- Thread starter fabekid
- Start date
I want to keep my child here in the United States.
As the above poster indicated, immunization shots are free in public institutions; private clinics do charge about and more than the indicated by you above.
Believe you me; the last place I want my kids to even visit is the public hospital/clinics in the DR...
Have you ever wondered why private clinics and health providers are so numerous in the DR?
Apart from shots the clinics do perform other test and checks on the kids that are not the usual MO in the public health facilities.
My kids have no price limits when it comes to their health and well being... When you consider that untold number of kids are able to have their immunization provided in private clinics without having a foreign parent, what that means for you questioning why some shots come up to 34,000 pesos in the DR while back at home they are 15 US:
How much a car costs in the US and the same in the DR?
A TV? A car radio? Etc...
Thanks for the update. It looks like you need to take control of your son's life. Mom does not seem to care that much. It might be easier for you to just agree with her that you will be paying for everything and your son will have to spend more time with you. But I would not deprive him of seeing his mother at all. Even if she is a bad mother - it is simply inhumane. Good luck!
Maybe you should talk to a good lawyer in the DR and get some solid advice about custody etc. I hope your little boy gets some good treatment and has a happy healthy childhood.
Best advise in my opinion!
I do not agree with Pichardo. This woman betrayed her own child and his father. She used them for financial gain - while the child suffered. She isn't a mother, she's a b**ch, who's hopefully will rot in hell. I'd do everything in my power that she won't see her own child - ever!
I do believe - according to US laws- that he can get full custody of the child since they are both US citizens and the mother's custody would not be on the child's benefit - as it is well documented.
If she doesn't like it? Sue me from the DR, b**ch!
I wish you good luck, also good health and a nice future to your son.
Keep fighting for him!
The Hun
Thanks Hun. I though it was good advice when I was writing it.
Most other posters are all wrapped up in emotions.... "The kid will miss his mother"......"What about the mother's feelings?"....... "The mother has rights to know who is watching her child" ...... and my favorite "Keeping the kid from his mother is inhumane". Oh Lord, talk about far reaching.
Inhumane is being locked in a closet for 23 hours a day. This man is trying to rescue his son from a "chances are" crappy childhood.
OP. Keep that boy in the States. The boy's mother screwed up. He is better off without her entirely.
Believe me, in the States he has a better chance at gathering the tools he needs to be a success in life ie. education, healthcare, security etc.
Yeah sure, DR is a great place to live, but it is even better when you establish yourself with US/Canadian/ European etc. credentials and $$$ before you live there.
What I am suggesting is not cruel; it's logical. Your boy will adapt fine. That's what kids do.
Most other posters are all wrapped up in emotions.... "The kid will miss his mother"......"What about the mother's feelings?"....... "The mother has rights to know who is watching her child" ...... and my favorite "Keeping the kid from his mother is inhumane". Oh Lord, talk about far reaching.
Inhumane is being locked in a closet for 23 hours a day. This man is trying to rescue his son from a "chances are" crappy childhood.
OP. Keep that boy in the States. The boy's mother screwed up. He is better off without her entirely.
Believe me, in the States he has a better chance at gathering the tools he needs to be a success in life ie. education, healthcare, security etc.
Yeah sure, DR is a great place to live, but it is even better when you establish yourself with US/Canadian/ European etc. credentials and $$$ before you live there.
What I am suggesting is not cruel; it's logical. Your boy will adapt fine. That's what kids do.
Hague Convention
Regardless of the child's dual citizenship, the child is a resident of the Dominican Republic and his mother has custody. She gave him permission. Perhaps fabekid even signed a paper saying he would return the child. He didn't pay for the catscan that was recommended in infancy. I believe he would be charged with kidnapping and I doubt he had enough strong evidence to win his case. Missing the booster shots and not having the money for a catscan is not exactly strong evidence. Having high speed internet isn't exactly an extravagance when the father lives in the US. I don't think he would win and then for sure he would lose all contact.
There are other solutions I'm sure, trust funds, some legal agreement on custody and support. It sounds like he never tried that route first.
