Civilization Or Barbarism???

[Memon7]

You Know...

This is good!

I mean this board is really informative. But have you notice we're getting NO responses from the ladies on this subject.

I wonder why because I know out of all the member's on this board... there must be a least a few women reading this thread. So if youz ladies out there "lurkin' " around in the background show thyself and speak up, I would like to hear a "womb-man" perspective on a "womb-man's" behavior.

C'mon... holla at cha boy! :bandit:

And you know Bill11... I've read your post and RE-READ a few times and I've come to understand this... (like I stated before) a committment and relationships and marriage must not be for me because I continue to ask, why go through all the silly mind games of "giving love then taking it away" and "showing love and attention BUT NOT TO MUCH" crap! I mean ain't that a contradiction to the nature of who we really are as social beings?

I mean I can how this would all work out (say for instance) if I were dealing with a woman with a seriously DYSFUNCTIONAL family background where she didn't have a good relationship with her father...

Ooooooooooh snap... wait a minute...

That would explain why all my relationships were DYSFUNCTIONAL because (most if not ALL) the women I've dated had very bad relationships with their fathers... some didn't even know who the father was... daaaaaaaamn!

Okay I'm really trippin' now!

Yeah I think I need to give chill with myself for a while.

 

[stock]

Thats right

What I've been saying all along, "a man in loveis no good to a women"

Can I get an AMEN!!

From my experience in the dating game (I am settling down now, but the memories are vivid :classic: ), women are a complex version of humanity.

Us guys, life is rather simple compared to women.

When we go to the store to buy a particular item, we go in, we get what we went there for, and we go out.

With women, they go in, they get what they went in for and extras, and after falling for all the marketing traps, they come out with more than they intended.

That is only one example of thousands of simple tasks that are made complicated by women.

So it will be no surprise that they are confusing as hell when it comes to dating and love, etc.

One thing that I have learned is that women want what they don't have and/or what they have but they perceive to be losing. Thus, when you are single (and you have the looks if she is into that or the personality or both) she wants you.

Then the dating starts and everything that implies and this is where most guys fall into trouble.

Many guys think that dealing with a woman while in love is like everything else in a man's world where we can pretty much put it on "autopilot". BIG MISTAKE!

Women need a reason to put more attention to you. If you pamper here 24/7, oh they are going to love your for it... in the beginning. After a while, they loose their steam towards it, because YOU become predictable to them.

Predictability is a major enemy in these things.

Thus, when you back away from her enough for her to notice, she WILL notice and think a host of none sense including "Am I pretty enough for him, did he find someone else, is he bored with me, etc etc etc". Thus, she wants to reaffirm herself that she still "got" you and that you are not being bastard and cheating on her.

Thus, she puts more attention to you. This includes, getting new looks (when they change their hair color, that is almost always a HUGE SIGN of this), they dress nicer, they do a million things to themselves and you notice a change in attitude from them, ie. being more closer, appreciative, etc.

Basically, that is how it goes. You get close for a while, then get out of her way for a while, and you get close again, etc etc etc.

The entire time, she is in control because WE (the men) are the one's who have to maneuver this back and forth deal in order for HER to be satisfied.

I don't know if this is only Dominican women since I have only dated Dominican women and only one non-Dominican who is from Colombia. I have dated whites and some mulatas, but of upper echelons of society. I don't know if that has an effect on them as oppose to middle class or masses.

BTW, being "romantic" goes a long way. Romantic not in the sense of talking sweet everythings, blah blah blah, but surprising her once in a while. You know, without letting her know one night surprisingly give her a nice massage, or before going to work (if you live in with her) leave a simple hand written message saying "I LOVE YOU" somewhere visible in the house, etc.

Be very cautious with this, because this is meant to be only ONCE A WHILE! They will appreciate random acts of appreciation towards her and it shows when the sun goes down.....

Plus, those little things also reaffirms your love for her, if you truly love her.

Those are my 2 centavos!

 

[hollywood north]

Not from me....

it all works both ways.
This 'arguement' will never be put to an end.

What about all those boys with issues surrounding their mamas? The ones that only know how to show one emotion (anger) or none at all?
Generalizations suck.

Guess I am one of the minority that really digs men, doesn't read the myriad of man-hating joke emails that get circulated, and do not look at a guy as a walking wallet, or car what kind of car they have (well, maybe if it's RED!!!) LOL - I am blonde afterall.....

I think anyone that experiences problems withe dating/love/keeping a relationship needs to first look closely at themselves - male or female.
Thank you

 

[Memon7]

...bbbooooooinnng!

Not from me....

it all works both ways.
This 'arguement' will never be put to an end.

What about all those boys with issues surrounding their mamas? The ones that only know how to show one emotion (anger) or none at all?
Generalizations suck.

