another bad ending,here we go again...

[SKing]

I am so sorry that this happened to you. What goes around comes around, I believe in that.
My husband, although not Dominican, spent all his time in clubs and with other women also. He was also selling drugs. When I kicked him out of my house he lived 6 months of LUXURY (he was a drug transporter), he didn't give me money for my kids (although at the time he was rolling in $$) or came on his own to see them (I had to take them to see HIM).
6 months later, all the sh*t hit the fan, the police had been building a case against him for at least 9 months, they wanted him bad.
Now that dog is in prison where he will be for a long time, writing sad stories about how he wants to see his kids and if I can send him $10 or $20 to buy deodorant and toiletries.
I told him where he could go and have not ever responded to a letter nor taken my children to that jail.
See how things change??? His family, and every single woman he had have abadoned him.
Give it time...........he is gonna hurt and hurt bad. Cause life's a b*tch, when you act like an a**hole.
SHALENA

 

[jettannie]

No he is not a child who refuses to grow up. He is s perfect psychopat. Look it up girl . You will be amazed what they can do. I know, I am married to one who is 77 years old and no change. You don't cry, thank your lucky stars he s gone and don't ever ever think taking him back ,he will never change just keep breaking your heart and your bank account

 

[AnnaC]

No he is not a child who refuses to grow up. He is s perfect psychopat. Look it up girl . You will be amazed what they can do. I know, I am married to one who is 77 years old and no change. You don't cry, thank your lucky stars he s gone and don't ever ever think taking him back ,he will never change just keep breaking your heart and your bank account

Characteristics of a Psychopath or Sociopath​

• superficial charm​
• self-centered & self-important​
• need for stimulation & prone to boredom​
• deceptive behavior & lying​
• conning & manipulative​
• little remorse or guilt​
• shallow emotional response​
• callous with a lack of empathy​
• living off others or predatory attitude​
• poor self-control​
• promiscuous sexual behavior​
• early behavioral problems​
• lack of realistic long term goals​
• impulsive lifestyle​
• irresponsible behavior​
• blaming others for their actions​
• short term relationships​
• juvenile delinquency​
• breaking parole or probation​
• varied criminal activity​

 

[DRob]

Characteristics of a Psychopath or Sociopath​

• superficial charm​
• self-centered & self-important​
• need for stimulation & prone to boredom​
• deceptive behavior & lying​
• conning & manipulative​
• little remorse or guilt​
• shallow emotional response​
• callous with a lack of empathy​
• living off others or predatory attitude​
• poor self-control​
• promiscuous sexual behavior​
• early behavioral problems​
• lack of realistic long term goals​
• impulsive lifestyle​
• irresponsible behavior​
• blaming others for their actions​
• short term relationships​
• juvenile delinquency​
• breaking parole or probation​
• varied criminal activity​

With the exception of the last three, much of that could easily explain a selfish individual without criminal tendencies.

 

[jrhartley]

Most of that list seems to apply to me

 

[AnnaC]

In an American study they found psychopathic behaviour in 1 out of 20 men and 1 out of 100 women. Pamela Jayne, MA suggests that every 1 out of 10 men is psychopathic.

Most of the search results say about the same sociopathic personality - Google Search

It's no wonder a good man is hard to find :ermm:


I also personally think that if one wants to go fishing and is a true fisherman ( read sankie) one has to go where the fish ( read tourists) are located, therefore.........you got it!!!!

 

[Malibook]

In an American study they found psychopathic behaviour in 1 out of 20 men and 1 out of 100 women. Pamela Jayne, MA suggests that every 1 out of 10 men is psychopathic.

Were they born like this or is it because of women like Pamela? :ermm:

 

[catcherintherye]

I think the more telling traits are these:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

These 15 traits help to eliminate many who are not actual sociopaths. Also many women exhibit these traits as well as men, and are sometimes considered to be the more devious of the sexes.

 

[Alyonka]

I think the more telling traits are these:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

These 15 traits help to eliminate many who are not actual sociopaths. Also many women exhibit these traits as well as men, and are sometimes considered to be the more devious of the sexes.

Exactly, I have seen these traits in one person. It felt like this person came "close." There was nothing "close" about it - just his HUGE ego pressing on my nerves as well as several deception and intimidation techniques used all at the same time.

 

[? bient?t]

Exactly, I have seen these traits in one person. It felt like this person came "close." There was nothing "close" about it - just his HUGE ego pressing on my nerves as well as several deception and intimidation techniques used all at the same time.

I didn't think I was that bad.

But, for what it's worth, paranoia does strike deep. It starts when I'm always afraid.

 

[catcherintherye]

"But, for what it's worth, paranoia does strike deep. It starts when I'm always afraid."

Don't step out of line, or the man will come and take you away.

I'm buffaloed. Springfield?

 

[margaret]

