I have lived with a Dominican girl for five years now married for four, no complaints except she continuously tries to confuse me with alternative words for the same thing. Just how many words are there for frog or dirt? I find her a lot more attentive than any European girl I've known. I just have to be careful about talking to any other girl otherwise I get accused of looking for a novia! I found her in a restaurant not a bar nor night club nor a girl on the beach. If you find the right one go for it mate.
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I married / am dating a dominican and it's great!
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Bronxboy, I pointed him to the thread about positive relationships.
Just look around DR1 a bit. Lots of long time and good relationships. Not enough fingers to count them.
With all the negativity here lately, anyone who dares to say they're happily married to a Dominican opens themselves up to a nasty attack from someone. At the very least, they'll be called a liar. The funny thing is that some of the people who always dump on Dominicans the most .... are in relationships with Dominicans themselves. But, of course, THEIRS are different.
Gimme a break.
AE
The fact is that you could get on a forum about expats in Thailand, Cuba, Brazil, Morocco, the same exact things will be said.
If you're traveling to a developing country, the fastest one will be a hustlers. Just common sense.
If you refuse to see it, you need to travel more
PS: I am originally from a third world country who recently opened to tourism. Us local shake our heads when we see some of the women that tourists marry and bring back to Europe (women a local could never be seen in public with). Does this mean that all women are putas in my country, no, but 75 % of the one hanging around tourists are.
It is the same game pretty much everywhere. No stereotype, just reality !!
If you're traveling to a developing country, the fastest one will be a hustlers. Just common sense.
If you refuse to see it, you need to travel more
PS: I am originally from a third world country who recently opened to tourism. Us local shake our heads when we see some of the women that tourists marry and bring back to Europe (women a local could never be seen in public with). Does this mean that all women are putas in my country, no, but 75 % of the one hanging around tourists are.
It is the same game pretty much everywhere. No stereotype, just reality !!
A little late to the topic but, I am happily looking forward to marriage next year to a Dominican woman. Many challenges, a little fear, blinded at times by love and the allure of Dominican warmth, beaches, ocean and Presidentes...for sure. But I am a Gringo that has been through my own ups and downs in life and a previous 20 year marriage with a woman who was devoid of much emotional openness...(maybe I caused this....dunno).
With my fiancee the spread in age is 19 years....this will be a challenge, but she (at age 30) is finishing her degree from UASD, she knows I have at times barely 50 pesos to scrape together...but she will and does do anything for me before I ask. This is heady stuff for sure. And we talk often that life for us will not be easy at times. She rarely asks me for anything as her brother and dad provide for her mostly, even with me in the picture now. We talk often about this very topic...gringos(as), sankies, money, visas, stereotypes, truth, reality, fiction, and the cultural differences that shape and will shape our love and life together.
Her family is humble, but some siblings work. Her dad works and is putting her through school, and yes I am sure everybody is excited about the American coming to marry their girl. But motivation wise, in my experience every body marries for the same reasons everywhere; love, sex, opportunity, money, security and companionship....the question is in which order and to what degree.
I want to marry again (now 4 years out), and I am aware of many complications with marriage....period...American to American or American to Dominican, marriage is hard. But my experience over the past year and 10 trips to the RD (and some western European countries), is that if I pick the right woman, (I have dated two and made numerous other female friendships in the RD), there are with Dominican women, Latin/Dominican cultural behaviors towards men that I will never find here in the US. For example I seem to have found a career minded woman who desires to make her man feel like he is the number one priority! This attitude, for example, will take me the rest of my time on earth to just locate in the US. I do not have patience to wait for this any more than the desire to date and marry woman my age that look like my grandmother. Superficial?....today, kind-of, so I best choose wisely because even I may grow-up one day and succumb to the FACT that indeed looks do fade and are not everything.
And finally mi Novia y Yo are indeed guilty of our own exterior motives...some of which we have spoke of together at length, some will reveal themselves perhaps years later, but that happens in all marriages. For me I am guilty of (as hinted at) placing a bit too much emphasis on younger women, and not fully appreciating what it means to start a second family at age 50. But I was pretty naive the first time around at age 28...maybe I have more to add this time?....no se...espero.
For my bride-to-be, she may be too dependent on needing a man for fulfillment, (I know I am in wanting a woman around), but she is also practical and modestly career driven so that offsets this. And finally she is guilty of wanting to please me at every turn, because as she puts,"... this is the best way a woman can keep her man from cheating". For a man, this trait on the part of his woman, is of course a gift from God. And alas many men don't get it and cheat anyway. So that's the potential good news, bad news is she has told me, she will not tolerate cheating (a result of significant infidelity she has witnessed in her own past, and in relationships affecting her family and friends). But more good news is, fidelity was one thing along with some others (I have plenty of faults) I did right the first time around in marriage.
