Wining and Dining .... and then what?

[amy2761]

I've been meaning to ask this question for a while ... I've read all the threads where the guy say "I'm a man and I pay" or "it's what a gentleman does". Here's my question, if a guy always pays when you go out as a couple or in a group and you're NOT having sex with him, then how do you show your appreciation? (What are some of the ways that women have shown you that they appreciate you in other words).

I've always been one to pick up half the tab, or he pays once and I pay next time .... just my way I guess.

Stay well,
Amy

 

[jackquontee]

Offer to cook him dinner. Or, offer to do something that doesn't require anything of you but your time. Maybe he has an errand to run but doesn't have time, and it is on your way to a particular location. Offer to take care of it for him. Simple things. At least for me.

 

[Malibook]

Amy, you are like a breath of fresh air in a smoky bar.:classic:

I don't know why you emphasize the "NOT having sex" as it seems to imply that sex is somehow something a woman gives to a man as opposed to something that is mutually enjoyable.

As Jack says, simple things that show you are kind and considerate.

Jack made some great points in this recent thread.
http://dr1.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44675

I love it when a woman gives a sincere offer to pay or pitch in or buys me a drink and presents.
It has nothing to do with the money.
It is the thought that counts even if I am buying her hundreds of times more drinks, meals, presents, or whatevers.
These are the women that deserve to be treated like a princess.:classic:

 

[amy2761]

Mailbook - I was hoping to avoid replies that stated things along the lines of "just have sex with him" lol, not my intention to imply that it's a one-sided thing at all.

Thanks for the suggestions Tony.


Amy

 

[AZB]

I've been meaning to ask this question for a while ... I've read all the threads where the guy say "I'm a man and I pay" or "it's what a gentleman does". Here's my question, if a guy always pays when you go out as a couple or in a group and you're NOT having sex with him, then how do you show your appreciation? (What are some of the ways that women have shown you that they appreciate you in other words).

I've always been one to pick up half the tab, or he pays once and I pay next time .... just my way I guess.

Stay well,
Amy

Next time tell him: "enough of this wining and dining...lets cut the bull, I want to go to a cabana and give you the time of your life....'. Only this way you will really show your appreciation to the guy.
If anyone tells you "cook him a meal.....take him to theater...etc" is gay and sissy. All real men want sex from beautiful women. Lets not kid ourselves. No wonder dominican women rip off sissy men who want to treat women like equals and want to show their real appreciation by treating them like damas and not forcing sex. In DR, if you don't initiate sexual advaces towards a woman, you are considered a maricon (fag).
simple as that.
Amy, just take the guy to bed and get it over with. If he is too ugly, don't let him pay, better yet, don't even go out with him. Don't waste his time or yours.
Just do the right thing.
AZB

 

[dawnwil]

Azb

How are sales going on your new book, can't quite remember the name, but the collected wisdom from your newspaper column, Dear Afty?

Your wisdom just takes my breath away!

 

[jackquontee]

If anyone tells you "cook him a meal.....take him to theater...etc" is gay and sissy.
AZB

AZB, let me tell you something, and I'm only going to tell you once. I don't care how you talk to/about others on this board as it's not my job to play defender for other people. But since I am the one who mentioned the idea of cooking a dinner for the guy, and since you're the one who stated that whomever suggests this is gay and a sissy, I have to assume you're referring to me.

Don't you ever talk to or about me in that way again. Often times I've wanted to respond to some of the comments you've made on this board that I thought were ridiculous, to say the least, but I held my tongue. I strongly suggest you do the same. You claim to know so much about Hispanic culture. If that were true, then I would assume that you know what kind of response those idiotic comments could get you.

Moderator, if what I've had to say is cause for me to be removed from the site, I can accept that, and I'll quietly move along. But, what I won't do is to allow someone to disrespect me, and so openly at that.

I've got nothing more to say.

 

[Robert]

Dear Afty...

I cooked a meal last night for a girl.
She was beautiful, 22 and a real keeper.
Please clarify my social status?

