I don't know if anyone has gone thru this but here goes. I have a child in the dominican republic, the mother and I divorced. I live in the United States and my daughter and the mother live in the Dominican Republic. I have been supporting my child including paying for a condo that I purchased were they both live. But I know the economy is rough down there and what I have heard is that she has become a lady of the night. I wonder what my legal options are to take the child away from the mother since this is not a good environment for the child to grow up in. I have spoken to attorneys and I can tell that all they see is dollar signs and they yes me to death, the way they make it out to seem is that I can just go down there and remove the child from her mother and I know it does not work that way. And then I hear that unless the mother exposes the child to this environment I really don't have any legal recourse. Are there laws down there to protect the child at all from this environment. My mother and father live down there I am not talking about taking the child out of the country but maybe having my mother care for the child.
- Thread starter Ramondon
- Start date
Child Custody
It all depends on what evidence you can present to the Judge in the Minors' Court. If as you say, the mother is a prostitute, and you can prove it and further convince the judge that you will be able to provide your daughter with a better environment, it is almost certain that you will obtain custody of your child.
The guiding principle under Dominican law -- which is the same almost in every other legal system -- is that the interest of the child comes first.
The guiding principle under Dominican law -- which is the same almost in every other legal system -- is that the interest of the child comes first.
I know many mothers in the DR that are prostitutes and good mothers. I look at it this way. They make a good wage on the weekends and have more time to spend with the kids. No matter how much money you give her it will probably not ever be enough for her.
If she is not doing drugs and using the money for family needs. The child is being watched over by a responsible family member while she is working why rock the boat. Many a puta i know have their kids in private school, put more than rice and salami on the table and start small salons with the money they make on their back.
If she is not doing drugs and using the money for family needs. The child is being watched over by a responsible family member while she is working why rock the boat. Many a puta i know have their kids in private school, put more than rice and salami on the table and start small salons with the money they make on their back.
It can seem heart breaking and maybe even touching to hear stories of mothers who decide to prostitute themselves to offer their child a home, decent food and clothes and an education which may lead to a better future than hers.
However, it would, for the mother, have to take a lot of professionalism and discipline to only have CHANCE of success for her and her child or children, virtues which sadly are not typical of those choosing this line of "work" here.
Often the reality is way different, especially here. Yes, the child may be "decorated" with fashion clothes and even jewelry, but usually, that's where all the good intentions end here. The mother's erratic schedule, often hitting the trail with a long term "novio" for weeks if not months, usually ends up with her "entrusting" the child to "family members" who receive it only in the hopes to have some access to the mother's "income". I won't even mention her bringing her men home, her drinking a little more than would seem healthy for her, her every now and then trying to form a "formal" relationship with a bar pickup, introducing the next "John" to her child, awakening false hopes at least, if not putting the child at risk with strangers roaming the island for cheap sex.
The child soon only ends up to be an excuse for her mother's actions or inactions and a chess figure for others hoping to get a piece of the action.
It's a fantasy, not even a nice one, but it's almost as far from likeliness like the romantic perceptions about the "old" Italian mafia suggested by stories and movies. If you really need an awakening, I can show you children like these, when they are not dressed up to be shown around by their "caring" and "all giving" mothers.
In this case, even worse... she gets money, inhabits an dwelling... if she was so interested in the child's well being, could she not find something more purposeful to do? Or is she just keeping the child, for the free money, the home etc?
I'd have her very moves investigated first. See, if she even really lives there. Where the child lives. If the child even effectively attends school, if it's of age to. Build a case, silently and choose a lawyer who is specialized in these cases. I for one, am inclined to believe that at Guzman's offices (poster above) they have some lawyers who may be sympathetic to a child's interest and capable to fight for its best interests effectively.
... J-D.
Thank you J.D. you hit on the nail. Currently she lives in a condo that I pay for but I don't know what's going on in the condo. I was down there less than a week ago and she pretty much stayed at home it wasn't until I came back that I was informed of what was going on. What I want is what is best for my child. I am actually thinking of making the ultimate sacrifice and move down there and try to find a job and fight for my child(only child I have) and don't want to see this vicious cycle that is all to common in the Dominican Republic repeat itself. I pay $600.00 dollars for the apartament a month plus $400.00 dollars a month in child support but that is not enough for her she want's more which I could give her but I choose not to because all she ends up doing is either spending it on her friends or drinking it. Thank you J.D. again for the advise. Jumbo's attitude is all to common down there since he's not the first nor the last that have given me that advise.
I am inclined to believe attorney F. Guzman, that if you and your legal representation can prove both, that she is not giving her child a good home and on the other side you would be better suited, you could get custody of the child.
However, if you and your lawyer can persuade the courts to adjudicate the child's sole custody, you will have to take her geographically away from her and her family's immediate reach. They will not take the whole thing easily, since you would not only take the child away, but most of all $900.oo/month! They will become quite creative in order to set you back or seek to somehow extract money from you.