Guess I am one of the minority that really digs men, doesn't read the myriad of man-hating joke emails that get circulated, and do not look at a guy as a walking wallet, or car what kind of car they have (well, maybe if it's RED!!!) LOL - I am blonde afterall.....

I think anyone that experiences problems withe dating/love/keeping a relationship needs to first look closely at themselves - male or female.
Thank you

...sooooooooooo, I take it you're female?!?!

And if so, you mean to tell me that you're the type of woman that actually like "nice" guys that are respectful and giving to the level of his our nature as a man to look out after his woman??? So you actually get into dating the so-called nice guys?!?

See... I'm not generalizing because I want YOU to answer that question honestly! Even if your name is "HOLLYWOOD NORTH"!

Yeah I know where "Hollywood North" is located... uh HUH! :ermm:

 

[hollywood north]

Yes I am and yes indeed. And I can cook too!!! LOL

In fact I now live with someone that is sweet, respectful, caring, smart and hilarious....as well as a great musician nad a kick axx 3d animator. No-not the Heineken swilling skirt chasing musician LOL!!! Hell he doesn't even have a car right now. It is mutual respect, dreams and desires that work well.

I have many men friends too, all very intelligent, fun and of all ages. So you see there are exceptions to all generalizations - in fact a lot of the guys I know ask me to find 'em someone like me... (toot toot on my own horn)....

I imagine that if you were to read some of my previous posts you would get to know a bit more about me - having been on this board for a few years as HN and a few more before that but my member ID was lost.

I DO understand what a lot of men that post here mean about the kind of women they meet and how they are all byatchy money/status/focussed...and I see a lot of that as well as hear similar from some of my friends. I just feel that it's important to let you know that there are others out there that are worthwhile.

I was single for eight years because I have met my share of not so great guys (never lacking for errr.... fun of course, but we both understood that's what it was and I can still count them as friends)....and the word I used a lot was NEXT!!!! I have no patience or time for games, lies and lowlife people of any gender.

HN

 

[NALs]

What I've been saying all along, "a man in loveis no good to a women"

Can I get an AMEN!!

AMEN!!!

:laugh:

 

[0oBambinao0]

MONEY is what matters here. If you have money you have a beautifull YOUNG girl,"LOVE",sex and you will be cared of.
If you are looking for a girl who LOOKS hot and sexy-Yes.(my opinion) Who will care of you - Yes, this this WOULD BE the right place but Love very doubt about that. And believe me whomen are whomen everywhere as well men and people in general.

Right on. If you get 2gether with a dominican chick, and ur the one w/ the money, u will never really know why she is with you (for u or for the $$), unless and until the money runs out I guess the real question is what exactly ur looking for; whereas - buddies seem to be 'a dime a dozen' (well, mb a bit more than that), life mates r a bit more difficult to find, here as well as everywhere else...gl2u.

 

[Memon7]

...yeah Okay!

Yes I am and yes indeed. And I can cook too!!! LOL

In fact I now live with someone that is sweet, respectful, caring, smart and hilarious....as well as a great musician nad a kick axx 3d animator. No-not the Heineken swilling skirt chasing musician LOL!!! Hell he doesn't even have a car right now. It is mutual respect, dreams and desires that work well.

I have many men friends too, all very intelligent, fun and of all ages. So you see there are exceptions to all generalizations - in fact a lot of the guys I know ask me to find 'em someone like me... (toot toot on my own horn)....

I imagine that if you were to read some of my previous posts you would get to know a bit more about me - having been on this board for a few years as HN and a few more before that but my member ID was lost.

I DO understand what a lot of men that post here mean about the kind of women they meet and how they are all byatchy money/status/focussed...and I see a lot of that as well as hear similar from some of my friends. I just feel that it's important to let you know that there are others out there that are worthwhile.

I was single for eight years because I have met my share of not so great guys (never lacking for errr.... fun of course, but we both understood that's what it was and I can still count them as friends)....and the word I used a lot was NEXT!!!! I have no patience or time for games, lies and lowlife people of any gender.

HN

Okay so I guess it's safe to say that you are into your guy all out of "love"???

You say he's a musician, has no car, and yet you're still with him??? I don't know... on a good day I've never EVER met woman (not even my female friends) that generally likes a man just because. Maybe it's because of all my heartbreaks and allowing myself to be played and made a fool of that I'm very cynical now!

So are you close to your father, brother, uncle, or some other male "father" figure in your family?

C'mon and holla at cha boy... I'm learning something from you

 

[hollywood north]

Yes that is correct. And yes a musician with a cool, creative day job - I work too but the job..... :bored: It was much more fun going on tour with the band as Tour Manager!!