hello, i`d like to share my story with everyone. i met my husband 5 years ago in a hotel where he was working at, travelled 4 times within that year to see him and finally married after one year. He arrived in montreal & soon after one month, i was pregnant, we spoke about having babies before. The problems soon started, his lies began and secrets too, clubs, drinking, women etc... When I was 4 months pregnant, he left me & moved to Toronto to be with his dominican friends. I had the baby alone without him, came to see my daughter only once & that was because his family was after his back to see her. When my daughter was 6 months pregnant, i filed for divorce. 1 month after the divorce was final, he decided he wanted to come back & live the family life because he was tired of the club life. I brought him to church & made him promise me inside the house of God that he would change and stop the clubs, women, etc.... He was so sincere that day, what an actor he was. So for the sake of giving my daughter a dad & family life, I took him back, cleaned all his debts he had in Toronto and started fresh. We even bought a house in the DR, took the loan here together for it. Well, it lasted of all 10 months being together. Soon after he came back, his lies and secrets began all over but this time he was good at hiding it from me. His latest woman was a child of age 15 years old!! Imagine !! Long story short, he was never home for me nor for my daughter so I threw him out the day after my daughter`s birthday party when i found out he took our daughter`s birthday money she rec`d from family & spent it for himself. Unfortunately, by then, my bank account & savings was all cleaned out. He is now living with a friend paying rent for a room only. He abandoned my daughter, doesn`t want to help pay for his half of the loan either for the house we bought together and doesn`t want to pay for child support. Well I called the gov`t and now is collecting child support plus i`m getting child support arrears from when my daughter was born..so he owes me from the past 2 years. This made him furious, hasn`t called since then, not even to ask how his daughter was doing. I`ve been trying to sell the house in the DR but it`s so hard when i am here. My ex, left me paying all the loan plus my living expenses here plus daycare, etc... I struggle every month trying to pay everything, feel really bad for my daughter that her father took money from her and abandoned her. I hear from his friends he is meeting young girls every weekend at clubs, taking salsa lessons and having the time of his life. What a horrible father and human being he is, don`t know how he sleeps at night ! But I do believe in karma....he will get what he deserves. Like someone put in her blog not long ago......he may be young & good looking now, but he will get old one day too and his luck will change. I may be in debt and cry often about my situation but at night, when i hold my 2 yr old daughter in my arms, all the pain goes away. To all the women, thinking dating or thinking of marrying a dominican, please open your eyes...not everyone is the same but most of them think alike. Mine this has the mind of a child who does not want to grow up nor face his responsabilities. by the way, forgot to mention, he has a 9 yr daughter in the DR too which he abandoned for his freedom.

I'm sorry to hear you had this experience. I'm not so sure about karma because a lot of people get away with this sort of thing but for sure he's the big loser. You're a pretty amazing woman to have taken him back, not many women would do that. Who knows maybe that day in the church he really meant to change and turn things around but having the mind and attention span of a child, he couldn't. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, I just think that you saw something in him and maybe it wasn't ALL a lie and a scam.

You accomplished alot. Paid all those bills, purchased a property. That was you that did that so I'm sure you'll get through this. Don't feel sorry for your daughter, she has an amazing mother who's going to look out for her and I bet one day she'll have a great step-father in her life. I hope you get your money out of that property in the DR, since you paid for it. If you do great. Put your energy into this and stop thinking about him and his lifestyle. He's a loser. No more tears, be strong and enjoy your beautiful daughter. Your BEST years are still to come!

 

[Lapurr]

Look at it this way!!

Abused,

You have an AMAZING gift from God!!
your little girl ..you are so lucky to have a daughter...she loves you more than anything in the world!! Love her, spoil her...spend every precious momet with her!!

It's unfortunate that too many children around the world are fatherless, but these kids grow up to be strong, beautiful, smart & independant....the apple doesnt fall too far from the tree!! I trust you are an amazing mother!! Good Luck to you...you really are blessed!

My daughter will be 18 tomorrow!! she's my best friend!:bunny:

 

[Lambada]

For those reading up on sociopaths/psychopaths here is some more stuff. I'm not sure that most of the Dominican users who marry foreigners & then behave in the disastrous way that 'abused' describes, do have personality disorders, but the classics for NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Malignant Narcissism) are when someone displays any 5 out of 9:
1) Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
2) Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
3) Believes that he or she is "special" and unique.
4) Requires excessive admiration.
5) Has a sense of entitlement.
6) Is interpersonally exploitative.
7) Lacks empathy.
8) Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her.
9) Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder

This is NOT a mental illness, it is a personality disorder. And everyone needs a degree of narcissism to survive - that is different from malignant narcissism. Course it isn't confined to any nationality, age group etc. In fact it has been known in the DR for certain expats to exhibits these traits.....

abused, sounds like you've come a long way in two years. What a wonderful model of strength & resilience for your daughter to emulate.

 

[Alyonka]

I didn't think I was that bad.

But, for what it's worth, paranoia does strike deep. It starts when I'm always afraid.

Maybe not that bad, it is hard to remember right now. But this is exactly how according to the research I read it is described - it feels that this person is "close" to you, although you don't really know him/her. People with overgrown ego are capable of suppressing those weaker around them who might not even understand what exactly is going on. They can misinterpret this feeling for being "in love" and become victims. The way to deal with any kind of BS of this nature is to be smart, confident and nice despite of what anyone around you says or does.

OP ? I wish you all the best. Please keep us posed on how things are going with you and your child.

 

[? bient?t]

Maybe not that bad, it is hard to remember right now.

Well, I remember. And you're right: not that bad, for after all was said and done, I looked like a jigsaw puzzle... with a couple of pieces gone.

 

[Alyonka]

Well, I remember. And you're right: not that bad, for after all was said and done, I looked like a jigsaw puzzle... with a couple of pieces gone.

Are you my consciousness? aranoid:

Is it possible that a lot of people possess at least some of the qualities listed in this thread at least at some point in their life - when they are young and silly, for example? I finally managed to get rid of them, I think

 

[? bient?t]

Are you my consciousness? aranoid:

Is it possible that a lot of people possess at least some of the qualities listed in this thread at least at some point in their life - when they are young and silly, for example? I finally managed to get rid of them, I think

Aly-baby, you know I was only jokin', right? Just having fun with lyrics and stuff.

By the way, I miss you.

 

[abused]

sorry for answering back late, do not go on this site oftern , had to get rid of my internet at home, no choice but to cut back on expenses until my property in the DR sells. thank you for the encouragement, i have no choice but to take things day by day.

 

[abused]

what you wrote is so true...