds of success here. I've been in the DR long enough to witness first and second hand plenty of horror stories. But the mother IS the natural mother and if it can work, it's the best thing for all of us as a family.
We are currently on day three. So far, it is going a lot better than I would have ever allowed myself to dream. The mother also says it's going better than she expected. My daughter seems to be adjusting well to her new home.
But, just like in AA, we'll take it one day at a time. One hopeful sign in all this was the mothers reponse when I finally agreed to both of them coming.
"If I am a good mother and wife, in two years, if you are still happy and content with me, will you marry me?"
The fact that she suggested a two year wait time impressed me.
I told her, if we are still together in two years, I will gladly marry her.
So, as of day three, that's the story.
Many thanks for all the feedback and help. DR1 is a great resource. My thanks to those who dreamed it up, to those who made it work, and to those who keep it running and contribute content.
Tranquilogringo
Thank you for the update, most people wouldn't have bothered to come back and let us know what happenned.
I wish you the best and hope it goes well. I am in a situation that could (God forbid) turn out similar to yours, but for right now we are also on a day to day basis here in the Dominican Republic.
If I were you I would have prefered fight it out to the end if I felt there was a good chance I would win full custody. Then after fully establishing control of the situation and having all of the cards in my hand, proceed to offer whatever "second chances" I might feel the mother deserved.
I am sure you made the most responsible choices you could given you circumstances which I am sure are unique, I just wonder if, based on my own experience and that of others if the mother might only be holding on to the child in the hopes of bettering her own lifestyle, and if that is the case she seems to have succeeded.
You might want to check with an attorney in your country and find out what your rights would be if things were to go south in the short term, and what your rights would be if they were to go south in two years, and again after the planned wedding. I don't know anything about England but many developed countries are downright matriarchies when it comes to custody issues.
I wish you the best and hope it goes well. I am in a situation that could (God forbid) turn out similar to yours, but for right now we are also on a day to day basis here in the Dominican Republic.
If I were you I would have prefered fight it out to the end if I felt there was a good chance I would win full custody. Then after fully establishing control of the situation and having all of the cards in my hand, proceed to offer whatever "second chances" I might feel the mother deserved.
I am sure you made the most responsible choices you could given you circumstances which I am sure are unique, I just wonder if, based on my own experience and that of others if the mother might only be holding on to the child in the hopes of bettering her own lifestyle, and if that is the case she seems to have succeeded.
You might want to check with an attorney in your country and find out what your rights would be if things were to go south in the short term, and what your rights would be if they were to go south in two years, and again after the planned wedding. I don't know anything about England but many developed countries are downright matriarchies when it comes to custody issues.
MrMike said:Thank you for the update, most people wouldn't have bothered to come back and let us know what happenned.
I wish you the best and hope it goes well. I am in a situation that could (God forbid) turn out similar to yours, but for right now we are also on a day to day basis here in the Dominican Republic.
If I were you I would have prefered fight it out to the end if I felt there was a good chance I would win full custody. Then after fully establishing control of the situation and having all of the cards in my hand, proceed to offer whatever "second chances" I might feel the mother deserved.
I am sure you made the most responsible choices you could given you circumstances which I am sure are unique, I just wonder if, based on my own experience and that of others if the mother might only be holding on to the child in the hopes of bettering her own lifestyle, and if that is the case she seems to have succeeded.
You might want to check with an attorney in your country and find out what your rights would be if things were to go south in the short term, and what your rights would be if they were to go south in two years, and again after the planned wedding. I don't know anything about England but many developed countries are downright matriarchies when it comes to custody issues.
Mr Mike, no wonder your love life is in such a sorry state. You are approaching it all wrong:
...If I were you I would have prefered fight it out to the end...
this works in war, but love has it's own secret WMDs ;-)
...Then after fully establishing control of the situation and having all of the cards in my hand...
This may get you somewhere in your poker game, but in love, your dead man's hand will be trumped by a full of hearts! ;-)
You might want to check with an attorney in your country and find out what your rights would be ... in the short term, and what your rights would be...
You're doing great here, in managing your business investments, but in love you will be short on dividends! ;-)
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Your story brought tears to my eyes. Your girlfriend is, indeed, a very lucky woman. Many men would've given up, and even refused to continue to support this woman. Best of luck to all of you, and thank you for thinking of the best interests of the child. I'm sure that if it's meant to work, it will. We're hoping for you!
Mirador said:Mr Mike, no wonder your love life is in such a sorry state. You are approaching it all wrong:
this works in war, but love has it's own secret WMDs ;-)
This may get you somewhere in your poker game, but in love, your dead man's hand will be trumped by a full of hearts! ;-)
You're doing great here, in managing your business investments, but in love you will be short on dividends! ;-)
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Mirador, you are probably right, however I am not really that concerned with romantic love, I just want to be able to carry on a relationship that at least fakes through the motions of mutual respect and common decency for the sake of the children involved.
I am a little bit sociopathic in that I am not dependant on anyone else's affection or approval. My wife has been forcing me to dance all over the place and jump through hoops just to avoid dramatic outbursts and I'm just tired of it all, it's pretty much my way or the highway from here on out.
If she wants my love she can have it but she's going to have to jump through her own hoops and a few of mine to get it, it's her turn and I honestly don't care what she decides.
