my car vs. your domestic violence

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engineerfg

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I had to make a toilet pit stock in a little shop near Higuey this weekend.

As I was pulling in, there appeared to be a husband/wife fighting publicly in front of everyone. As I got out of my car, the guy smacked the girl up, not just a smack but a punch. There were about 10 people hanging about watching, and they all looked the other way while the guy laid on the beating.

After my toilet duties, I got back in the car and realized that I'd pulled off the road too far and was stuck in the loose gravel/dirt and the car was stuck facing down the ditch.

Sure enough, the kind Dominicans, about 5 of them jumped to my rescue and helped push the car out of the ditch.... 5 of the same people that were watching the guy beat up his wife.

So the question is, what's worth more in this country? my ****ty Nissan? or the wife's face?
 
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ExtremeR

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If you get involved you may very well be converted into a strainer as guys who are raging over jelously don't think before they act. En pleitos de marido y mujer nadie se ****. But you could have called the police though.
 

mountainannie

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As I was pulling in, there appeared to be a husband/wife fighting publicly in front of everyone. As I got out of my car, the guy smacked the girl up, not just a smack but a punch. There were about 10 people hanging about watching, and they all looked the other way while the guy laid on the beating.


So the question is, what's worth more in this country? my ****ty Nissan? or the wife's face?

WOW.. this is really amazing.. I could not imagine that this could happen here. I mean, I know that there is a high degree of domestic violence here but I could not imagine this scene.. in public.. that the people would just stand and watch? (of course, there was lots of that in nYC years ago, when someone got mugged and no one called the police)

but I would have thought that culture here would have come to aid of the woman..

or is that just considered.. that she is his wife and his property...?
 
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engineerfg

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Well I didn't get involved naturally because I'm a coward, I don't speak the language well enough, and invariably my involvement and white skin would mean I'd have to pay something.

But I think the others didn't get involved because 1) they like to see car accidents, train wrecks, and fights 2) they don't want the headache.

In the US or UK we would call 911 and walk away. Would 911 work near Higuey? hmm.
 

bachata

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So the question is, what's worth more in this country? my ****ty Nissan? or the wife's face?
We have an phrase in DR: En pleitos de mario y mujer nadie se ****!

No one get involve in wife and husband argument cause they will laid down in bed at night and you will be in problems...

I can't type the last word of my phase for any reason I'm been blocked.

JJ
 
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Bronxboy

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Something like this happens in NY, that guy would have been minced meat!!!!!

Better yet, ROAD KILL!!!!!!
 
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Africaida

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What is the **** of Bachata and ExtremeR ?? Cause I thought it was nadie se mete...

I also heard lo resuelven en la cama....

Anyway, it's good to be a woman in Nueva Yol :)
 

la_barbie

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As I got out of my car, the guy smacked the girl up, not just a smack but a punch. There were about 10 people hanging about watching, and they all looked the other way while the guy laid on the beating.

Women are such idiots... beat them back... or send me !;)
 

cobraboy

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Well I didn't get involved naturally because I'm a coward, I don't speak the language well enough, and invariably my involvement and white skin would mean I'd have to pay something.
That's a cop out.

I don't speak the language well, either, but I HAVE intervened often in various issues. Not domestic violence, but others.

There were kids making explosions with PVC pipe and lighter fluid one night after 11pm. Huge BOOMS!!! I went out barely dressed and literally took their "cannon" and said in English, "you get it tomorrow at 6." And I took it to them at 6. No more booms.

Saturday evening we had tour guests at our farewell dinner in downtown Jarabacoa. Some kids in a massively loud speakercar parked in front of the restuarant and blasted music at 120db at least. After a few minutes I went down and confronted the kids. "This yours?" (I point to the car.) Enthusiastic, proud head nods. I looked the kid in the eye and drew my finger across my throat and pointed at the car. He got the message and the music/noise stopped.

Nobody says you have to brandish a Glock or arma blanca. But unless you are a total wimp/coward you CAN let your thoughts be known. They often mean more coming from a foreigner than a Dominican.

I'd have done *something* had I seen some guy wailing on a woman in public if nothing more than pretend to take a pic with my cell phone while shouting "llamada de policia." There is NO excuse for allowing any woman to get beaten without doing something.

But then again, I'm no coward, I don't show much fear and I'm a large white human. Maybe that counts in my favor. I dunno.
 
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Anastacio

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In my experience police don't like to get involved in domestics, and natives know that, so a threat to call them doesn't carry much weight.
But often when or if police do arrive they will grab anyone who looks in the middle of it without hearing the facts.
And there is also the fear of someone carrying a weapon.

There is all this but the real reason people will stand back and watch is because they like a bit if drama, even if it is at the expense of some poor woman. Mob mentality is strong, no one does anything and everyone does nothing.
 

greydread

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Well I didn't get involved naturally because I'm a coward, I don't speak the language well enough, and invariably my involvement and white skin would mean I'd have to pay something.

