- Thread starter Isabel85
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Need an opinion...
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Well, if i ask your opinions it's because you are older than me, have more experience and seem to know better the country and the people there.... I haven't made my mind yet...just spend very good holidays. I don't deny that i have some feelings for this guy but it's not like i'm totally in love with him. I'm a very rational person. I just enjoyed being with him an talk to him because he's always in good mood and he's always positive and make me laugh, that's change me of the people i've met here.
I seriously doubt i'll get married with him because, first i'm actually still legally married and i don't want to do it again, never. And second, I'm a foreigner who lives in switzerland, i have tempory residency here and there is no way i can bring him here. And he knows that since the begining.
I seriously doubt i'll get married with him because, first i'm actually still legally married and i don't want to do it again, never. And second, I'm a foreigner who lives in switzerland, i have tempory residency here and there is no way i can bring him here. And he knows that since the begining.
If you can't offer him a way out of the country, then you are wasting his time. Maybe you should step away and let him find someone more amenable to his interests so he can get on with his life.
Believe me, once he realizes he can't get anywhere with you he'll be very upset.
Poor Dominicans don't have time to indulge the romantic and unrealistic love fantasies of Westerners. They got to keep it moving, know what I mean? And all you're doing is holding him back.
Berzin;942984[B said:
Let HIM figure it out. He is an adult, 29 years old. No one needs to hold his hand. The saying is easy come, easy go. He shouldnt think it is going to be that easy. Thats the problem, every one wants the cake, but no one wants to bake.
Absolutely 100% true.
Which is why the dichotomy should be evident to the OP.
Having said that, let me add to RacerX's post that there are a few things the OP needs to be aware of.
There are many foreigners who look to realize childish and unrealistic fantasies about their third world lovers, qualities which they believe Western men/women have all but lost. They believe the manner in which they are treated is because they are genuinely in love. But it's all an act.
In these types of relationships, Dominicans know well enough to indulge their foreign partner's fantasies to a certain extent as long as they can see pay dirt at the end of the horizon.
And just to make sure, these Dominicans usually juggle a few of these relationships at the same time. The OP seems blissfully ignorant of this dynamic.
just some things to think about
OP, just keep having fun, and dont get yourself into anything you have to commit to. You can have your cake, and eat it to. It sounds like you have already been there done that so this should be all about fun, and not any commitments.
The things that gets me that other people are hinting at are:
he is 29 and still in university, why?
Did he already finish school in another trade and then decided he didnt like that and is going back for a new trade?
did he have to work to support his family?
did he have a family and have to leave school to support them?
most of the women i know that returned to school, in their mid 20s did so because they started a family, or needed to support their family. (guess what this also applies in my country)
if he isnt supporting his parents, or his own family and is just starting his career now at 29 its a warning sign.
if his parents are still supporting him at 29 its a warning sign.
if his parents are supporting his education and he hasnt completed it by 29. guess what
The comments about the parents might be better phrased this way. Are his father or mother a respected part of the community? Or are they hard working dominicans?
My girlfriends mother is a school teacher in her town, and is involved in politics. they are in a little town which still has the small town social scene. In order for her sons to take a girl out on a date (18-22 years old) they have to ask the girl's father for permission. Luckily for these 2 boys all they have to say they are "hijos de Esmeralda" and the girls get to go out. In the small towns, the parent's name carries weight.
OP, just keep having fun, and dont get yourself into anything you have to commit to. You can have your cake, and eat it to. It sounds like you have already been there done that so this should be all about fun, and not any commitments.
The things that gets me that other people are hinting at are:
he is 29 and still in university, why?
Did he already finish school in another trade and then decided he didnt like that and is going back for a new trade?
did he have to work to support his family?
did he have a family and have to leave school to support them?
most of the women i know that returned to school, in their mid 20s did so because they started a family, or needed to support their family. (guess what this also applies in my country)
if he isnt supporting his parents, or his own family and is just starting his career now at 29 its a warning sign.
if his parents are still supporting him at 29 its a warning sign.
if his parents are supporting his education and he hasnt completed it by 29. guess what
The comments about the parents might be better phrased this way. Are his father or mother a respected part of the community? Or are they hard working dominicans?
My girlfriends mother is a school teacher in her town, and is involved in politics. they are in a little town which still has the small town social scene. In order for her sons to take a girl out on a date (18-22 years old) they have to ask the girl's father for permission. Luckily for these 2 boys all they have to say they are "hijos de Esmeralda" and the girls get to go out. In the small towns, the parent's name carries weight.
Lets call a spade a spade. He may not be married but I'd be willing to bet my life he has a girlfriend or is screwing around with at least a couple of other girls. Any Dominican man that tells you he doesn't have a girlfriend or is not seeing anyone is either lying or gay. Take your pick. And I'm being brutally honest here.
Let me ask you something. Would you seriously consider dating a charity case from your home country expecting something fruitful to come of it? Again I'd be willing to bet that no you would not date a poor person with no stable job in your home country, so what makes the DR different? There's nothing wrong with wanting to help him out....but just don't expect too much. Like everyone says....enjoy the ride and have fun. Fall in love at your own risk!
