I have lived here for a year and a half now. Granted, I spend almost NO time in traditional expat/tourist areas, so I may have a skewed perspective.
A few things I have learned from my own experience:
-I will never be confused as a Dominican, no matter how I dress or speak.
-Dominicans see everything you (a foreigner) do. They are masters of observation.
-Lower class Dominicans will start conversations with you. Upper class Dominicans rarely will.
-Do not confuse being cordial with acceptance, especially with the upper class.
-WHAT you know is secondary to WHO you know. But once you know folks, they will be greatly appreciative about what you know and doors open everywhere.
-You hang with the lower class and you will NEVER be accepted in upper class society.
-I cannot change Dominican society, so I won't endure the frustration of trying.
-They know who the whores are. If you're ever seen with one, you will be branded as a whoremonger in higher social circles, a classification that is inescapable.
-Upper class Dominicans probably speak more English than you do Spanish. But they appreciate your efforts to speak Spanish while here.
-Whatever you were where you came from, you are that here. You can't leave yourself behind.
-Not everyone's life here revolves around Presidente, Brugal, meringue and barrio chicas.
-You're often trusted more than a Dominican BECAUSE you're not a Dominican. This may be especially true in business.
-Never, ever, as a foreigner, talk about Dominican politics in company that you do not know well and are not family unless ASKED. They may not say anything to you, but you will be forever branded as an undesireable busybody meddling in their affairs.
-Few dominicans will tell you what they think of you to your face. Never confuse this with acceptance.
-It's not PC here. Being PC brands you as somewhat of a fool to many.
-There ARE good cops and military. They will tell you who to be suspicious of.
-Many Good Dominicans look at many of the tourist areas and expat communities as blights in their country. They understand the economic impact, but they also see the cultural filth many bring with them and think it degrades the country they love. Most would never be caught dead in places like Sosua, Las Terenas or Boca Chica.
-Never let your guard down. That's not to say never leave your home alone and live in a fortress, but be vigilant, establish a routine of checking, lighting and locking, and be unpredictible in your daily habits.
-An occasional surprise lunchtime pizza delivered to the local head of AMET, PN, PM or Politur does an amazing job of gaining access when needed.
-Leave the fancy stuff at home. In a culture of "wannabe's", you just tempt fate.
The DR is a wonderful place, and I am most happy to be living here. I love the sense of family, the respect and love afforded elders, and the genuinely happy and helpful nature of the people. I enjoy 'living with less" and being away from the commercial and cultural distractions of my home country. I no longer find lack of 100% dependable services-water, roads, electricity, etc.-especially bothersome...unless the inverter acts up. I've found a different kind of serenity here that would be difficult to give up. I know I'm not invisible, but I try to be low-key and unobtrusive.
I am a visitor in their culture. I need to respect them more than I need to be respected.
).
