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child support standards in the DR
Setup???? Just because your on birth control does not guarantee no pregnancy. Condom ok...OP needs to find out if he is the father first and foremost. Then be upfront with the mother and tell her exactly what he is willing to do and what he is not. And yes there can be a formal agreement drawn up to protect both of them but mostly to protect the needs of the child. He goes his way and she goes her way. All the dramatics will only bring problems down the line. At least if the OP approaches it in this manner and she is not agreeable then he will know what may be in store for him. I always go by the old saying there are always 3 sides of a story. Yours, mine and the truth. I think enough advice has been given.
I don't believe you are on this planet yet alone this country. If a guy wants the option to opt out what on earth makes you think he is going to submit his details to any legal body? Draw up an agreement)
You say three sides, I say reality!
Anyway, no one has the right to judge until you have walked in the other mans shoes, enough of this tripe!
You say three sides, I say reality!
Anyway, no one has the right to judge until you have walked in the other mans shoes, enough of this tripe!
Here's what I gotta say if your man enough to make a baby man up and take care of it. Having a baby and just providing money dosen't make you a great or good father it just make's you a sperm donor and a lousy one at that. Use protection ,keep it in your pant's or get them snipped .
Bigwhiskey, I'm with you man! Furthermore, this dude KNOWS that's his CHILD!!!! You don't come up with these sorry ass excuses if there were doubts of the child being his!!!!! If there was anything shady going on while he was seeing her then his thoughts should have been focused more on determining paternity issues. Who in their right MIND would send money for pre-natal care without knowing FIRST if the child is truly theirs!!!! For those who think he can get away with this kind of crap, think again...THERE ARE WAYS OF FINDING HIM and he just provided a bit of info as to what area he is from without realizing it, and that's just a START!!!!!
Such as...?
Some schmuck from Canada who bones a girl from the campo? Lot of info there...
Racer.....now you know that "me and you is like peas and carrots" but you know what this fool is doing is wrong. Yes I agree his responsibility is to the child not the mother but to just walk out of the child's life....really??? He deserves to be taken to the cleaners...
SHALENA
jejejeje, care to share?
Some of you need to get real. Any idea how many hardened criminal are actually IN the country and they can't even find them between PoP and Cabarete, or the Cap and Boca. What makes you feel they will beable to trace a Canadian guy who comes over from time to time to screw the girls? Is it because there are so few Canadians that fit that profile or because Canada is so much smaller than the DR and his crime is so serious and rare you expect international assistance on this one?
jejeje, plenty dreamers on this thread!
Look, you my girl like the n---a with the 1st Jheri Curl.
I know he is wrong, but this is in the Legal section so I m trying to be reserved. He just wants to know about child support. $40/month/child. You send her $100 and it is more than anything a domestic man would send IF he wanted to send anything.
If this was in the Mars/Venus section, I d say what I think. The whole thing is ass out...his rendition of what will happen before/after AND then he will pop up dead(???) and that will suit the child much better than the fact that the mother was just a tropical booty call. The whole scenario was awfully naive. Then some other guy will come in and make right what has happened before. All of this is true to form Dominican nonsense. I run into this ALL the time. Women want you to fix(resolver) what she and some other dude F'd up. And have a disproportionate capacity for compromise. I have drawn the conclusion that you, literally, just cant help some people. When I meet women and they sing the Gringo Song I think what they really mean to do is meet a Dudley Do Right like this guy.
This guy's problem? He came here, met some some campo girl, rocked her world, she rocked his but he is bored with her. He was hitting it and let off a few shots and now that she is pregnant is when he decides he doesnt want to see her anymore because she is poor. He knows he knocked her up, he did it on purpose.
The girl I could care less about, because she was going to have a poor baby no matter what. With a Diputado from the PRSC, un aguacil from DCND, el hombre que tiene la lavanderia Marisol, a gringo from Canada or some local tigre it is all the same in the end. She actually did better with the gringo.
Tough Situation
Unfortunately I have too much experience in this field. You need to make sure the child support you are paying actually goes towards the child and not new shoes, clothes, and jewelry for the mother. You also can put a pension on the mother that she, too, must support this child economically, and that it's not all up to you. The family courts and courts of minors in this country are an absolute disaster, they protect no child. You can try and use them, but you will be spending a lot of time and money, and as usual in the court system here, the only winner will be the attorneys. Your best bet, is if you have a friendly relationship with the mother and live in the DR, to bring the necessities to her yourself, and make sure you have regular visitation. If you live outside the country, good luck, as you should find a family lawyer (not all lawyers are specialists in this field even if they claim they are), and try and get a formal agreement signed and ratified by the family courts. I am trying to do this right now, it will cost me for everything about RD$ 30,000.00 pesos.
