Dear DR1 people, I have a situation which is causing me a lot of turmoil. As I try to seek the correct way forward, I would greatly appreciate any thoughts, ideas, opinions and/or critisisms anyone may have. don?t really have anyone to discuss this. I would welcome a wide range of views. Thank you.
I am the legal British father of a two year old British/Dominican daughter. For the last two years my daughter has been living with her mother and I have been putting money into a bank account in the mother's name for my daughter's support for the last two years.
approximately three months ago, the mother moved to another town with her boyfriend and left my daughter in the care of HER mother and a sister. The mother now only shows up for an hour or two once a week.
From my perspective, it appears that the mother has abandoned our daughter.
In addition, the money I give each month does not appear to 'trickle down' to my daughter, who now lives in less than desirable conditions without either parent.
I have told the mother, if she doesn't want to care for our daughter, I want to be the father and that, under the circumstances, I want our daughter to live with me where she will be loved and cared for by at least one of her parents.
She refuses. She doesn?t want to care for our child, but she doesn?t want me to either. I have offered to continue the monthly ?payments? to her if she lets my daughter live with me in order to hopefully take the financial equation out of her decision. Again she refuses.
I am lost. I don?t know what to do.
I want what?s best for my daughter and her future.
But what is best? to try to fight for custody with all the mess and problems involved? Accept the situation as-is?
It all seems such a hopeless mess. I don?t want my daughter growing up in a poor barrio without parents, while the mother enjoys my daughter?s ?pension alimenticia?.
I would greatly welcome any feedback on this.
Many thanks for your time.
I am the legal British father of a two year old British/Dominican daughter. For the last two years my daughter has been living with her mother and I have been putting money into a bank account in the mother's name for my daughter's support for the last two years.
approximately three months ago, the mother moved to another town with her boyfriend and left my daughter in the care of HER mother and a sister. The mother now only shows up for an hour or two once a week.
From my perspective, it appears that the mother has abandoned our daughter.
In addition, the money I give each month does not appear to 'trickle down' to my daughter, who now lives in less than desirable conditions without either parent.
I have told the mother, if she doesn't want to care for our daughter, I want to be the father and that, under the circumstances, I want our daughter to live with me where she will be loved and cared for by at least one of her parents.
She refuses. She doesn?t want to care for our child, but she doesn?t want me to either. I have offered to continue the monthly ?payments? to her if she lets my daughter live with me in order to hopefully take the financial equation out of her decision. Again she refuses.
I am lost. I don?t know what to do.
I want what?s best for my daughter and her future.
But what is best? to try to fight for custody with all the mess and problems involved? Accept the situation as-is?
It all seems such a hopeless mess. I don?t want my daughter growing up in a poor barrio without parents, while the mother enjoys my daughter?s ?pension alimenticia?.
I would greatly welcome any feedback on this.
Many thanks for your time.