Dishonest Dominican workers?????

[DMV123]

I agree it is so nice to read a good news thread.

Going along with that - can we please change the thread title to reflect that it is good news????

The title leads one to believe the exact opposite of what this thread is.

I too have had some great employees in the past. Part of it is luck and part of it is the way we treat them - with courtesy and respect for them as people and the work they do.

 

[whirleybird]

I apologise for the title of the thread but that is why I added all the ??????????? I know if I posted it with a 'good news' title, almost no-one would have read it - sad, but true!!

 

[anitaemma]

Once again Lambada said it all in nutshell !

I must say the same about our Chino, working fine and after seven years working together there is no need to tell him what to do, it is done, he reads my mind, I keep saying.
It is nice to have a feeling to have some person who is willing to do everything in his power to help us if we need it. He has a good heart and oldfashion values sadly not so common anymore anywhere .

 

[Vacara]

I don't ask Mercedes to cook at all. We eat European-style so it would be expecting a bit much......I do all the cooking, with the exception of spaghetti which is cooked by the resident in-house spaghetti wizard.

I though a "Dominicana" like you would eat a lot of rice & beans, platanos, habichuelas con dulce. What's up with that?.

 

[Lambada]

I though a "Dominicana" like you would eat a lot of rice & beans, platanos, habichuelas con dulce. What's up with that?.

Ah well interesting insight into my culture of origin. The British school system 60 years ago would provide 'school dinners' - 3 days out of 5 the sweet was..............wait for it, rice pudding. That's a sufficient deterrent to put you off rice for LIFE! :cheeky: Platanos yes I like. The other reason for not asking Mercedes to cook is the amount of oil/fatty substances she uses in cooking. I am very sparing for obvious (cholesterol et al) reasons. And out of interest SHE is the one with the high cholesterol now & mine is under control ......... I think also my diet is high on fruit and veg & hers is high on stodge. To each their own, but I stick with cooking what I know will enrich life, not lead me to an early wooden box .

 

[las2137]

Although I had to let her go because of other reasons, I had a honest young woman working for me when I lived in Santo Domingo. She may have ruined several articles of clothing , but I continued to employ her because, as a single woman who worked, I knew I could trust her alone in my home without supervision.

Upon multiple occasions she would return money I had left in my pocket, and I would always get a phone call making sure I had seen it and the note she left saying where she found it.

 

[sunshine73]

I don't know if my issue with domestics is personal or just a "capital thing"... I always treat my employees with respect and pay them well. To them I am a "local" because of my dominican ways. I have had some steal clothes, food and jewelry and some be as honest as some have mentioned, but my latest one left because she want to be with her unemployeed boyfriend who has been a torn in my shoe over the last 9 months. I have help with medical bills for her and her daughters, brought them clothes when I travel and always paid on time. I guess i'm unlucky.

My question is what is the best method to find an honest domestic worker?????

 

[DominicanBabe]

It i refreshing to see such thread highlighting positive things about living in DR and their people. Thank You!

I can share wonderful experiences as well, to many to write about right now, but will soon.

 

[laurajane]

I would say i have had mixed results over the years. My current housekeeper always hands me any change i or my partner may have left in our pockets etc. I am around her more than my partner is and we have a laugh and i ask about her home life, just today i was having a spring clean and rather than give lots of clothes away i ahve given them to her so maybe she can sell them on and make herself a few pennies, allthough i hope i never do it in a condisending way as most of them are new clothes still with the tags on. I always say thank you after she has prepared a meal etc as even though she is an employee and "Haitian" does not mean she is beneath me. My partner (Dominican) is much more demeaning towards her and gets told off by me for it!

My gardener and security man are very polite and one reminded me he owed me money after i had paid him, it was only 300 pesos and because he was so honest i told him please keep it.

However...I have treated all my staff in the same way and i have had some bad eggs too.

My housekeepers used to live in and one used to raid the fridge before she left on a sunday morning for her children, yogurts, apples etc

One stole Pots and pans, clothes, money.

What i tend to do is when a housekeeper first starts is to leave a few little piles of loose change around knowing how much is there or a sly 100 peso note in my jeans and just keep an eye out. I think it is more a question of the individual, not race as i know plenty of scally wag english kids that would probably try and do you out of a few pounds ha ha.

As for my employees in the circus...dont get me started

 

[Norma Rosa]

I am so glad to hear that many of you have had very positive experiences with your domestic help. It's brings to front a question I have always had with respect to why or why not expats decide to hire help in the DR? In Whirleybird's situation, for example, it seems necessary as a finca is very hard to operate without assistance, especially if one partner is absent as was unfortunately the situation in Whirleybird's case last year. However, I am assuming most that have domestic help probably did not in their country of origin.