How to Win Hague Convention Case, international child abduction
Unless there's clear medical evidence of shaken baby syndrome or fractures, malnutrition, child never learnt how to chew because he had a bottle only, etc., it just looks like a typical marriage breakdown without a legal separation and child custody agreement. If this mother was so devious, why did she agree to let her son come to the USA with the father?
Regardless of the child's dual citizenship, the child is a resident of the Dominican Republic and his mother has custody. She gave him permission. Perhaps fabekid even signed a paper saying he would return the child. He didn't pay for the catscan that was recommended in infancy. I believe he would be charged with kidnapping and I doubt he had enough strong evidence to win his case. Missing the booster shots and not having the money for a catscan is not exactly strong evidence. Having high speed internet isn't exactly an extravagance when the father lives in the US. I don't think he would win and then for sure he would lose all contact.
There are other solutions I'm sure, trust funds, some legal agreement on custody and support. It sounds like he never tried that route first.
How to Win Hague Convention Case, international child abduction
Unless there's clear medical evidence of shaken baby syndrome or fractures, malnutrition, child never learnt how to chew because he had a bottle only, etc., it just looks like a typical marriage breakdown without a legal separation and child custody agreement. If this mother was so devious, why did she agree to let her son come to the USA with the father?
Remember the little Cuban boy who came over on a yola with his mother who drown? His uncle in Miami took custody. Where is he now? back in Cuba with his father. The SWAT team went in and got him and returned him to his parent in Cuba. Rule of law. Hague Convention.
Think about twenty years from now when he returns to meet his mother and family in the DR. High speed internet, 3400 pesos for booster shots will look like a pretty lame excuse for taking custody.
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Fabekid,
Thanks for the background info and the update...does not sound good for your son. Whatever you do will not be enough for this woman, based on her past behaviour. And it sounds like her family is encouraging her to drain you, not for the childs benefit but for themselves (i.e. taking your childs food for other family members? thats not love but selfishness)...ignoring the childs basic needs.
You cannot rationalize with some people. I dont agree with others who say try to smooth things out with her. Sounds like you tried and she will do what she wants to do. Just like when she knew the father of her other child would NEVER sign papers for his child to leave the country, but her and her mother broke the law and committed a crime and obtained forged letters to take the child out of the country. That is a SERIOUS RED FLAG!She is NOT someone you can trust obviously!
I bet you will regret it if you send the child home.
Tell her the doctors are concerned, what they have told you about his health issues and he has to have many more tests so you are not sure 'when' he will return to the D.R.. And go see a lawyer ASAP!!!!
I pray his additional medical tests results are not serious. But it sounds like he will need treatment/therapy to help reverse his developmental delays. And the USA will be the best place for that! I know you must be worried.
If the doctor said your son is delayed because the mother did not provide him with enough stimulation (something so basic and easy to do especially when there are other people in the house)...how could you send him back in good conscious, to the same environment with this woman and her family, and risk more delayed development or possibly neglect for you son? I wouldnt and neither would any other loving parent. She and her family obviously cant be trusted to adequately care for his needs.
She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.
I am with you and Toober on this. Who cares about the mothers 'feelings'. This is about your sons health and development...period! That is the #1 issue not the moms feelings. How are you going to explain to your son 20 years from know why you sent him back to such an environment. What about his feelings and rights?
Let her talk to who ever will be taking care of the child, including your girlfriend. Tape record the phone calls because it sounds like you are nervous she will be verbally abusive to her or try cause trouble based on jealousy.
Some people are biased because they feel mothers are best to take care of the child. That is not always the case. So dont feel guilty about protecting your child. You are not being inhumane.
She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.
Keep a DETAILED DAILY written DIARY of all your sons activities, date a time...how many times he throws ups, is sick, obvious delays in development you notice, detailed notes from doctors visits, your friends and families interactions and observations with him, when you and your son talk to her/email, reciepts from stuff and money you sent him while he was in the DR....EVERYTHING! This info related to his health issues will be helpful for his doctors/specialists and if you have to go to court. You cannot have too much evidence and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
The mother does not have legal custody does she?