 

[amy2761]

Next time tell him: "enough of this wining and dining...lets cut the bull, I want to go to a cabana and give you the time of your life....'. Only this way you will really show your appreciation to the guy.
If anyone tells you "cook him a meal.....take him to theater...etc" is gay and sissy. All real men want sex from beautiful women. Lets not kid ourselves. No wonder dominican women rip off sissy men who want to treat women like equals and want to show their real appreciation by treating them like damas and not forcing sex. In DR, if you don't initiate sexual advaces towards a woman, you are considered a maricon (fag).
simple as that.
Amy, just take the guy to bed and get it over with. If he is too ugly, don't let him pay, better yet, don't even go out with him. Don't waste his time or yours.
Just do the right thing.
AZB

Aftab - you really have a knack for rubbing people the wrong way ... I hope the glint of a good person I saw in you wasn't just sand in my eye.

Rude (IMO) as your response was, it speaks volumes about the company you keep and about you - I appreciate your honesty.

So, let me see if I understand correctly ..... if he's ugly then don't even go out with him? :ermm: What if he's beautiful? Then go out with him? I'd hate for people to go out/not go out with me because I'm pretty/ugly. It may help with physical attraction but it shouldn't be the basis of a relationship.

Stay well,
Amy

 

[Chirimoya]

Jackquontee, chill. Once you've been here for a while you learn to take AZB's posts as a caricature. He was saying, in his inimitable, hyperbolic way what some Dominicans (the type of people he consorts with, not all Dominicans) think. Taking offence at being called 'gay' is just as immature as these attitudes IMO.
Good lord, I've just defended AZB. What next.

 

[Larry]

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with cooking dinner for a girl or her cooking one for you whether there is sex involved or you are just friends or whatever. BUT, if a guy is taking you out AND paying, he is looking to get laid. If you have no intention of sleeping with him, pay your way or at least tell him something like, "that was very nice of you, next time, my treat". Why would you continue to let a guy pay your way if there is no "relationship" evolving and why would a guy continue to pay for you if he does not think it is developing into something more than friends? Seriously.

If I go out with a girl on a date I pay, ALWAYS. But, if we are just friends, she should pay her way.

Larry

 

[AZB]

Ok, I am sorry. I may have been rude in my response to some folks. But larry is right, if a guy is paying, especially a dominican who doesn't make enough to buy wine and shrimps, then it doesn't take a genious to figure out that he wants something more than freindly talk. This is something women take for granted, "I am a woman so therefore I am sacred and he should treat me like a princes...". The domican guys or any guy who invests time and money into dating beautiful women wants sex as well. There is nothing wrong with having sex with beautiful women. We, in USA, have been taught to think like pariguayos. We treat women like goddesses and give them too much respect, to a point where any sort of sexual advances towards a woman is considered rude and perversive. No wonder the hungry women are coming here by the plane loads and sleeping with cheap ghetto sankies and marrying them. The american males are coming here and marrying carwash hookers.
To jack: you might not have liked my answer but the dominican mentality is as follows: If a girl goes out on a date with you, you spend money and time and after a while you still don't make sexual advances towards her, she will think you are gay. This is the reality in DR. I didn't mean to call you sissy but my tongue slips and I realy mean no harm to anyone.
Now amy, please, be real. What do you think this guy wants from you in return? I am sure he would appreciate delicious home cooked meal but if you add good sex to equation, he will go home a really happy man and remember you for a long time.
AZB

 

[amy2761]

Ok, I am sorry. I may have been rude in my response to some folks. But larry is right, if a guy is paying, especially a dominican who doesn't make enough to buy wine and shrimps, then it doesn't take a genious to figure out that he wants something more than freindly talk.

Ok - now, who said he doesn't have enough money to buy wine and shrimp? This is someone I am dating afterall LOL in fact, he's more likely to get Maine Lobster shipped down for a special dinner than settle for shrimp from here.

This is something women take for granted, "I am a woman so therefore I am sacred and he should treat me like a princes...". The domican guys or any guy who invests time and money into dating beautiful women wants sex as well. There is nothing wrong with having sex with beautiful women.

We've only met once so I'm not going to take offense to this, those of you who know me know that this is not the case - I'm not looking for generalizations here, we have more than enough of that on the board as it is.
As to a Dominican man 'investing' time and money for sex - that's a pretty way of saying he's looking for a prostitute. No, there is nothing wrong with having sex with a beautiful woman, but if spending money on her is the only way you can get in her pants then there is something wrong with it (IMO).