I know that domestic help from Dominicans or Haitians is very cheap in the DR but I'm sure much thought goes into hiring help or not? I for one would have a very hard time with the decision of whether to hire help or not if I lived there full-time. I love to cook and garden and if I do say so myself, I am a great cook so I would have a hard time handing over the reins.

Just curious how one decides to hire help or not.

Good thread.

Although I love to cook and garden, I hire help when I go to the DR because I know that someone is in need of few bucks. The woman that cooks for me is the most honest, caring person one can ever find. Even when I am not there and she is not working for me, she goes by the house (has a key) to make sure that things are ok. When I am there I work side by side with her; we sit together at the table.
I also hire the Haitians to do yard work, then I call them to my table and serve them a good meal. If they ask for 300 pesos to do a job, I give them 400. In other words, I give myself the opportunity to do something nice for someone else which, conversely, is a treat to myself.

 

[Fiesta Mama]

Let me present this situation and see what you all think. I have some very well-to-do friends in Jamaica. They are fortunate enough to own several acres of land near Ocho Rios and have a very elaborate and beautiful home up in the hills. The husband is a born and raised Jamaican and his wife is American (not that it makes a difference but I'm just trying to lay down the background info). They have a cook, maid and several workers as they operate a farm in addition to making their money in international investments.

I was there a few years ago and being the way I am, treated their "help" very friendly, sat with them in the yard and accepted an offer to do some sightseeing in the small village close to their house. My friends, the owners, were quite upset with me and my friend for having "befriended" (as they called it) their help. They said if you don't treat your staff as that "staff" you will have problems and that I had crossed a line. I was in shock of course because I myself could not imagine treating anyone as a "worker" and not as an equal. It really put a skew on my vacation and in fact tested our friendship because although I could see what they were saying in one respect, I could not fathom NOT befriending someone to the extent of not going to town with them simply because they were your worker. I guess there is a fine line?? As far as I know, the workers were well paid but they were certainly not considered friends of the of the owners of the property. We were almost discouraged from talking with the "help" at all.

Now I know the views of Jamaica may be different than in the Dominican Republic with respect to having help but I certainly could not imagine not having a close relationship with your staff, while retaining that fine line of who is boss and who is worker (simply in order to get things done the way you want and be able to step up like a boss and say when things are being done not the way you want).

 

[El Tigre]

Let me present this situation and see what you all think. I have some very well-to-do friends in Jamaica. They are fortunate enough to own several acres of land near Ocho Rios and have a very elaborate and beautiful home up in the hills. The husband is a born and raised Jamaican and his wife is American (not that it makes a difference but I'm just trying to lay down the background info). They have a cook, maid and several workers as they operate a farm in addition to making their money in international investments.

I was there a few years ago and being the way I am, treated their "help" very friendly, sat with them in the yard and accepted an offer to do some sightseeing in the small village close to their house. My friends, the owners, were quite upset with me and my friend for having "befriended" (as they called it) their help. They said if you don't treat your staff as that "staff" you will have problems and that I had crossed a line. I was in shock of course because I myself could not imagine treating anyone as a "worker" and not as an equal. It really put a skew on my vacation and in fact tested our friendship because although I could see what they were saying in one respect, I could not fathom NOT befriending someone to the extent of not going to town with them simply because they were your worker. I guess there is a fine line?? As far as I know, the workers were well paid but they were certainly not considered friends of the of the owners of the property. We were almost discouraged from talking with the "help" at all.

Now I know the views of Jamaica may be different than in the Dominican Republic with respect to having help but I certainly could not imagine not having a close relationship with your staff, while retaining that fine line of who is boss and who is worker (simply in order to get things done the way you want and be able to step up like a boss and say when things are being done not the way you want).

That's exactly how my family treats the help. It's disgusting. My aunt almost chopped my head off because I gave a girl worker a ride to her campo in Altamira (was on the way to Sosua). Sad...but true. :ermm:

 

[waytogo]

It appears that quite of few people here who have a "little bit" of money and can afford to have household help think they are born out of Royalty. I'm pleased that the people that I associate with don't think like that and are down to earth. When I used to visit here and the "help" would cook for me, do my laundry, and in general see to it that my stay was a pleasant one, I would pay them handsomely when it was time to return, and I never had a problem with my friends over it.
The only problem that I had was the lady in the kitchen thought I loved her because I always flattered her on her appearance and she was telling everyone after I left that when I returned that we were going to get married. I WASN'T quite that nice. lol

 

[2ndVida]

It appears that quite of few people here who have a "little bit" of money and can afford to have household help think they are born out of Royalty.

I can't agree more. I read somewhere a while back that a lot of people come here and get big egos because they have all these perks for little to nothing in comparison. None of us are Kennedy's, as far as I know.