So yes i imagine there are plenty of success stories. The proper question I believe is whether cross cultural marriages increase or decrease the divorce rate which hovers in the US around 50%. And my answer would be as with any other marriage; does the couple possess the skills and desire to leverage the commonalities and successes while being able to navigate and work through the differences and challenges? As with my first marriage, I know which side of the statistic I want to be on....I was on the right side for 20 years....I will let you know.
With my fiancee the spread in age is 19 years....this will be a challenge, but she (at age 30) is finishing her degree from UASD, she knows I have at times barely 50 pesos to scrape together...but she will and does do anything for me before I ask. This is heady stuff for sure. And we talk often that life for us will not be easy at times. She rarely asks me for anything as her brother and dad provide for her mostly, even with me in the picture now. We talk often about this very topic...gringos(as), sankies, money, visas, stereotypes, truth, reality, fiction, and the cultural differences that shape and will shape our love and life together.
Her family is humble, but some siblings work. Her dad works and is putting her through school, and yes I am sure everybody is excited about the American coming to marry their girl. But motivation wise, in my experience every body marries for the same reasons everywhere; love, sex, opportunity, money, security and companionship....the question is in which order and to what degree.
I want to marry again (now 4 years out), and I am aware of many complications with marriage....period...American to American or American to Dominican, marriage is hard. But my experience over the past year and 10 trips to the RD (and some western European countries), is that if I pick the right woman, (I have dated two and made numerous other female friendships in the RD), there are with Dominican women, Latin/Dominican cultural behaviors towards men that I will never find here in the US. For example I seem to have found a career minded woman who desires to make her man feel like he is the number one priority! This attitude, for example, will take me the rest of my time on earth to just locate in the US. I do not have patience to wait for this any more than the desire to date and marry woman my age that look like my grandmother. Superficial?....today, kind-of, so I best choose wisely because even I may grow-up one day and succumb to the FACT that indeed looks do fade and are not everything.
And finally mi Novia y Yo are indeed guilty of our own exterior motives...some of which we have spoke of together at length, some will reveal themselves perhaps years later, but that happens in all marriages. For me I am guilty of (as hinted at) placing a bit too much emphasis on younger women, and not fully appreciating what it means to start a second family at age 50. But I was pretty naive the first time around at age 28...maybe I have more to add this time?....no se...espero.
For my bride-to-be, she may be too dependent on needing a man for fulfillment, (I know I am in wanting a woman around), but she is also practical and modestly career driven so that offsets this. And finally she is guilty of wanting to please me at every turn, because as she puts,"... this is the best way a woman can keep her man from cheating". For a man, this trait on the part of his woman, is of course a gift from God. And alas many men don't get it and cheat anyway. So that's the potential good news, bad news is she has told me, she will not tolerate cheating (a result of significant infidelity she has witnessed in her own past, and in relationships affecting her family and friends). But more good news is, fidelity was one thing along with some others (I have plenty of faults) I did right the first time around in marriage.
So yes i imagine there are plenty of success stories. The proper question I believe is whether cross cultural marriages increase or decrease the divorce rate which hovers in the US around 50%. And my answer would be as with any other marriage; does the couple possess the skills and desire to leverage the commonalities and successes while being able to navigate and work through the differences and challenges? As with my first marriage, I know which side of the statistic I want to be on....I was on the right side for 20 years....I will let you know.
1. A marriage between a woman and a man from two different cultures is always difficult due to the differences in culture who bound to pop up.
2. I would hardly say that DR1 is THE reference point for people to make up their mind that such marriages or relationships are successful or not because :
a) DR1 population does not represent the DR population, only a tiny fraction.
b) And true, on this board you hear almost more the horror stories then the happy stories.
Acira
2. I would hardly say that DR1 is THE reference point for people to make up their mind that such marriages or relationships are successful or not because :
a) DR1 population does not represent the DR population, only a tiny fraction.
b) And true, on this board you hear almost more the horror stories then the happy stories.
Acira
Maybe you aren't looking hard enough? Sorry. Read the whole post but this bugged me. Good luck with your endeavors. There's a variety of women in the US and I am sad you think you can't find a good American woman. We do exist.
Hahaha, it is quite easy to see who on this particular thread is carrying a huge chip after being sanked and therefore everyone else is doomed, lol, so funny after the way they are always first to preach and mock others for mistakes made, jealousy I wonder? Bitter for sure.
One thing for sure is that successful relationships are as successful here as anywhere else, move from the tourist areas into real living and you will find yourself surrounded by happy long term real relationships. Yes there is a failure rate, but anywhere else in the world also has a failure rate, high at that, put it into context and realize there is more to living here than DR1, this is not the expat community here, it is a website with people who sometimes have little else to do but chat sh1t, it is a great site, but not the be all and end all neither do the forum users know it all. I am surrounded by expats in long term normal relationships, none of them bother to feel the need to announce each successful days goings on, especially on a public forum.