I have met and dated guys with the cash, cars etc., been taken on vacation and all that, but I just cannot spend my valuable time with someone simply because of the material things...if they are not making me laugh, challenging me intellectually, or are simply braggarts (as has been the case many times - hell I don't care about your penthouse condo/beemer/bank account - if it's not in my name big deal LOL!!). Granted 'things' are always nice, but they lose their lustre when the price is spending time with someone you would rather not be with.

I think part of this stems from my upbringing - I was taught that I did not have to depend on a man to survive - I was taught I can do just about anything I put my mind to - and money/cars/homes can all disappear but good character does not.

Conversely many women are often brought up with the mind set that they should "marry well" as a source of security - here in Canada as well. I can also understand how some women are drawn to guys (example tourist dudes and Dominican girls) and see them as a meal ticket.

With respect to your question about relationships with male family members....my Dad and I didn't always get along - he drank too much - was a complete a--hole a lot of the time, but for over the last 20 years of sobriety our relationship is great - we joke, have travelled together, and he is an invaluable source of support and life info for me....so yes I guess that has made a diference as well..but it is important to note that it was not always like that.

Many of the characteristics I like in a man are ones that I want in a friend as well.

My main point all along has been that there are exceptions out there in every country - and that you should not give up. I have met my share of real 'winners' believe me, and been hurt too however I try and learn from each experience and from that I know what is really important to me.

Also - do NOT compromise on the characteristics that are really the most important to you. Yes, in a relationship there is always compromise, but that's in the actual building stage...not the planning stage in my POV.

hn

Okay so I guess it's safe to say that you are into your guy all out of "love"???

You say he's a musician, has no car, and yet you're still with him??? I don't know... on a good day I've never EVER met woman (not even my female friends) that generally likes a man just because. Maybe it's because of all my heartbreaks and allowing myself to be played and made a fool of that I'm very cynical now!

So are you close to your father, brother, uncle, or some other male "father" figure in your family?

C'mon and holla at cha boy... I'm learning something from you

 

[gatoazul]

Hi Memon7

The world is full of good girls in every single country.

The first thing I've learned from women is not to expect. Become a friend and let thinghs flow. If she finds you attractive you will know and things will come easier. If she doesn't find you attractive she still can be your friend (and this adds possibilities to meet her female friends later).

Another thing I've learned is to enjoy relationships just as they are. I mean, if we are just hanging out, is ok; we are lovers, is ok; we are a real couple, is ok. Life is short and has different stages. Not all relations are equal. Try to be on the dance floor no matter what they are playing. Your song will come and it's better if you are warmed up, so you'll dance better.

Free yourself to date and and don't blame anyone for making mistakes (and never hurt a woman intentionally). We are in the world to learn from the mistakes we make. When the right girl arrives, with all the experience you'll be in a better position to love her and treat her the right way.

Let's say you are on a bar. You start talking to the guy next to you but he is not your friend. Maybe in a few weeks you see him again and talk a little more. Then you continue seeing each other and (thanks to the beers) you become best friends. Do the same with girls, let things flow and they will come. Oh yeah, they will come.

Good luck!!!



Ah I almost forgot, never, but never get committed without knowing a girl for real. That means at least one year. Love has no hurry.

 

[RHM]

The world is full of good girls in every single country.

The first thing I've learned from women is not to expect. Become a friend and let thinghs flow. If she finds you attractive you will know and things will come easier. If she doesn't find you attractive she still can be your friend (and this adds possibilities to meet her female friends later).

Another thing I've learned is to enjoy relationships just as they are. I mean, if we are just hanging out, is ok; we are lovers, is ok; we are a real couple, is ok. Life is short and has different stages. Not all relations are equal. Try to be on the dance floor no matter what they are playing. Your song will come and it's better if you are warmed up, so you'll dance better.

Free yourself to date and and don't blame anyone for making mistakes (and never hurt a woman intentionally). We are in the world to learn from the mistakes we make. When the right girl arrives, with all the experience you'll be in a better position to love her and treat her the right way.

Let's say you are on a bar. You start talking to the guy next to you but he is not your friend. Maybe in a few weeks you see him again and talk a little more. Then you continue seeing each other and (thanks to the beers) you become best friends. Do the same with girls, let things flow and they will come. Oh yeah, they will come.

Good luck!!!



Ah I almost forgot, never, but never get committed without knowing a girl for real. That means at least one year. Love has no hurry.

How dare you make sense!!! Be gone with you!!!

Scandall

 

[Memon7]

...Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?!?!

How dare you make sense!!! Be gone with you!!!

Scandall

What, what?!?!

That made no sense what so ever, basicallt what Duke was saying was... "okay I can truly be a friend to a woman that see me as a friend".... that's a wuss way out! in other words HE-HAS-NO-BALLS!

