Am I naive...

[Unit5]

Hi All,
Newbie here from Ontario, Canada. I wanted to get the your input or opinion on the scenario I will describe below.

Last December I met a lady that worked in a resort in Cabarete. She is young (29) and beautiful. I am in my forties and single. We hit it off and I ended up falling for her. We have been texting and video calling everyday since. She like many Dominicans, is a single mom with 2 young kids (2 and 4). No father around and no support payments. Many in my circle have warned me against this relationship suggesting that she just wants money. To that end, I have given her money for a damaged phone, driving lessons, travel to see her parents in Rio San Juan, help pay her children's care-giver etc. Now we are not talking of thousands here, but a few hundred dollars. By no means am I rich, but it's what I can afford. Recently she was let go at her job due to the "low season". This translates to more funds being transferred to support her and her kids. Her fan recently broke and so this too will need replacing. My question is : Am I the only one or are there a few who fall into this situation? The question is does she love me or the money because lets face it, the situation is dire for many Dominicans. Thoughts?

 

[william webster]

No matter how you slice it ... the money will always be a component.
Doesn't mean she thinks less of you..... just part of the package.

She brings certain things to the table too - part of the package

 

[Unit5]

No matter how you slice it ... the money will always be a component.
Doesn't mean she thinks less of you..... just part of the package.

She brings certain things to the table too - part of the package

That was fast! Thank you William. Food for thought!

 

[jd426]

Nonsense ..
You are a Special Person in her Life .. It sounds like true Love to me.
I think maybe you are not doing enough .. Maybe think about working just a couple of extra hours so she can take care of his kids and family properly , so when you return she can show your her appreciation .
It sounds like you have found the ONE... dont let go ... treat her Good and you will reap the rewards ...
Your story brought a smile to my face .

 

[Northern Coast Diver]

Many of us are married to good Dominican women. But for each of us that has a stable long term relationship, there are 50 stories of relationships that end poorly, to say the least. Good luck! At some point the truth will become obvious.

 

[melphis]

Run away as fast as you can. You and countless others have fallen for this and more will follow. Let the big head do the thinking.
Did I mention run.

 

[Harleyssuck]

Run. Why would a guy in his forties want 2 young children. You are a wallet and nothing more

 

[bob saunders]

quid pro situation - what do you get out of it?

 

[Joseph NY2STI]

The friends who told you she only wants money are wrong. She wants a new phone, a new fan, clothes, travel expenses, and child support. But not money.
If you can't summon the courage to ghost her, then just tell her you lost your job and are now broke. Then count the number of times she calls and texts you.
On one hand. With fingers left over.

 

[El Hijo de Manolo]

So to summarize. Next steps should be to air drop a satchel full of cash over the island with a note saying distribute as needed

 

[Meemselle]

If the title of your post is "am I naive?" you are.

 

[Big]

if she is 29 and beautiful like you say, she has 13 other dudes just like you. Having said that if you post a picture of her preferably in a bikini, we will be better able to advise you.

 

[El Hijo de Manolo]

if she is 29 and beautiful like you say, she has 13 other dudes just like you. Having said that if you post a picture of her preferably in a bikini, we will be better able to advise you.

29 is getting up there wow.

 

[CristoRey]

if she is 29 and beautiful like you say, she has 13 other dudes just like you. Having said that if you post a picture of her preferably in a bikini, we will be better able to advise you.

I was going to say something similar.
The odds of the above mentioned are easily 10 to 1.

 

[JD Jones]

if she is 29 and beautiful like you say, she has 13 other dudes just like you. Having said that if you post a picture of her preferably in a bikini, we will be better able to advise you.

Only 13?

I had two employees of mine (overweight single mothers with nothing special) who have dozens of men who write to them and send them money.

Like the man said, tell her you lost your job and see what happens.

 

[Gadfly]

“…My question is : Am I the only one or are there a few who fall into this situation? The question is does she love me or the money…”

There are more than a few. Muchos.
She needs money, you’re a walking dollar sign.

 

[ramesses]

What are the odds this is a thread that was started just for a reaction?

 

[NotLurking]

What are the odds this is a thread that was started just for a reaction?

Good question. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that the OP should not get discouraged. Love can be found in the most unlikely places and he may be the exception. She may really love him or at least most of him....wallet

When the OP find himself with an emptied bank account, he can rest easy knowing that he found that special someone. When the landlord send him an eviction notice and dispossess him for non-payment he'll feel great because he did the right thing of helping his unemployed love with her two kids.

Life is too short to involve oneself in such trivial things as critical thinking. Just follow the heart and believe the things that validate you; a twenty-something in love with you. Life is good. OP you should get three jobs so you'll never run out of funds and you can keep this love affair going. Don't bother to visit her as any needs other than money are probably taken care by the babies father. He's the handyman and personal night watchmen. I wish you the best. Any timeline for the wedding you can share?

 

[CristoRey]

Good question. I don't know the answer. What I do know is that the OP should not get discouraged. Love can be found in the most unlikely places and he may be the exception. She may really love him or at least most of him....wallet

When the OP find himself with an emptied bank account, he can rest easy knowing that he found that special someone. When the landlord send him an eviction notice and dispossess him for non-payment he'll feel great because he did the right thing of helping his unemployed love with her two kids.

Life is too short to involve oneself in such trivial things as critical thinking. Just follow the heart and believe the things that validate you; a twenty-something in love with you. Life is good. OP you should get three jobs so you'll never run out of funds and you can keep this love affair going. Don't bother to visit her as any needs other than money are probably taken care by the babies father. He's the handyman and personal night watchmen. I wish you the best. Any timeline for the wedding you can share?

If there's one thing I've learned having spent the better part of the last two decades living in
"developing" countries its how to show empathy towards locals without feeling the need to
support them financially. I am beyond careful/ selective when it comes to who I share my money
with down here.

 

[chico bill]

Sometimes I wonder what some of the better looking girls can rake in.
I think it could rival CEO pay for some of the more skillful working the right crowd (which isn't Cabarete).
After all Big Papi's side piece got a brand new Lexus for $85 K. And I do not even find her attractive (ok a little....)