If there is no legal custody order in place...how could you be kidnapping your own child. At this point you have as much right to be with him....until the court 'in the USA' decides otherwise.
(As has been dicsussed many times on this board the court system in the DR CANNOT be trusted....convicted murders pay to get out of jail.... so you would be a fool, especially as a gringo to play this out in the D.R. as oppossed to the USA)
He is in the USA for medical care, which the mother agreed to.
It appears that his medical treatment will take a long time to deal with, with tests and therapy/treatment.
Possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Wishing the best for your son.
Thanks for the background info and the update...does not sound good for your son. Whatever you do will not be enough for this woman, based on her past behaviour. And it sounds like her family is encouraging her to drain you, not for the childs benefit but for themselves (i.e. taking your childs food for other family members? thats not love but selfishness)...ignoring the childs basic needs.
You cannot rationalize with some people. I dont agree with others who say try to smooth things out with her. Sounds like you tried and she will do what she wants to do. Just like when she knew the father of her other child would NEVER sign papers for his child to leave the country, but her and her mother broke the law and committed a crime and obtained forged letters to take the child out of the country. That is a SERIOUS RED FLAG!She is NOT someone you can trust obviously!
I bet you will regret it if you send the child home.
Tell her the doctors are concerned, what they have told you about his health issues and he has to have many more tests so you are not sure 'when' he will return to the D.R.. And go see a lawyer ASAP!!!!
I pray his additional medical tests results are not serious. But it sounds like he will need treatment/therapy to help reverse his developmental delays. And the USA will be the best place for that! I know you must be worried.
If the doctor said your son is delayed because the mother did not provide him with enough stimulation (something so basic and easy to do especially when there are other people in the house)...how could you send him back in good conscious, to the same environment with this woman and her family, and risk more delayed development or possibly neglect for you son? I wouldnt and neither would any other loving parent. She and her family obviously cant be trusted to adequately care for his needs.
She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.
I am with you and Toober on this. Who cares about the mothers 'feelings'. This is about your sons health and development...period! That is the #1 issue not the moms feelings. How are you going to explain to your son 20 years from know why you sent him back to such an environment. What about his feelings and rights?
Let her talk to who ever will be taking care of the child, including your girlfriend. Tape record the phone calls because it sounds like you are nervous she will be verbally abusive to her or try cause trouble based on jealousy.
Some people are biased because they feel mothers are best to take care of the child. That is not always the case. So dont feel guilty about protecting your child. You are not being inhumane.
She can talk to him by phone and see him via video phone since she has high speed internet. And in the future make plans to visit the USA. You said her mom and her son have been to Boston so they dont sound like a very poor family.
Keep a DETAILED DAILY written DIARY of all your sons activities, date a time...how many times he throws ups, is sick, obvious delays in development you notice, detailed notes from doctors visits, your friends and families interactions and observations with him, when you and your son talk to her/email, reciepts from stuff and money you sent him while he was in the DR....EVERYTHING! This info related to his health issues will be helpful for his doctors/specialists and if you have to go to court. You cannot have too much evidence and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!
The mother does not have legal custody does she?
If there is no legal custody order in place...how could you be kidnapping your own child. At this point you have as much right to be with him....until the court 'in the USA' decides otherwise.
(As has been dicsussed many times on this board the court system in the DR CANNOT be trusted....convicted murders pay to get out of jail.... so you would be a fool, especially as a gringo to play this out in the D.R. as oppossed to the USA)
He is in the USA for medical care, which the mother agreed to.
It appears that his medical treatment will take a long time to deal with, with tests and therapy/treatment.
Possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Wishing the best for your son.
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Maybe someone on this site knows of a good lawyer that OP can actually trust? I would not know anyone, because I never got to this point with my son's father. We just signed a paper that we both will share custody and take care of our son, and presented it to the court when we got divorced. Can OP get his ex to sign this kind of paper - that she agrees to everything and will not object?
Here is some background information on what's involved in both protecting yourself from abduction of your child to another country and obtaining custody of your child. And by the way, lawyers are available in the US who would assist a Dominican parent whose child has been abducted: Finding an Attorney
This has nothing to do with feelings of the mother or the father, that is correct. This could very quickly turn into a criminal matter, if this poster doesn't get legal advice before he acts. And if he wants a relationship with his son, he'd better be dead certain that he will win this battle BEFORE he alerts the mother to anything.
