Hard To Adjust To Life In USA?

When I go to USA, I get adjusted to the life there in 1 hour. I almost forget that I live in DR. I simply take my car and go to computer stores (compUSA, microcenter), walmart, malls etc. It almost doesn't feel as if I had even left the country to live somewhere else. Then after a few days, it all gets boring, the malls, the shopping, the large screen TV the restaurants and the central a/c everywhere. I begin to miss the unorganization, the car honks, my mango tree and eeven the UBH from sosua. This is when I begin to plan my scape back to paradise. I only feel free and at home when I see the monument from the sky when my delta 757 is approaching the runway at sti, flaps down, landing wheels down and over barranquita, santiago city on your left side. What a view.
I am sad to say, snuffy, you may never get adjusted to the american life again. You got the santiago fever.
AZB

Snuffy,
If you are renting in NYC, there are Dominican areas in Brooklyn and Queens, that are relatively safe and your wife and daughter would feel at home, shopping and socializing with other Dominicans. Understand that the majority of predominant Dominican neighborhoods in NY & NJ are in poor areas of the city. If a short drive is no problem, then your options increase with better neighborhoods bordering Dominican areas.

When I will go to atlanta, I will introduce your wife to some dominicans that I know. Believe me, there is huge latino community in atlanta area.
AZB

it sounds like many of the comments here are from dominicans that are semi-americanized. i would like to hear what the transition is like from maybe a male/female that lived in some of the poorer areas in the DR and came to america cold turkey. i want to hear what their experiences were and how they dealt with it. reason being is i am curious and would like to be prepared for my fiance when she comes to live in the US with me. just want to be a little prepared for any emotional changes or cultural shock if any.

cdi

cdi_747 said:

just want to be a little prepared for any emotional changes or cultural shock if any.

cdi

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First of all American toilet paper is not interchangable with sandpaper, and after used, it doesn't have to go in a can.

From a practical perspective, that'll be one of her very first lessons...

http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/42010-relocating-dominican-101-a.html

Snuffy - take a look at this thread. There was some good information about the adjustment process.

I have watched over the last 2+ years as my girlfriend adjusted successfully to life in the US after living her first 20 years in DR. The most important factors in her successful acclimation have been:

1. Semi annual trips home - this way she was never more than 6 months away from seeing her family. In the beginning and from time to time subsequently homesickness can creep up.

2. Fellow Dominicans in the area - she has become friendly with the family that runs the bodega at the end of the block so that is a good support system.

3. Keeping busy - the more school work and other work that she has the more she can be a functioning member of society.

4. Willingness to try new things - there are a lot fun, interesting, cultural events and places that most Dominicans don't venture out of their neighborhoods to see but my girlfriend has been happy to explore with me and by herself.

I'll see if I come up with some more ideas on the subject later as they come to me

Snuffy said:

Surely some Dominicans will have something to share with us.

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im with you snuffy. this site has been very informative in some regards but its turning out to be 80% of a "lets see who we can smack in the face" site and the 20% informative.

Surely some Dominicans will have something to share with us.


cdi

Family

I can't speak for myself, because I definitely fall into the "americanized" category. However, I have family, (cousins and aunts and uncles) who've come here and it was at first a little bit of a shock because as you mentioned, the warm and affectionate nature of our people is simply non-existent in places like, let's say NYC. People are a bit more closed up- not a social- at least not with strangers. I recommend, as someone else mentioned, keeping busy- not neccessarily with work always. There are wonderful social outlets that you can take advantage of- depending on where you decide to settle- your local church can be a great place to meet people, the local YMCA or community center offers great opportunities for not just networking, but learning- many offer various classes including fitness (swimming, yoga, martial arts, tri-athalon training) and just general clubs or even sporting teams (there's basketball and soccer in many places- and for others, there are belly dancing classes, knitting, astronomy, cultural studies) and many other events. You'd be surprised at how many people they'd meet and how much they'd learn. What surprising is that usually when someone moves to a city, they are able to appreciate it far more than someone born and raised there because they are sort of like the outsiders looking in. They find all the cool new things to do and are able to praise things that others take for granted.

In any event, I hope it all turns out ok. Best of luck with your move and getting settled.