We, in USA, have been taught to think like pariguayos. We treat women like goddesses and give them too much respect, to a point where any sort of sexual advances towards a woman is considered rude and perversive. No wonder the hungry women are coming here by the plane loads and sleeping with cheap ghetto sankies and marrying them. The american males are coming here and marrying carwash hookers.

It's your problem if you choose to associate yourself with the 'mainstream' or sheep that follow the path in that respect. There are plenty of people out there who don't .... all you have to do is find them.

Now amy, please, be real. What do you think this guy wants from you in return? I am sure he would appreciate delicious home cooked meal but if you add good sex to equation, he will go home a really happy man and remember you for a long time.
AZB

We've already know each other for a long time so I'm sure he won't forget me anytime soon but why would I want to be just a good fling in the sack?

Why would you continue to let a guy pay your way if there is no "relationship" evolving and why would a guy continue to pay for you if he does not think it is developing into something more than friends? Seriously.

Maybe it is??

Back to my question: if a guy always pays when you go out as a couple or in a group and you're NOT having sex with him, then how do you show your appreciation? (What are some of the ways that women have shown you that they appreciate you in other words).

Stay well,
Amy

 

[Nelly]

From a woman's perspective, I have to agree. If he is always paying, then he is looking for something more than friends. If your interest in him is only friends then you might want to consider paying your own way. If you are still in the get to know you phase, then I'd cook him dinner or help him with errands or buy him a small gift.

Nelly

 

[Larry]

From a woman's perspective, I have to agree. If he is always paying, then he is looking for something more than friends. If your interest in him is only friends then you might want to consider paying your own way.

Nelly

What Nelly said..........


Larry

 

[AZB]

From a woman's perspective, I have to agree. If he is always paying, then he is looking for something more than friends. If your interest in him is only friends then you might want to consider paying your own way. If you are still in the get to know you phase, then I'd cook him dinner or help him with errands or buy him a small gift.

Nelly

Amy maybe living the soap opera life but nelly sure sees things the way they are.
AMY, I am a guy and I know thousand more guys than you will ever meet. Please don't lecture me on guys and how they think. I know whom I socialize with, but judging from what I see, whom foreign women date, is not so much to be proud of.
you wanted an answer to your question on open forum, and you are getting it. But like a typical woman you don't like something which you don't want to hear. You just wanted approval and some sweet feminine talk from others. but no dear, I know guys very well. Guy act one way when they are in the company of a woman and totally differently when they are sitting among other men.
AZB

 

[AZB]

Ok - As to a Dominican man 'investing' time and money for sex - that's a pretty way of saying he's looking for a prostitute. No, there is nothing wrong with having sex with a beautiful woman, but if spending money on her is the only way you can get in her pants then there is something wrong with it (IMO). Amy

There you go, you can never win an argument from a woman.
if you let her pay on a date, then you are a cheap bastard, not a gentleman and chances are she will not go out with you anymore. Now if you pay for her then she says, I am not going to sleep with you becuase I am not a prostitute. Its another way of saying, Pay for me, wine & dine me, we can be friends as long as non of your body parts touch any of my body parts.
Now amy, you think we are really that stupid? You don't think we also see the game you women are playing? Pleaseeeeee, amy, this may work on guys in USA or south africa but this cheap physhology 101 doesn't fly here.
You go out on a date with a man, he pays and invests his time on you, guess what, he doesn't want to talk about ozone layers or green house effects on this planet.
AZB

 

[AnnaC]

It sounds like this is someone Amy knows but is going out with for the first time. I don't think she needs to jump in bed with the guy only because he bought her a meal.

It might develop into a relationship but at this point she doesn't know and is asking what can she do besides jumping in bed.

Did I get that right Amy?

To add;
he may be the kind of guy that will never ask her out again if she does sleep with him on the first date.

You never know.

 

[Berzin]

Why do we have to be so cordial about this?

How about this-why would you freeload meals off a guy and get upset that someone on this forum thinks that you should reciprocate in the sack? That has nothing to do with you acting like a working girl-it's just how it is.

Pay for your own meals when you go out together and the problem is solved. If this proves to be too much of a dilemma for you, don't go out with him.

 

[HOWMAR]

Here's my question, if a guy always pays when you go out as a couple or in a group and you're NOT having sex with him, then how do you show your appreciation?

Can we use Bill Clinton's definition for "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."?