Dear Diary:
May 30th:
Just moved to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic from up New York City. Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to
the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and
****s. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot
as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in house
payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
August 4th:
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman ****ed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
August 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" in Spanish, I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny in Spanish. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so might as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this
damn heat.
August 15th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 105 today. Forgot to crack the
window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to
fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the
$1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Santo Domingo What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
May 30th:
Just moved to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic from up New York City. Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But getting used to
the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson
though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery.
I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and
****s. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot
as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in house
payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
August 4th:
It's 105 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman ****ed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
August 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?" in Spanish, I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire. I lost two
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn
recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny in Spanish. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert?? Water rationing will be next, so might as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus can't live in this
damn heat.
August 15th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 105 today. Forgot to crack the
window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The installer came to
fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the
$1500 house payment to bail me out of jail. Freaking Santo Domingo What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
