Is he a sanky? LADIES ONLY TO POST

[Aguaita29]

Hi

I have spent time on this (and other) websites reading about sankys. Last year I travelled to Punta Cana and met a hotel worker. We hit it off right away but Im now worried he could be a sanky.

He told me very fast that he loved me. He called me his wife/his love. He told me his phone was broken and also that he had lost his job, but he got the job back the very next week. I have visited him 3 times in the last year and on the 3rd visit he took me to his mothers house. Now he is saying his mother is in the hospital. I have never sent any money. We are now currently having unprotected sex when I visit as we both think having a baby together would be nice. I am not sure to be worried or not. Does anyone have any experience in a situation like this?

He sounds like a sanky. He is asking you for money indirectly, which works well in your case, as you don't feel you're being asked for money. As a hotel worker, he must meet foreign women all year long , and he probably "hits it off" right away with many them too.

 

[Donnad722]

There is no way to find out if it is a visa scam - you will only find that out when he arrives in your country after you are married so you need to take your time before it ever gets to that stage. It might be worth telling us where you are from, where he works, what he does, where he is from and what the age difference is.

The only advice I can give is just to take things easy and slow. There is something called AIDS. Dont be so quick to get laid. There are many sweet talkers out there. It is good to play hard to get until you know more.

 

[Baranda]

.....

 

[sylindr]

Well I think I know the answer but I guess I didn't want to believe it. I was just at a loss that he had never asked for money. Ever. From most posts that I had read this was uncommon. Most guys asked for money. Even when he said he lost his job and his mother was sick, he never wanted money. 

I knew a Canadian girl who married her Sanky. I warned her a few times because he always had very expensive clothing and Jewelry yet she never sent money, and he would pay for a lot of stuff. She would tell me he made very good money at the resort but I tried to convince her that even good money would not allow him to own what he owned but because he never asked her for money she believed him. The got married and she took him to Canada, he was not there a month and fell asleep one night without closing his MSN messenger, when she got up he say numerous women who he was chatting with, two that he was actually engaged to. She contacted these women and was devastated. Needless to say she shipped him back to DR and he messaged and called her for 2 years trying to get back together. So not only because he doesn't ask for money does it mean he's not working on your trust to get a visa or whatever in the future, you have to keep irons in the fire to keep that money flame burning

 

[sylindr]

Thanks for your answers, I do agree with you. But what do you think about the fact that he hasn't asked for money? 
We tried to get him a tourist visa, but he was denied. We're applying again and Im trying to decide whether to take a risk with this guy. He has never asked for money and has said that he wouldn't leave the DR. 
Im definitely open to the idea that it isn't real. But I just want to make sure Im not throwing away a good guy out of fear after reading some horror stories. 

Do you speak Spanish? How much time have you actually spent with him not on a resort? There are lots and lots of red flags besides asking for money.

 

[sylindr]

He is learning English and I'll begin learning Spanish in 2 weeks time. I'll be spending 3 weeks in February/ March with him and am hoping to spend all of April in Punta Cana with him. I guess Im stuck on the idea that theres a chance he isn't just after a visa. I was hoping maybe someone had experience in these situations and knew a way to find out if it was a visa scam. Most posts that I read said to stop sending money, but I never sent any money to begin with. 

Thanks so much for your responses and time. I really appreciate it.

try spending your 3 weeks living without spending $$. No parties at night, bars etc, see how long he wants to spend his evenings quietly at home.... When you come for a few weeks, its vacation and a lot of fun, and you pay for everything

 

[Catseye]

the good ones don’t need to actually ask for money while still sucking you dry

it’s not just the guy but also you get emotionally involved with the family and you feel like getting them stuff they really need

it’s hard not to, I buy stuff for my Dominican friends all the time

if you aren’t there they will find another way to get stuff, it’s mostly just a big show for you anyway, playing on your sympathy and desire to do what’s right for people in need

you’re young so I can understand you falling for this, it’s the sanky stories about women in their fifties and sixties that completely blow my mind

 

[KateP]

Good for you for asking. A lot of women see the signs but prefer to stick their heads in the sand and convince themselves that he's THE ONE and he could NEVER be cheating on her. Many young men in the DR get jobs in hotels specifically to hook up with foreigners so they can eventually get $$, gifts, visas and whatnot from them. They're really good at what they do and can lie thru their teeth sooo well. He might not have asked you for money yet but just the fact that you're flying down again is a big expense for you. I would really suggest you tell him before leaving that paying for the trip has used up all your available funds and that you won't have any cash left to go out while you're here. Might make him show his true colors, or not. After all, money grows on trees outside the DR.

 

[anng3]

Just read your first post.  You are justifying this relationship too much.  He is a Sanky.  Have you heard of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies? Better to find someone in your home country or another guest at the resort than someone working at the resort.  Was just at a resort here.  Many woman fawning over the employees while I saw many male guests eating alone. Just something to consider.

 

[debinatore]

are you willing to post his resort, name and photo on the facebook page to find out for sure? Someone WILL know him if he is indeed a sankie and/or involved with other women.

 

[Matilda]

are you willing to post his resort, name and photo on the facebook page to find out for sure? Someone WILL know him if he is indeed a sankie and/or involved with other women.

She did post the information and she did find her answer. Thread closed.