Spanish Harlem

My first interest in the DR came from visiting a friend 10 years ago who lived on 168th. and Broadway..This area from about 155th.st to 185th. is where the majority of the Dominican society resides..The St. Nicholas and 168th. area is like being in Santo Domingo...Minus the weather of course.......

There will be culture shock and homesickness no matter what you do. When Yris came to Canada there wasn't any Dominicans in our town of 30,000 but there were Mexicans, El Salvadorians...etc. I knew many of them and introduced her within the first couple of days. The key for her adjustment was starting ESL Classes immediately because she loves to learn and also she met a lot of new Canadians that although not Spanish speaking had just as hard a time learning English as she did. She became very good friends with a girl from Denmark and another girl from Bosnia. The local Philipino girls took a liking to her and they helped her out a lot with how things work in Canada.
Join a multi-cultural club/society and allow plenty of phone calls home. Just remember how frustrating the DR can be for you, and remember that what seems natural and organised to you , may be foreign, strange, and even stupid to her.

Chris_NJ said:

http://www.dr1.com/forums/men-mars-women-venus/42010-relocating-dominican-101-a.html

I'll see if I come up with some more ideas on the subject later as they come to me

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Thank you for the info. This is perfect and I would like to hear more. My fiance hopefully will adjust the same way.

cdi

I know that George Washington High School in Washington Heights offers english night classes for dominicans. This seems to me a great idea because then a dominican will see that she is not the only one struggling with the language and will not feel so isolated. Believe me, this will make a HUGE difference.

Also, Hostos Community College in the Bronx has a VERY high percentage of dominicans. Even though its' in the Bronx, the campus is actually quite nice and welcomes immigrants with no problems. This would be a way to-

1) Network for friends within the dominican community
2) Go to college and expand horizons
3) Not feel as homesick

If you want I can send you some pics of the campus so you can get an idea of what I'm talking about.

Snuffy said:

I suppose when you talk about New York you are talking to others on this thread. I, myself, indicated that I will be in Atlanta Georgia. But I always wanted to live in New York City for one year.

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Snuffy some answers to your question now that we know where you will live is right here under your nose in DR1. Also click back to page 1.
All the best


http://www.dr1.com/forums/dominicans-abroad/56696-any-dominicans-atlanta-georgia-2.html

Snuffy said:

I suppose when you talk about New York you are talking to others on this thread. I, myself, indicated that I will be in Atlanta Georgia. But I always wanted to live in New York City for one year.

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Sorry. For some reason I thought you were talking about NYC. But my offers still stands for anyone in your situation who is looking at making NYC their home base.

Dance is good...

Snuffy said:

I would like to hear from anyone who has had a difficult time adapting to life in the USA. This support systems would act as sort of a bridge into the new world.

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I volunteer a lot with Spanish speaking immigrants in Toronto who are learning English and struggling with settlement in North America.

My observations:
You need to watch for any signs of culture shock (withdrawal, shutdown) and let her know she?s not alone in this experience.
Break the isolation. Meet new people.
Find good ESL language instruction, but find some Spanish-speaking friends as well.

ESL Atlanta Resources
International Community Organizations

Organizations
International Community Organizations

Stay close as a family, get busy with fitness to help with the stress, go for walks and talk about everything. They will need to make friends because culture shock and homesickness are the two biggest issues they will face.

With your daughter
Children adapt very easily but finding friends through Girls Scouts (Hermanitas) might help. Also from my personal experience as a mother, children need to have some extracurricular activity that will give them some self-esteem and community. Ballet (jazz, hip hop) classes were great for my daughter (confidence, grace, poise, stage presence, plus all the girls and boys are very nice children to associate with.)

Dance as the cure for all that ails you!
Dance is also very important to me, I take salsa classes and I?ve met 100-200 people through the various dance studios where I?ve taken lessons. You could do that as a couple in Atlanta. You don?t need English to dance; your wife would be at an advantage if she can already dance merengue/bachata and might feel comfortable in a dance class. (It?s also fun to watch the gringos learn to dance. Laughter is good medicine.) You could go out dancing together in Atlanta.

Dance Links for Atlanta
Atlanta Dance Directory - Atlanta Dance World

Salsa Meetup in Atlanta
The Atlanta Salsa Meetup Group (Atlanta, GA) - Meetup.com

Sounds like you are a very supportive husband and your wife and daughter are in good hands. Best of luck to you!