... J-D.
However, if you and your lawyer can persuade the courts to adjudicate the child's sole custody, you will have to take her geographically away from her and her family's immediate reach. They will not take the whole thing easily, since you would not only take the child away, but most of all $900.oo/month! They will become quite creative in order to set you back or seek to somehow extract money from you.
... J-D.
Pardon my french, but are you crazy Jumbo? this type of lifestyle is not good for a child to grow up in.Have you heard of the saying, monkey see monkey do. This kid will grow up thinking it is ok to be a hooker to get what you want.
The chica has $1000 U.S. from a guy trying to provide a good life for his daughter, and she resorts to being a hooker.No excuses for this piece of crap mother.
Romondon needs to spend his money for a good lawyer and get his daughter out of that situation.
Maybe a better idea is to offer her a sum of money to sighn over custody to you, this cuero will probably jump at the chance of some cash.
Guys need to be a better judge of character to know what they are getting involved with and having kids with. I wonder if she was a hooker before you met her Romondon.
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That is my fear I wake up in the mornnig and go to sleep at night thinking about this, you are right rsg monkey see monkey do, she will think that it is all right to act this way and this is were I have to save my child at all costs. I have spoken to her about this and how it would affect the child, her attitude is that it's my fault because I should be giving her more money. At this point I am willing to pay her the minimum in child support that the Dominican courts have mandated and use that money to fight her tooth and nail, even to the extreme of loosing my investment(the condo). And as I said previously if the courts will only give me custody if I reside in the Dominican Republic so be it, i'd rather be poor and not loose my daughter to that lifestyle than rich and miserable full of regrets because of what I could have done to save my daughter.
I do not know the answer to that question because I have asked around and everybody tells me that she wasn't, but you are right we need to be better judges of character and that is why I just blame myself for this mess and need to rectify it at all costs.
good for you.... You are doing the right thing... women like this use these children to have an easy lifestyle... there is no regard for what is best for the child
Romondan, you sound like a nice dude because there are not many chicas in the dr being supported like you are doing for your daughter and her mother. You are being more then generous with the condo ad the $400 us cash every month.Most chicas would be on easy street on what you are paying her, which is about the starting salary for a doctor in the DR.
Who's name is the condo in? Because if it is in your name only and you are divorced, then i don't understand why you think you could lose it.
You need to get custody of your daughter at all CO$T, DO NOT WAIT AND BE SORRY LATER.Spend whatever resources you have to take your child from this dangerous person. You dont know if she is bringing clients to the condo where your daughter could be in danger of some pervert.How old is your daughter? and wher do you live Romondon?
Who's name is the condo in? Because if it is in your name only and you are divorced, then i don't understand why you think you could lose it.
You need to get custody of your daughter at all CO$T, DO NOT WAIT AND BE SORRY LATER.Spend whatever resources you have to take your child from this dangerous person. You dont know if she is bringing clients to the condo where your daughter could be in danger of some pervert.How old is your daughter? and wher do you live Romondon?
The condo is unfortunately in both our names we kept it that way in the divorce decree. My daughter is 2.5 years old, I live in Queens, New York. The only reason I would loose the condo is so she won't get any money out of it if we decide to sell it, and use those resources against me. I have been trying to be cordial with her but to no avail. I really only see one way out of this and that is moving down there for a while and fighting her on her own turf and prove to the courts that the best interests of the child are with me not her. And believe me I think about a pervert laying their hands on my daughter. I fore warned her if something should happen to my child there is no corner in this earth were she can hide, and she had the balls of telling me she can't watch the child 24hours a day. I just hung up on her because I can't even believe that a mother would say something like this.
I think that you have gotten as much support and suggestions as you may ever hope for on a public forum.
I think that the main consensus advise is;
- It CAN be done as the courts MAY be favorable to hand the child to whom can provide a more suited home.
- You NEED to lawyer up. Seek a reputable, in the mater knowledgeable, professional and to your cause sympathetic lawyer. A firm I would recommend considering would be Ariza Guzman (link at the top of the page).
- Meanwhile, you need to QUIT talking to her, most of STOP hinting every move you may make to HER. Play stupid, play lieutenant Colombo! Tiguereas love to believe gringos are stupid.
- You WILL NEED money.
I think most here will join me in wishing you and your baby LUCK... you may become a single father, you will need it.
... J-D.
There are so many jobs out there, but "not" prostitution. I think poverty is just an escape why women are prompted to sell their flesh. I'd rather polish shoes or work as dishwasher than become a whore.
It's important for children to live in a nice environment. Your wife's job could be potentially harmful to your child coz she'll may think that prostitution is good. Also, your child, at young age, sees the realities of prostitution and might follow the road of her mom. And since there's a tremendous effect of divorce on children, it could even further the chances of getting involved in prostitution or juvenile delinquency.
