Typical dominicana or anomaly? Thoughts from the DR1 veterans

[The Watcher]

Well put Mauricio. I meant no offense. You have a valid point.

 

[keepcoming]

Based on everything you have posted I say you have nothing to lose. Many women when they get to her age are done with the bulls*t. They can provide for themselves and their children if need be. You never know this could be the one. Good Luck

 

[chic]

100$ she carried your bag? did other things to you for you... what if she just asked you for a hundred/ lucky she didnt ask you at another time when you {wood} be most agreeable...if you know....catch the drift...
wake up life costs $..
im taking a lady to lunch tomorrow and although i have given her $ for friendship in the past...services etc...imm paying for lunch....no strings attached only that we are friends...
if she asked for c note id write a check to the lawyer....
your not thinking with the right head....

 

[The Watcher]

Back up and read one of my earlier replies chic. The $100 wasn't the issue. It was a matter of principal of what it was being asked for that I had an issue with. Ive have done many nice things for both her and her family that I was not asked to do.

 

[keepcoming]

I would tend to agree with Watcher. Giving money to help with her divorce just isn't something you involve yourself with. Her divorce, her issue. Might sound cold but I see nothing wrong for his reason saying no.

 

[chic]

wow dont be so mean with a bit of money....as it seems to be...

 

[LTSteve]

Hello DR1ers. 1st and foremost I would like to begin this post by saying this is not another "but this one is different" posts that I have read here before by men involved with dominican women.But more of an observation of a woman I have been involved with in DR for about 2 years now. I am curious on hearing the thoughts of other DR1 members with dating experience outside of the typical chica's found on the island. 1st off, there is not a huge age difference here. I am 42,she is 37 and we both come from similar economic back grounds. We both grew up poor but thru our own individual perseverance and hard work managed to make something better of our lives. She is educated, speaks english well,recently got a degree in marketing and is employed. She works for a US company and gets commission in US $ and does well for her self by dominican standards. I am audio engineer and far from rich, but I do ok for myself and for reference sake I'll also admit that I am in a much better place financially that I have led to this woman to believe.

I have traveled to DR on quite a few occasions and hung out with women there, so before meeting her, I was already very familiar with the pitfalls of getting serious with many of the dominicana's on the island and choose not to do so. Therefore from the beginning of our friendship, I have always been very guarded and have made a conscious effort to test the waters with this woman so to speak at every given opportunity. So anyway, 2 years ago I meet this woman on her job on one of my trips, we exchange contact info and begin skyping each other daily. We become friends, months pass, I see her again on the next trip and she asks me to come visit again but this time to spend time strictly with her. I tell her, I may be able to come for a few days but can't afford more than a few days at a resort or hotel,so she tells me thats fine and that she trusts me so the remaining time there I am welcome to stay at her home. I ask her what type of clothing does her two teenage boys from a previous marriage like to wear, because I would like to bring them something nice in return for the hospitality she's willing to show me. She abruptly denies this offer and ask's me, Why?" It is not your responsibility."

I arrive in DR and she meets me at the airport. I inquire about getting currency exchanged and she tells me I have had a long trip and that I shouldn't worry about that until the next day. She pays for the cab and takes me out to have a dominican breakfast which she also gladly pays for. She notices that my carry bag looks heavy and asks can she carry it for me. Cool start. Next day we set out for Puerto Plata. As we are hanging out she tells me" Look. I know that you don't have alot of money.I understand.You work very hard for your money just like I do. Many of the women here do not work, so they do not understand the value of money.I just want you to know that during our time together if there is anything that is too expensive please let me know.I will either help pay or we can do something else less expensive." I think to myself "Oh she's good....." We have a great time and I return to the states. Upon our next convo she asks me "So now am I your girlfriend?" I tell her that I like her a lot but the distance may be a problem for anything serious this soon but i would like to continue seeing her and see what happens. I also tell her during this conversation about a possible future relationship that I have no intentions what so ever of ever marrying a woman from the DR and bringing her to the states. She seems unphased by this and we continue getting to know each other.

Fast forward. I visit numerous more times,stay at her home on all visits and have a good relationship with her kids, so i guess you can say that she is my girlfriend at this point. Now, here it comes. Money. Has she ever asked me for money? Yes. But only once. Her story was that she was trying to finalize some paperwork on her divorce and needed $600. $500 of which she already has, but needed an extra $100 for the balance. I told her Im sorry but I will not support helping to finance ANY woman's divorce. Thats just something I will not do.She seemed a little ****ed but the next day everything was back to normal and she never brought it up again.

Recently, she put me in contact with a gentleman who is the director of operations for one of the cruise ship lines that does biz in the DR. It turns out that he was looking to fill a sound technician position and was having trouble finding good candidates on the island. So I find myself in the position of possibly moving out there for a while to work in my career field, which will of course give she and I the opportunity to really get to learn each other in a different capacity. I am interested in insight from the experiences of others from both sides of the fence. The negative and the positive when it comes to maintaining a serious relationship with a dominican woman.Ive dated and fooled around with many of them there in the past but never tried to have anything serious with one. Im already familiar with all the horror stories about the quote/ unquote "typical dominican women" who take guys that don't know any better to the cleaners. This woman seems be be alot sharper than those types. Any thoughts?

Based on the "facts" as you have detailed them I would say she is worth the time and effort. She does not seem like the typical Dominicana because she is not. She is bi-lingual and making good money in the DR. She seems level headed with few alternative motives of a bad nature. No matter what the relationship is there will always be peaks and valleys and an agenda of some type. By agenda I really don't mean this to have a negative conotation. Maybe this is not a good word to use but you have certain expectations and so do she as the relationship develops. Many Dominician women are not fond of the work habits and personal beliefs of Dominican Men. She seems to think she has found a better alternative and is not asking much, so far, in return. My gut feeling is that you have a "keeper" and I would do what I can to help this relationship stay on the right track.
I am not a relationship counselor but I play one on the net. Buenos Suarte.

 

[The Watcher]

Thanks for the advice. I agree. Everyone has an agenda so to speak when it comes to expectations in a relationship.

 

[Bronxboy]

Thanks for the advice. I agree. Everyone has an agenda so to speak when it comes to expectations in a relationship.

Well I see you have a keeper based on the current consensus.

Congrats!!! We do not get too many threads like this. You have done the impossible IMO on the Mars/Venus forum. Most of the posters agreed and were nice about it.

Give us an update later in the future. For now, good luck................