Mr. Mike,
I think all these situations are indeed unique and giving advice to others is always difficult.
Your comment regarding concluding the case first then offering second chances is well taken. That road was seriously considered as it may well prove to have been the wisest, safest course.
However, I would have needed to be tough with the mother through the process, in effect, to some degree, burning bridges before repairing them.
In the end, I figured under the circumstances, even if the chances of success with the mother were only 3%, I'll give her the chance. If she walks, she will walk from my daughter as well.
I hope your situation works out well for the children. Most adults can take the hit. Children rely on wise protective parents to make the right decisions.
One item I considered in my case was to cease the monthly flow of cash to the mother and take needed items directly to my daughter. According to several lawyers, this can be completely legal if done correctly with excellent book-keeping.
I think all these situations are indeed unique and giving advice to others is always difficult.
Your comment regarding concluding the case first then offering second chances is well taken. That road was seriously considered as it may well prove to have been the wisest, safest course.
However, I would have needed to be tough with the mother through the process, in effect, to some degree, burning bridges before repairing them.
In the end, I figured under the circumstances, even if the chances of success with the mother were only 3%, I'll give her the chance. If she walks, she will walk from my daughter as well.
I hope your situation works out well for the children. Most adults can take the hit. Children rely on wise protective parents to make the right decisions.
One item I considered in my case was to cease the monthly flow of cash to the mother and take needed items directly to my daughter. According to several lawyers, this can be completely legal if done correctly with excellent book-keeping.
Tranquilogringo,i hope all goes well ,for your daughters future,i have not seen my 2 girls for nearly one year,all because off british law,and mainly the mother; knows she has the power.IF the law was of the same (DR)mabee i would see them! i know they want too see me.I have the best solicitors,but no judge will incarcerate a woman with 2 young children for contempt of court!FULL STOP!
tranquilogringo said:Mr. Mike,
I think all these situations are indeed unique and giving advice to others is always difficult.
Your comment regarding concluding the case first then offering second chances is well taken. That road was seriously considered as it may well prove to have been the wisest, safest course.
However, I would have needed to be tough with the mother through the process, in effect, to some degree, burning bridges before repairing them.
In the end, I figured under the circumstances, even if the chances of success with the mother were only 3%, I'll give her the chance. If she walks, she will walk from my daughter as well.
I hope your situation works out well for the children. Most adults can take the hit. Children rely on wise protective parents to make the right decisions.
One item I considered in my case was to cease the monthly flow of cash to the mother and take needed items directly to my daughter. According to several lawyers, this can be completely legal if done correctly with excellent book-keeping.
I am sure you made the best choice available in your circumstances, I hope it goes well for you.
Primary custody of a child
I know that having the custody of a child is really a big deal as it consists of having valid and sufficient gud reasons to raise up the child in a proper manner. As you can see in the link (http://www.iwishisaidno.com/forum/381-primary-custody-child.html), the primary custody of the child usually goes to a mother because it is said that a mother can replace a father in most circumstances, and NOT vice-versa.
I know that having the custody of a child is really a big deal as it consists of having valid and sufficient gud reasons to raise up the child in a proper manner. As you can see in the link (http://www.iwishisaidno.com/forum/381-primary-custody-child.html), the primary custody of the child usually goes to a mother because it is said that a mother can replace a father in most circumstances, and NOT vice-versa.
Time rolls on. An update to this thread.
I lived with my daughter and the biological mother for two years. We tried hard to make it work. The mother also tried hard at least for awhile. But it was hopeless. After two years I gave up on the mother. There was no trust. When the mother left she took my daughter with her.
Within weeks my daughter was again handed off to a revolving wheel of neighbors, grandma and sisters.
We were back to square one.
After several months of negotiation, while putting together a legal case for custody, the mother agreed to let our daughter come and live with me.
I was a single dad with my daughter for the following two years. It wasn't easy but it was a labor of love.
My daughter has now lived with me for the last five years. I have a new good wife (together for three years) who is a great mother and role model for my daughter.
My daughter is now eight years old. She goes to a good private school, speaks fluent English and Spanish, and has a British passport.
I think her future now looks a lot brighter. It's been a long hard road for both of us but it's been worth it.
I lived with my daughter and the biological mother for two years. We tried hard to make it work. The mother also tried hard at least for awhile. But it was hopeless. After two years I gave up on the mother. There was no trust. When the mother left she took my daughter with her.
Within weeks my daughter was again handed off to a revolving wheel of neighbors, grandma and sisters.
We were back to square one.
After several months of negotiation, while putting together a legal case for custody, the mother agreed to let our daughter come and live with me.
I was a single dad with my daughter for the following two years. It wasn't easy but it was a labor of love.
My daughter has now lived with me for the last five years. I have a new good wife (together for three years) who is a great mother and role model for my daughter.
My daughter is now eight years old. She goes to a good private school, speaks fluent English and Spanish, and has a British passport.
I think her future now looks a lot brighter. It's been a long hard road for both of us but it's been worth it.
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Good for you and good for her. I too put up a fight with my , lets say, not so honest ex-wife and won. I have custody of our 4 year old for about 1.5 years now.
The message is that it is possible , with a caring and honest DOMINICAN lawyer and pressure in the right places.
The message is that it is possible , with a caring and honest DOMINICAN lawyer and pressure in the right places.