Need an opinion
Need an opinion?
I think not. You need a big bag of condoms, a few quid in the bank to roll your upcoming trips to visit and use each other. You need to learn how to look him in the eye and blatantly lie your ass off as well as does to you. Learn to stay one step ahead of the upcoming manipulation, or switch off during his pathetic efforts in such, while still holding that reassuring eye and sincerity I mentioned above. Learn that to patronise a player is completely ok in these cases.
Close your heart, open your legs and have some meaningless fun.
Need an opinion?
I think not. You need a big bag of condoms, a few quid in the bank to roll your upcoming trips to visit and use each other. You need to learn how to look him in the eye and blatantly lie your ass off as well as does to you. Learn to stay one step ahead of the upcoming manipulation, or switch off during his pathetic efforts in such, while still holding that reassuring eye and sincerity I mentioned above. Learn that to patronise a player is completely ok in these cases.
Close your heart, open your legs and have some meaningless fun.
I have just one thing to say to you, SANKY!!!!!! If you are paying for almost everything, I hate to say it but you have been sankedtified!!! Not all, but many Dominican men only use women to get them out of the country, so that they can earn a better financial living and support their families back home so be very very careful my dear. You might not care for a man with money but he might very well care about a women with money. Also It is very rare for a dominican man to be 29 with no kids or novia or wife. The excuse of the girls in his town only wanting guys for money might be a way to make you feel that if you expect anything from him as simple as maybe buying dinner once in a while not because you can't pay for yourself but simply because it's shivery and romantic, he might think your being materialistic. Just be careful, once you have an emotional bond going it will be hard for you to break free, they are masters at deception. Maybe when you go down to see him dont let him know you're coming and see what you could find out about him first.
She doesn't want to marry him, she just wants her occasional yuquita. So like she said she is big girl. Let her indulge. Nagua is well known for it's sexual side, their is a saying in Spanish; "Entra si quieres, sal si puedes". So Isabel, if you are smart & you sound like you are. You will keep this physical and not let this papichulo suck you in. Enjoy the sex and get to know the rest of the island, because that way you can make a better comparison of this tiguerazo. Your doing the right thing, by the way welcome to DR and DR1!
Does anyone else find it ironic how so many ex-pats seem to be so quick to negatively judge the inhabitants of the country they've decided to adopt as their new home?
Do Sankies exist everywhere on the island? YES!
Are there good actors in the DR? YES!
Will some try to get a foreign bf/gf just for a ticket out of the DR and/or get money from them? YES!
But not every Dominican is like this. Certainly not even the majority.
Isabel85, please consider what everyone has said, then just make up your own mind. Don't be influenced by the negativity. You could be missing out on a great guy because of stupid suspicions that have no basis on fact.
I thank God every day that I chose to make the DR my home. That I had the priveledge of meeting my amazing wife. That I had good friends to teach and guide me. And that I ignored the advice of people who only had negative things to say.
Good luck.
Do Sankies exist everywhere on the island? YES!
Are there good actors in the DR? YES!
Will some try to get a foreign bf/gf just for a ticket out of the DR and/or get money from them? YES!
But not every Dominican is like this. Certainly not even the majority.
Isabel85, please consider what everyone has said, then just make up your own mind. Don't be influenced by the negativity. You could be missing out on a great guy because of stupid suspicions that have no basis on fact.
I thank God every day that I chose to make the DR my home. That I had the priveledge of meeting my amazing wife. That I had good friends to teach and guide me. And that I ignored the advice of people who only had negative things to say.
Good luck.
He is unemployed, has no future, no money, no nothing, hell, even the local girls aren't interested in him and he is aparently extremely good looking, I'm sure he is a good catch:ermm:
Would she go with an unemployed bum with no future back home? If so then maybe she should stick at it!!
Anyway, I stopped giving my 2pence on these stupid threads ages ago and so I'll butt out!!
Couldn?t have said it better myself.
Too many people have come to the conclusion that every Dominican is a Sanky!!!!
This isn?t true, get this out of your head dr1.
I didn't the thread after the first 2 posts. My question is this:
You people are blind as to not see the who drives good cars in this country? Who lives well and has top notch education? I mean, why always some dude with no job or struggling in life? You people can't see any well-to-do dominican in this country? Women say they are good looking and hold a good job in their own country yet when they come here, they find a guy who is totally opposite. Whats the deal? No one wants a guy with a fancy car, a good job, wealth of family and someone who lives more comfortably than you folks do in your own country?
Umm, maybe you people only want losers.
AZB
You people are blind as to not see the who drives good cars in this country? Who lives well and has top notch education? I mean, why always some dude with no job or struggling in life? You people can't see any well-to-do dominican in this country? Women say they are good looking and hold a good job in their own country yet when they come here, they find a guy who is totally opposite. Whats the deal? No one wants a guy with a fancy car, a good job, wealth of family and someone who lives more comfortably than you folks do in your own country?
Umm, maybe you people only want losers.
AZB
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