One thing for sure is that successful relationships are as successful here as anywhere else, move from the tourist areas into real living and you will find yourself surrounded by happy long term real relationships. Yes there is a failure rate, but anywhere else in the world also has a failure rate, high at that, put it into context and realize there is more to living here than DR1, this is not the expat community here, it is a website with people who sometimes have little else to do but chat sh1t, it is a great site, but not the be all and end all neither do the forum users know it all. I am surrounded by expats in long term normal relationships, none of them bother to feel the need to announce each successful days goings on, especially on a public forum.
I think what you have read in these threads on this forum are warnings about sankies/sankiettes which does NOT APPLY TO ALL Dominicans.
Plenty of good Dominicans around and after reading these forums we hope people are well armed to know the difference.
Sorry didn't look first, thought this was Mars/Venus
Those relationships where always doomed because they werent built on anything except the desire of the 2 parties to fulfill a need. And that need was convulted by emotion on one part and desperation on the other. I cant speak for women so I can just say that a. the dude wanted to meet someone beautiful who would take his loneliness away and the woman he chose wanted someone with means to make her life easier. From that right point there you can draw all types of illusions, delusions and conclusions.
I dont think you have the right to be annoyed. You can listen to Heidi and she will tell you simple and plain that she wasnt feeling any of the dudes in the area of Massachusetts where she lives. I think it is the equivalent of telling someone they dont need to explore new cuisines because whatever they have been eating for years should be good enough. Because what you are doing is telling people they should compromise in what they think would make them happy because it irritates you. But you can only live your life and she will live hers and in the end thats that.
Me? I am in agreement with Shalena. When I was in high school all the women wanted to be friends. Now 20 years later they all want a relationship. And they talk to me like it is them who is going to give me a shot. Nope! When we were in high school I recall you being built like an african wine kettle
now you look like a peeled batata
I think I will stick with the curvy light skin women.
With all due respect RacerX you seem to be making my point for me. There are a variety of American women and painting us all with the same brush is the same as saying we all are like your potato above, which is simply not the case.
It just felt like a stereotype to me, is all.
It just felt like a stereotype to me, is all.
I dont think I am making your point. My point is people should do and go where they want to. If a dude finds Asian women attractive he aint gonna find them in Maine. If your average nondescript guy likes Native American women he may not be able to find them in Portland, so he goes and looks in the Dakota States, in Chile or in the Honduras. And it serves him no purpose to either look where he is at this moment in time precisely in spite of what his preferences are or to pick someone he really doesnt have cosmic feelings for just because she is there in the same pueblo.
The Dominican men do the same thing. They play the hand they are dealt when they are here locally with these women but when many of them get to Europe its a new world and they find themselves starstruck with European women and forget ALL about the women back home. Some of them may forget their kids, but ALL of them forget their women. I met a woman who thought she was going with him to Austria when he got his papers. She went and got a passport and there she is in Santiago spinning her wheels. She will tell you her sister is going to send for her to go to Spain but I think the Spanish economy will collapse before any of that will happen.
Your point is that a dude should get to know you and prefer to know you just because you are in the same country. Regardless of whether you get his goat or catch his eye or anything else. No way.
I think that cross cultural stuff can work if you can exercise patience and really really get to know your partner. In my experience the greedy ones cant hold out long enough to purposely develop a relationship because they are always awaiting the big score. The reserved and self-sufficient ones can actually express interest in you and your well being.
Maybe people in the US and Europe are more reserved and self-sufficient in general. I get hesitant to show too much interest in the other person's life and get too much into it just not to be invasive. Most men don't seem to want a woman to change her life for them. And, to be honest - "please your man" idea is kind of silly, because people who cheat will cheat anyway, and those who don't - just would not do it. So, it is really not about "pleasure" - but a connection between two people.
Racerx I do agree with you there. People should go and do what they want with their lives. Maybe I read too much into his post. By the way there are both Asians and Natives in Maine.
It can just be a case of being somewhere 'exotic' when you decide the time is right - and just going with what is available as you would anywhere.
There are plenty of English women I would have married - and even a few who would have married me, but by the time I gotsta thinkin about breedin'n'all - the most likely prospects I saw before me were, well, 'exotic'.
Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Soooooooo....explain to me how this is a success story and you aren't even married yet? And you've been traveling to th DR all of one whole year for this woman?
SHALENA
Wow, advice from the man who admittedly married his campesina only because he knocked her up. I dare say, shall we expect a book coming out next year?
SHALENA
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