I think everyone should be treated with dignity but there is a fine line. Give a person and inch and they will want a mile kind of thing. Just use good judgment because at the end of the day it is still simply an employee, employer relationship.

 

[Chip]

While it might be easy and convenient to just assume that people are being elitist and whatnot in the treatment of their household help this is an unfortunately and incomplete and inaccurate view in many instances.

I wasn't raised to give any thought to color or the wealth of people and married a very poor black Dominican girl.

We have had two housekeepers and my wife made friends with the first one. She robbed us blind for an amount of almost US1000 by secretly entering my office with my wife's "hidden" key over two years. She was like family, or so we thought.

Our second housekeeper didn't steal anything yet her first day on the job she made almost twice the amount of food we would and had it all packaged to take home - without ever asking permission. We tried to maintain more distance with her, nonetheless any time I tried to be pleasant with her or dare even laugh I soon figured out it wouldn't be long before she was asking for something, like money or a loan or a gift. Inevitably I avoided her and eventually resigned myself to having a relationship which so many of you apparently regard as "elitist". I never yelled at her or had any harsh words but I gave up being friendly with her. I used to give her additional money as well but quit doing that when she never told me thanks nor even smiled for that matter.

What I had to learn and what apparently many of you can't understand is that while you personally might never take advantage of a close relationship with your employer, not everyone in the world is like that. In fact, many would see you as their employer as an opportunity.

 

[2ndVida]

While it might be easy and convenient to just assume that people are being elitist and whatnot in the treatment of their household help this is an unfortunately and incomplete and inaccurate view in many instances.

If someone acts like an "elitist" when they arrive and have things some of us could never afford in our native countries, then call it for what it is.

We have had two housekeepers and my wife made friends with the first one. She robbed us blind for an amount of almost US1000 by secretly entering my office with my wife's "hidden" key over two years. She was like family, or so we thought.

Use good judgement. I always lock my stuff in a safe. I trust my "help" but I always err on the side of caution. This is a poor country. If I forget to lock something up, then so be it, I still have someone I can trust.

Our second housekeeper didn't steal anything yet her first day on the job she made almost twice the amount of food we would and had it all packaged to take home - without ever asking permission. We tried to maintain more distance with her, nonetheless any time I tried to be pleasant with her or dare even laugh I soon figured out it wouldn't be long before she was asking for something, like money or a loan or a gift. Inevitably I avoided her and eventually resigned myself to having a relationship which so many of you apparently regard as "elitist". I never yelled at her or had any harsh words but I gave up being friendly with her. I used to give her additional money as well but quit doing that when she never told me thanks nor even smiled for that matter.

Who wants someone in there home where there is this underlining tension. If I can not be friendly with my "help" at the very least, then I don't want them around. It's my home, not theirs.

What I had to learn and what apparently many of you can't understand is that while you personally might never take advantage of a close relationship with your employer, not everyone in the world is like that. In fact, many would see you as their employer as an opportunity.

This is very true! My "help" was very excited when she got the job. She works very hard and non stop! Shows up on time, etc. But this is my home, not the office. This is a place for me to relax and enjoy my surroundings and the people in it. I save the 100% employee, employer attitude for the office. You have to maintain some of that but you also have a right to be completely comfortable in your own home. Why have help if I can't do that, I never had it in the states and don't need it here. So now that I do, it needs to be comfortable. You are correct, she could care less, she is grateful to have a good paying job.

 

[Africaida]

Everywhere I traveled, especially in developing country, I witnessed household help being treated with a distance-or most often in a condescending- way. I believe, it reflects the clear and sharp class divide that exists in developing country. Again, in the US or Europe, I am sure people who can afford a maid are not "friend" with their maid.

Although, it is not something I could do, it is just the way it is. And, there are probably some valid reasons for that.

Most of us did not grow up with maids at home so it is difficult to understand.

 

[Chip]

If someone acts like an "elitist" when they arrive and have things some of us could never afford in our native countries, then call it for what it is.

Elitist is an attitude and not defined by how much money someone has.

 

[Chip]

I believe, it reflects the clear and sharp class divide that exists in developing country.

Don't just assume it has to be with class or otherwise.

Just ask Sking her own experiences about that here in Santiago.

 

[Africaida]

Don't just assume it has to be with class or otherwise.

Just ask Sking her own experiences about that here in Santiago.

I stand by what I said Chip. Social classes in developing countries are much more rigid than in developed countries.

As a matter of fact, as I read it on the board, most of us tourists would have no problem drinking a beer with a motoconcho, while a middle class dominican would never do it. The same way most Dominican would not befriend their household help.

I don't necessarily approve it, but, again, that is just the way it is.