What about following scenario : girl gets pregnant, guy is a bit between yes and hmmm but ok, it happened so he takes responsibility. After six months, girl is getting tired of crying baby, gets tired of whole situation, starts to nag about how she she is feeling useless, guy is trying to compensate but things gets worse and girl is now constantly fighting with him with a baby of six months between them. One day girl just disappears and leaves guy with 6 month child to raise himself, he does his best. When the child is two years, the mother drags him for court and oh what a surprise, she wins and custody goes to the mother. Father has nothing to say despite the fact that he raised the child on his own for two years with no a single call or visit from the mother. The court arranges a visiting shedule, child is all messed up already, switching gives the child the day before switching a high feaver, common among children who cannot express themselves yet but are knowing that something is not right. That scenario continues with his ups and downs, child goes to school and when getting 11 mother decides its time for another court visit for raising the allowance, no talking with the father, he is just the money machine, so court and court decides, yes sure, father pay up dude, child needs to go to high school soon. Father gets a bit fed up with this kind of behaviour of mother (can you blame him) and tries to talk with her because he is paying but not receiving any school reports on the progress of the child.
That is the signal for the mother to really take off, she starts to set the child up against the father, not difficult with an 11 year old, makes sure he get wrong hours to pick her up from school or picks her up 5 minutes before and then go and sit at the directors office to complain that ex is not there to pick up the child, what A DISGRACE! HOW DARE HE! The phycological harassment of the child by the mother continuous on a constant basis.
After a year the child start to pee in bed again and that is the sign for the father, enough is enough and he leaves the child in custody with the mother, he holds his visiting rights but does not use them anymore. During the last visit of the child, he has a good talk with his child and says that his door will be always open for the child but for the child's own good and peace of mind, there is nothing he can do anymore except make sure he pays the bills and will continue to do that for her education and upbringing and when the child is old enough, can make own choices.
After the door closes after the child with another as usual tirade of the mother whilst she is holding the child in front of her, he knows he did the right thing, he gave 14 years of his life for this child of which at least twelve were miserable for him and the child. He can only hope that the next 14 years will bring some more happiness to the childs life. Although missing his child, he surely is looking forward to also some happier years.
Tell me who took more interest in the childs interest in this scenario and although a scenario, certainly one in which many people can recognize a story of some body they know have gone through it one way or another, in this country or any country for that matter.
I do not care that this thread is in the Legal section, I do not care if the law says this or that. The reality it totally different. Moral? Please spare me, some people have no moral when it comes to getting as much money out of the pocket of the other party and have not scrutiny at all to use the children as bait for that.
And that is WHY I think this guy (the OP) is doing the right thing for his child.
Acira
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My story is different after the first sentence. The rest has to happen yet, not saying it will happen as I told but it can. Each to his own opinion but in my eyes he is trying to be sensible and thinking it through for the sake of the child.
For the sake of child ? It will be once the scenario starts to play itself like your story.
Fatherhood can be based on the assumption that the mother will automatically be a manipulative crazy bitch.
Its not a story I invented but in my experience, a woman can turn out to be a very manipulative crazy bitch when it comes to a break in the relation and that woman will take everything in her power including the children to get what she thinks she deserves to get. In my story there was not even a break as such at that time, the couple was still together, she just ran off taking everything she could her hands on and left the child with the grandparents whilst her husband was abroad. Nice he?
The story is very typical of a young women in this country, wants the child as it is the ultimate fashion accessory, but when the reality hits home she doesn't want it. Children are hard work, if you really do not want to be part of that it is best not to be. This only ever leads to physical fights and it takes the stronger willed person to leave the situation, not knowing if the child will be treated correctly or not, be fed the fundamentals for a successful/happy life.
I am not saying this guy (OP) is doing the right thing as he seems to have decided to leave her now he found out she is pregnant, that in itself is harsh as if she wasn't pregnant I'd expect he'd be quite happy to continue to return for his shagging vacations, he hasn't even tried the family life, it is a bit of a cop out, but we don't know all the facts.
A mother leaving the child is terrible, I've always said if my daughters mother was to leave me with her then I'd want legal custody papers signed over to me, ya! Done, leave but no court in the world could put the child through that again. The mother would never sign the child over, the guy is the meal ticket if times ever do get tough again or when she is finished with the partying scene, finished being a young women.
I still don't feel this can all be held against the OP, he has been caught off guard, at least he is willing to finance her. The only seriously fkcued up thing he has said is about pretending to be dead, that is terrible, lets hope Karma wasn't listening when he thought of that.
I am not saying this guy (OP) is doing the right thing as he seems to have decided to leave her now he found out she is pregnant, that in itself is harsh as if she wasn't pregnant I'd expect he'd be quite happy to continue to return for his shagging vacations, he hasn't even tried the family life, it is a bit of a cop out, but we don't know all the facts.
A mother leaving the child is terrible, I've always said if my daughters mother was to leave me with her then I'd want legal custody papers signed over to me, ya! Done, leave but no court in the world could put the child through that again. The mother would never sign the child over, the guy is the meal ticket if times ever do get tough again or when she is finished with the partying scene, finished being a young women.
I still don't feel this can all be held against the OP, he has been caught off guard, at least he is willing to finance her. The only seriously fkcued up thing he has said is about pretending to be dead, that is terrible, lets hope Karma wasn't listening when he thought of that.