expat raising a daughter in this "machista" country? I think better not ...

[Givadogahome]

I think I mentioned above that the after hours socialising was important in social development, things like you mention we have in the UK that simply don't in DR. Finding things to do in the capital to entertain children is difficult. And I don't mean visit the zoo, making effort and costing alot for every single time you are looking to stimulate the child's mind. In UK everyone is on a much more level playing field, and quite simply it is more child friendly. My wife was brought up in campo, eventually the family moved closer to the city, but in the early years I found it really weird how the toys we would buy for our daughter would be put out of reach, locked away. It took her (my wife) a while to get to grips with the concept of toys, I don't mean she's dumb and doesn't understand play. I mean she would constantly tidy up, even while the toys were being played with. It's difficult to explain, but I put it simply down to not having many toys, she was more accustomed to playing out on the street, making the most of what was around her rather than using actual toys as stimulants. A few years on and it is a different story but that was a big shock culture wise for me, interesting, but strange seeing someone you know so well acting only as life has shown her. Infact the biggest culture clash we experienced in our life together so far, a small thing but a big lesson on just how different our lives have been, no matter where we are now.

Solutions? Well, you know what we decided. I expect if you aren't working and don't have a busy life and manage to get among the right people it can be done, but it isn't as good, for sure, that's just a fact.

 

[Aguaita29]

Well, you should just raise your daughter wherever you guys feel the safest and where you feel you can provide her with the best enviroment and she can have access to the best opportunities.

I agree with those who say it's all about the upbringing and the kind of people they hang out with but, for me, the main issue here is that you feel so unsafe in the DR that, even if you decided to stay, these feelings could have a negative effect on the family environment while growing up. You could end up overprotecting her.

For example, I had an aunt who moved to New York with her 3 children. She hated it there and lived in constant fear for her kids; She was outraged by bullying at schools and news about murders, child abductions and rapes would make her panic. She wouldn't even let her kids play outside by themselves while everyone else's kids would just go out and enjoy simple things. The kids couldn't understand this and were very unhappy.

So my point is, wherever you live, if your parents live in a constant state of fear or uncertainty, you won't be a happy kid.

I really hope you find a great place to raise your daughter and wherever you raise her, make sure to keep her in contact with the DR and have her learn some Anti sanky skills, which I think are unvaluable.

Good Luck!

I was really curious about posting this to know what people thinks about ...

Im an expat here, in the close future Im gonna be daddy of a little daughter. Just knew some days before it will be a girl.

Before knowing this, I was thinking a lot, a lot, about what I would do if being a girl, what I would do in the future, talking about this country and my own family.

My big concern was always thinking that if baby would be a girl, that would be future headaches in this country.

I have been living here enough time to know how many (not all, but many!) dominican men behave with women

I have had many examples given by my wife, unfortunately examples she has not only have heard but lived by her own too or seen in front of her. Some examples have made me so indignant, angry, outraged that I could not believe how men could do and behave that way ...

So I got the conclusion that I dont wanna raise a girl in a country where men respect women that way. It would be a nightmare when my daughter becoming a teenager and a woman ... I think I would finally be involved in many arguments, fights, etc many times, or having to visit some men with a baseball stick in my hands ...

As I said before, not all dominican men are that way, of course, but it is a fact, this country is plenty of that kind of men who dont respect women at all, and I have noticed that being a pretty (and decent) woman in this country, can be quite tough ...

Ok, lets go for your thoughts ....