I ain't trying to be just a "friend" with a woman... I mean it is what it is, it's either you "feel" someone or you don't. No body want to spend there time playing emotional mind games. The male species is very simple... we want SEX, food, and more SEX! Like it or not that's the way it is. The great thing is... if we men do come across a great woman then we would take care of our lady and chilrdren (at least some of us).

All that other garbage he was saying was a waste of hot air!

The point is this... if I like a woman and she likes me then lets get the party started. Friends we'll always be... that's a given, but playing silly mind games like "I only see you as my FRIEND" crap... my reply would be "go screw yourself"! I got a pet fish that I consider my friend... I'm looking to have sex and enjoy the presence of a nice lady.

Screw that "friend" bullshyte! :beard:

 

[project9]

That made no sense what so ever, basicallt what Duke was saying was... "okay I can truly be a friend to a woman that see me as a friend".... that's a wuss way out! in other words HE-HAS-NO-BALLS!

The male species is very simple... we want SEX, food, and more SEX! Like it or not that's the way it is.

The point is this... if I like a woman and she likes me then lets get the party started. Friends we'll always be... that's a given, but playing silly mind games like "I only see you as my FRIEND" crap... my reply would be "go screw yourself"! I got a pet fish that I consider my friend... I'm looking to have sex and enjoy the presence of a nice lady.

Could this be the same person that wrote this at the begining of the thread?

What really chaps my A$$ is how some people on this board are so "jaded" void of emotions... makes me wonder if love, committment, trust, or even marriage still exist.

---

Make up your mind man, are you going to play the sensitive guy or the fat *** who spends the whole day sitting on a couch watching ESPN?

 

[HeadHunter]

Civilization or Barbarism

Class shows [Gatoazul] but no class shows most of all [Memon7]

 

[Memon7]

...fat A$$????

Could this be the same person that wrote this at the begining of the thread?




---

Make up your mind man, are you going to play the sensitive guy or the fat *** who spends the whole day sitting on a couch watching ESPN?

You sound real stupid right about now because you don't know me (I'm no where near being fat, in fact I'm rather hot! ) If you had even the smallest amount of brains of retarded monkey you would OVER-stand that from each of my post I'm speaking that same thing... it's obvious you "lurking" around the board reading my opinions. But what you lack is comprehension insomuch that I'm still chatting about "love, trust, relationship, and marriage"... I'm not jaded but a realist!

All my post are NOT void of emotion... because I'm still wanting a committed LOVING relationship. I just don't believe in frontin' and playing mind games with a woman! And I won't stand the mind games from a "Emp" (a woman with evil intentions)

All this is my true nature a man!!!

NOW TAKE A LESSON SON. :beard:

 

[project9]

Sure a lesson in lack of coherence and teenie angst could come pretty handy one day.

because I'm still wanting a committed LOVING relationship.

I'm looking to have sex and enjoy the presence of a nice lady.

You should update your definition of a "comitted LOVING relationship" because there's much more into that than just sex and the presence of a woman.

 

[DominicanScotty]

Nice comments

if you're going to the DR, meet some real DR people. My impression of their women changed when I left the tourist areas and met people who live there. What you need to do is whatever it is you do at home when you go on vacation. Hang out, run, play a little basketball, go to the movies etc. Don't sit around like some gringo tourist in some hooker bar(like I have done on MANY occasions) waiting for some ghetto trash to approach you.

I met some friends on the island the last time I was there and my experience was very different than on previous visits. It was an absolute pleasure to meet girls who are'nt hooker trash. My advice to you? Treat the garbage like garbage if you must be around them at all. But get out there and meet people. These women are NOT all the same, just like in any other country.

I enjoy reading some of these posts. Some of you guys really know what is going on here. Just like Yonkers, NY to South Beach, Miami to Sosua Beach, DR to Bonao, DR you will find good and bad! Rule of thumb here from someone that has been here a while. Stand at the water's edge and look inland. You are now facing the hills (the campo and beyond). Start searching there! Pretention and bullsh*t is all you are going to find anywhere near the beaches or resorts. There are decent Dominican chicas (men too) here. Just the same as your home town. If they are hanging out in smoke filled discotechs night after night chances are they aren't what you would want as a husband or wife. The scenery is different, the music is different, the culture is different but really deep down people are people!

 

[Memon7]

Uh Huh!

Sure a lesson in lack of coherence and teenie angst could come pretty handy one day.





You should update your definition of a "comitted LOVING relationship" because there's much more into that than just sex and the presence of a woman.

Yeah... I see you must be one of "those" people who have hang-ups on your own sexuality!

I'm fully aware that there is more to a women then just sex! :beard:

Jez... do all ya'll that shyte so damn serious on this board, I wasn't meaning for every damn word I state to be so literually!

lightne up would you... in fact... go have some great sex because I think you're WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY over do for some! :cross-eye

 

[Dragonfly32837]

This is a weird thread. :tired: