I apologize for coming into this thread so late in the evening but i have been busy fending off a species of females that hang out in sosua--the likes of which i can only compare to a cross between a vampire and a Lycon. Allow me to count down the pros and cons of both cities in no particualr order.
Sosua;
1. Lycons and vampires come out at night to feed off the fresh blood of unsuspecting tourists. they're so profecient at sucking your blood that they have been known to rifle through your pockets while at the same time extracting the fillings in your mouth. no, really, they're that professional!
2. The mosquitos that come down from the surrounding mountains of sosua have been known to carry off small childrena and rodents. the mosquitos come down in swarms from the surrounding hills to suck as much blood as they can carry in their bellys and still make lift-off.
3. Yes, the beer and drinks are chepaer in sosua, however, one is left with either the concrete wall on the other side of the street to stare at for hours on end, or toothless females that parade up and down the streets who have invested all of their money on hair products, nail polish, beauty saloons, and perfume...and sadly no money on dental work or razors.
4. Sosua is a hub of rocket scientists whom have retired after a long career of sitting around doing nothing more than waiting for someone in the family with money to pass away, or from a recent payout from an insurance policy, or a workers compensation claim, or a divorce settlement that paid generous dividends.
5. Sosua is a hotbed of seedy characters whom would give fodder and muse to writers like Steinbeck, Hemingway, Karouac, and Ginsberg.
6. On several occassions, throughout any given night, the devil himself can be seen running out of town with his tail between his legs as a result of all the competition for debauchery, excessive indulgence of sensual pleasures, and seductions from morality.
Cabarete;
1. People here have been known to throw themselves over puddles to help strangers stay dry, safe, and secure.
2. Cabarete citizens have been known to live an extra 10 years of extended lives as a result of healthier drinking water, more profecient use of soap, and a significant increase of smoking better quality catnip.
3. Cabarete citizens have better teeth, healthier skin glow, and are known to light up the night sky like Day-Glo.
4. Cabarete citizens have been studied by respected social anthropologists--the likes of Jared Diamond and other well known social anthropologists--who have come down here and discovered that cabarete citizens sport better hair-do's, shinier hair, better hygiene, less sexual diseases, better sex lives, and just better over all healthier contagious postive, tenacious attitudes and dispositions.
Some rocket scientists just walked into the bar...i have to go now...i will finish this later.
Love Frank