But I think the others didn't get involved because 1) they like to see car accidents, train wrecks, and fights 2) they don't want the headache.

In the US or UK we would call 911 and walk away. Would 911 work near Higuey? hmm.

Under the circumstances I think that it would have been stupid for you to interfere in an apparent domestic fight between people you don't know which was being observed by other people whom you also don't know. The least that could have happened would be for both of them to turn on you, as usually happens during this type of intervention. From that point you could have ended up being the focus of a mob attack. You are the outsider and you might not have survived to tell the story and if you were travelling alone it's possible that no one would have gotten your story as well.

Had you jumped in and held him (I've seen this happen) she could have very well stabbed him, making you an accessory to aggravated assault or murder. Do you know for sure that he didn't hit her in self defense and that's why the onlookers didn't act?

No. Forget about it. I don't care what anybody else says. Superman died in a wheelchair.
 
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engineerfg

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That's a cop out.

...

But then again, I'm no coward, I don't show much fear and I'm a large white human. Maybe that counts in my favor. I dunno.


No you're not a cow-ard. You're just a cow-boy. Or perhaps a boy-scout. Or perhaps just an idealistic American. I've traveled the third world enough to know that the Bruce Willis act should stay at home. Unless you want to end up tied up in a boiling cauldron of water at the end of the day surrounded by chanting mud creatures!

If the locals won't do anything, why should we?

But the point of this conversation was just to highlight the absurdity of it all. The locals jumped in to help me push my throw-away POS car, but they won't help a local woman getting smacked up.
 

cobraboy

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Under the circumstances I think that it would have been stupid for you to interfere in an apparent domestic fight between people you don't know which was being observed by other people whom you also don't know. The least that could have happened would be for both of them to turn on you, as usually happens during this type of intervention. From that point you could have ended up being the focus of a mob attack. You are the outsider and you might not have survived to tell the story and if you were travelling alone it's possible that no one would have gotten your story as well.

Had you jumped in and held him (I've seen this happen) she could have very well stabbed him, making you an accessory to aggravated assault or murder. Do you know for sure that he didn't hit her in self defense and that's why the onlookers didn't act?

No. Forget about it. I don't care what anybody else says. Superman died in a wheelchair.
A lot of speculation there, 'dred.

I hope you're not around when some poor girl is getting hammered, don't want to get yourself hurt and all. Might muss up your threads.

You don't have to be Superman...or a cowboy...to do The Right Thing. Ask Bush Baby who did it and went to jail over it. It was still the Right Thing to do.

Some folks have a higher tolerance of fear and lower tolerance of honor than others do. We're different that way.

I'd have done something. Don't know what, wasn't there (nor were you), but I'd NEVER let some guy beat up some girl in public for fear of my personal safety.
 

greydread

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A lot of speculation there, 'dred.

I hope you're not around when some poor girl is getting hammered, don't want to get yourself hurt and all. Might muss up your threads.

You don't have to be Superman...or a cowboy...to do The Right Thing. Ask Bush Baby who did it and went to jail over it. It was still the Right Thing to do.

Some folks have a higher tolerance of fear and lower tolerance of honor than others do. We're different that way.

I'd have done something. Don't know what, wasn't there (nor were you), but I'd NEVER let some guy beat up some girl in public for fear of my personal safety.

Sure it's a lot of speculation there, 'boy. Any potentially compromising situation warrants all the speculation we can muster. WTF is this "tolerance of honor" you're talking about? How can you claim "honor" for prejudging how you'd react in a situation that you don't know enough about to get involved in?

If I'd see a similar situation on my home turf where I am equipped to quickly gather information and ascertain wrongdoing on the part of one of the combatants I might be more prone to proactivity but not there, alone and under those circumstances with my insufficient Spanish (from the OP) it would have been STOOPIT to interfere. Not "honorable"...STOOPIT.
 
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cobraboy

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Sure it's a lot of speculation there, 'boy. Any potentially compromising situation warrants all the speculation we can muster. WTF is this "tolerance of honor" you're talking about? How can you claim "honor" for prejudging how you'd react in a situation that you don't know enough about to get involved in?

If I'd see a similar situation on my home turf where I am equipped to quickly gather information and ascertain wrongdoing on the part of one of the combatants I might be more prone to proactivity but not there, alone and under those circumstances with my insufficient Spanish (from the OP) it would have been STOOPIT to interfere. Not "honorable"...STOOPIT.
I guess we all need a good excuse, huh?

Honor: defending those unable to physically defend themselves. Few women can defend themselves from getting pummeled by a man. And not one "deserves" it.

But opinions vary. As do excuses.
 
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