You could raise this concern to the court, so you'll get the custody. Tell upfront to the attorney that your wife is involved in prostitution and you wouldn't want your child to live in this kind of environment.
It's important for children to live in a nice environment. Your wife's job could be potentially harmful to your child coz she'll may think that prostitution is good. Also, your child, at young age, sees the realities of prostitution and might follow the road of her mom. And since there's a tremendous effect of divorce on children, it could even further the chances of getting involved in prostitution or juvenile delinquency.
You could raise this concern to the court, so you'll get the custody. Tell upfront to the attorney that your wife is involved in prostitution and you wouldn't want your child to live in this kind of environment.
wait a minute!
In DR, you have to go down and register yourself as the father when the child is born.
Did you do that?
In DR, you have to go down and register yourself as the father when the child is born.
Did you do that?
Not uncommon for locals not to have fulfilled that requirement in time either.
But usually, they are quite keen on dragging a gringo into that registry... once they find a juicy one at least.
But yes, to be the father before the law, one would have to have taken that first step before wanting to be taking it any further.
... J-D.
hooking or not
First have you proof that she is hooking?
Not word of mouth from a friend or anyone else from here trusted or not.
Hooking is 100% legal for any woman or man over the age of 18. So it would not be an issue in the court unless she was doing things in sight of the child.
Again, hire a reputible detective to see what she is up to, if indeed she is hooking, get proof.
Again it is 100% legal occupation, it is illegal for a third party to profit from such activity, i. e. pimps are illegal.
Yes there are a lot of chicas working out on their backs to take care of thier kids, I doubt they could make more than 6 - 7,000.00 pesos per month working 44 hours a week, hooking they might make that per week, working less time even.
Do not get me wrong, I am not condoning the occupation, but hey, like cockroaches, its been here since the begining, whos going to erradicate it now?
g'luck
First have you proof that she is hooking?
Not word of mouth from a friend or anyone else from here trusted or not.
Hooking is 100% legal for any woman or man over the age of 18. So it would not be an issue in the court unless she was doing things in sight of the child.
Again, hire a reputible detective to see what she is up to, if indeed she is hooking, get proof.
Again it is 100% legal occupation, it is illegal for a third party to profit from such activity, i. e. pimps are illegal.
Yes there are a lot of chicas working out on their backs to take care of thier kids, I doubt they could make more than 6 - 7,000.00 pesos per month working 44 hours a week, hooking they might make that per week, working less time even.
Do not get me wrong, I am not condoning the occupation, but hey, like cockroaches, its been here since the begining, whos going to erradicate it now?
g'luck
Not illegal...
Is it 100% legal? The understanding I have from previous discussions is, that it is just not illegal. Now, I understand that this may trigger long discussions about the definition of "legal", but I believe that to the contrary of other countries which have laws which clearly legislate "the trade", the DR has none (except for the fact that, as you mentioned, 3rd. party involvement is forbidden).
In the case of child custody, as I understand, ultimately it will be a judge's pleasure to decide for the child's well being. MORAL issues may very well be considerations a judge may be at liberty to include in the equation. Just like considerations about the child's safety, which may very well be jeopardized by it's single mother "hooking", by leaving it alone or in unqualified "care" over extended times, bringing "Johns" to the "home", her exposure to alcohol and maybe even drugs and her potential hygienic and health risks.
Finally, if she does not effectively keep the child, because of her erratic schedule, often and long absences from the "home", I suspect this may also play a role as to whom a judge may prefer to finally entrust a child to.
There are many things a parent may do or may fail to do while remaining within the law, yet making it and unfit parent.
And yes, I don't think it should be about eradicating "the trade" but it has to be about the impact on children, in cases of child custody at least.
... J-D.
Is it 100% legal? The understanding I have from previous discussions is, that it is just not illegal. Now, I understand that this may trigger long discussions about the definition of "legal", but I believe that to the contrary of other countries which have laws which clearly legislate "the trade", the DR has none (except for the fact that, as you mentioned, 3rd. party involvement is forbidden).
In the case of child custody, as I understand, ultimately it will be a judge's pleasure to decide for the child's well being. MORAL issues may very well be considerations a judge may be at liberty to include in the equation. Just like considerations about the child's safety, which may very well be jeopardized by it's single mother "hooking", by leaving it alone or in unqualified "care" over extended times, bringing "Johns" to the "home", her exposure to alcohol and maybe even drugs and her potential hygienic and health risks.
Finally, if she does not effectively keep the child, because of her erratic schedule, often and long absences from the "home", I suspect this may also play a role as to whom a judge may prefer to finally entrust a child to.
There are many things a parent may do or may fail to do while remaining within the law, yet making it and unfit parent.
And yes, I don't think it should be about eradicating "the trade" but it has to be about the impact on children, in cases of child custody at least.
... J-D.