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Thread: No job, 6month relationship, 15 and talking babies

  1. #1
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    Default No job, 6month relationship, 15 and talking babies

    What is wrong with people. I was sitting having a coffee with a friend last night and she was telling me of her concern for her younger sister who has been talking babies. Apparently her boyfriend (a bit older and already the father of 2 kids to different women<cough>/girls) has been bugging her to have a baby. She is 15 and we all know how easy we were manipulated at that age, along with knowing it all and the stupidity level being off the scale, we all know she will do whatever loverboy asks, he has a car after all and lives in Boca Chica. Sounds good doesn't it, lol.
    My friend is worried silly as her sister hasn't even finished education yet, is already putting having a baby above all other priority. Even though this is a serious matter, and my friend is concerned the mother and father seem almost happy about the situation, well,,,,,apparently after belting her across the head a few times they had a cuddle and now everything seems in favour of having a new toy (child) to pay for/play with.

    Why do I feel so angry about this, frustrated, I want to shake them and tell them how utterly stupid this is, they have nothing now, what will the baby eat. I don't really know them but it was keeping me awake last night trying to understand how some people are just so fricking dumb they really don't deserve to be on this planet.

    Has anyone got their head around this yet, babies and the lack of importance. I must need to take a chill pill as it has me really worked up.

    Rant over!
    I am aware this is not directly linked to DR, but it is a massive issue with the kids here, where is the education on this matter, do they even have education on this at school here?

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    The limitless powers of ignorance!

    Einstein is quoted for having said something like this:
    "Both space (the universe) and stupidity is endless/unlimited... well, stupidity I am definitely certain."

    What really gets me is this nation's apparent inability to learn from the errors of those surrounding them.
    Especially the making babies part to assure that "she" will have food (provided by the volatile Mamaguebo she got it from), really, really now is the one scheme they are surrounded with evidence DOES NOT work... at least usually never longer than a few months after which comes "solo me quereo por mi bebe", bebe which soon winds up dumped at some family member's home.



    ... J-D.

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    Does anyone know if they do have sex education here?
    It may sound silly this day and age but it wouldn't surprise me if they didn't. Are the kids even aware of the precautional options available?

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    Education, education, education...

    Understand several cultural things:
    - Babies are not as much work in The DR for the mother as they are let's say in The US. You'll always have someone to leave the kid with (grandparents). The kids pretty much raise themselves with the support of the extended family, thus the mother to be is not thinking about the huge undertaking this is.
    - A baby is potentially a way to "keep" a boyfriend / husband from straying away too far. Of course he will have some other girls on the side (99% of Dominican guys do), but this is a way of "amarrarlo" and also use the kid as a bargaining chip when they fight.
    - The "to get it out of the way" thinking comes down strictly to a believe that they are "over the hill" when they are bout 25 years old, thus they think they may not be able to get the guy they want at that age so better do this now. Of course anyone in their right mind would think the opposite would be true and you'd want to enjoy your life without any attachments when you're still young and then have the kids when you're "over that hill".

    The good thing is this mentality is changing quite a bit in The DR as people get more educated. For instance none of my nephews have any kids yet and a bunch of them are between the ages of 18 and 22. Both me and my brother already had kids at that age.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DRNED View Post
    Why do I feel so angry about this, frustrated, ?
    It's called caring and, for what it's worth, you have my respect for doing so!

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    While I certainly don't agree with this young girls actions, I can understand to a certain extent. Dominicans are still family oriented, ie children are typically still considered a blessing and a joy as opposed to a drag on someone's life. As people here are very affectionate with children, it's no wonder that young girls are raised to be good mothers from an early age on.

    Suarez makes a good point too that it is easier to raise a child here in the DR than in the States, ie there is always a family member that can watch them if need be among other things.

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    Suarezn sums it up. That mentality is a major obstacle to progress for individuals and for DR society as a whole, IMO.
    Although education helps, the mentality persists. I've seen a couple of members of my husband's family - who have had more advantages than many - have their first babies in their mid 20s before finishing university for some of those reasons, and their studies inevitably fall by the wayside.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chirimoya View Post
    Suarezn sums it up. That mentality is a major obstacle to progress for individuals and for DR society as a whole, IMO.
    Although education helps, the mentality persists. I've seen a couple of members of my husband's family - who have had more advantages than many - have their first babies in their mid 20s before finishing university for some of those reasons, and their studies inevitably fall by the wayside.
    Its two sides of the same coin, ie one can only be heads up at the same time. Either family values take precendence or they fall by the wayside; it doesn't appear that there is a viable median. The postive thing is there is a population growth, which is important for a number of reasons. On the other hand Europe has a negative popuation growth because of the change in it's core values. This may seem like progression, but nobody will see it in a matter of generations because they will be nobody around to see it.

    http://www.goldtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=34337

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    A friend once explained to me that having lot's of kids is the Dominican "Social Security" system and since most single parents don't give them much time or attention anyhow, it's a no lose situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mason3000 View Post
    A friend once explained to me that having lot's of kids is the Dominican "Social Security" system and since most single parents don't give them much time or attention anyhow, it's a no lose situation.
    I don't understand!

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