This has nothing to do with feelings of the mother or the father, that is correct. This could very quickly turn into a criminal matter, if this poster doesn't get legal advice before he acts. And if he wants a relationship with his son, he'd better be dead certain that he will win this battle BEFORE he alerts the mother to anything.
the shots given in the states are often different than the ones in the states. and not all shots here are free. we had to pay for the hepatitis shots becuase there is a shortage. it cost about 3,000 pesos.
The Cuban boy is a case of father -vs- uncle and the American - Dominican child is a case of mother -vs- father.
A friend of mine was in the exact situation. He took his kid back to Canada without the mother’s consent. The mom was from a barrio but she pulled enough strings to go on the news and scream kidnapping with his photo being showed and loads of drama. They are still in Canada and the case didn’t go any further.
That 9/10ths is about to show the OP what Interpol stands for...
If you didn't know it, all it takes is for the DR mommy to make a report with the local authorities and the rest will be between a rock and a hard place for the "concerned" daddy...
To the OP: You really don't want to open a Pandora?s box that will never seem to get shut. Like I told you, patch up your "thing" with the kid's mommy sooner, rather than later...
You're not the first parent hold their kid(s) in the USA for keeps, each single time w/o a fail, all the kids have been returned to their DR's parent and their cases ventilated in the courts here...
That's 100% of all cases! That's a fact!
All the cases checked into with Interpol and found within the legal parameters of the Law, were prosecuted and the kids found/flown back to the DR.
It's a big difference between a claim w/o the legal weight to follow up and a case with legal merit to it.
By all means the OP is better to consult with a reputable Law firm in the US, before he takes that step now...
Like I said, of all the cases found with legal merits of child "keeping" of their parents abroad, 100% were returned to the DR and the cases ventilated in a DR court...
Interpol is not going to return a 'sick' child (dont know why you continue to ignore this important fact...I know you are always pro DR but this is not an issue of Dominican VS non-Dominican but about a childs health ) who is an American citizen, who is in the midst of getting intensive medical tests and care.
The health and wellbeing of the child comes first.
The fact is an 'unbiased' doctor gave his medical opinion that the child is delayed due to 'lack of stimulation'. Which will weigh heavily in a court of law, more heavily than any parents 'opinion', if it even comes to that...as Juanitas posts describes. The child has other health issues. The OP has valid concerns for the health and safety of his child.
That is the issue not the parents feelings or their 'private legal' sex life that they keep from their child...give me a break (her trying to meet foreign men online or him being apart of a world sex site, if that is even true, is irrelavant...and a judge will quickly tell you so...they have heard every childish ridiculous game in these cases).
The DR mom gave written permission and agreed for her son to go to the USA to seek medical treatment and meet the other side of his family. There is no legal custody agreement between the two. This is not a kidnapping case.
The mother broke Dominican law and international law when she forged documents for her other child to leave the DR and enter the US, when the father refused to give permission for that. What about the law and that fathers rights and feelings?
And if you didnt know all it would take for the US daddy is to call DR and local authorities/immigration and make a report. This can be easily tracked (flight information with the airlines, US and DR immigration records, copies of forged documents, the fathers testimony that he never wrote the letter) and it will be the mother who will be in between a rock and a hard place with the law, immigration and with the father of her other child. Messing with immigration is not a Pandoras box that she will want to open.
She will never win that fight!
You cannot compare this particular case with the other 100% cases you are referring to.
To the OP.....
Understand there are posters on this board who have an agenda (national pride, real estate, business, ego, etc.). So take their 'advice' with caution.
& maybe a teenzy-weenzy bit of obstinacy too Thandie where they have to PROVE with multitudes of words & 'dug-up' irrelevant facts that "THEY are RIGHT & everyone else is wrong"?????
I agree that it would be best to try & resolve this with the Mother direct & without recourse to the courts. Maybe in getting written comments from the Mother the OP will get some 'proof' of her real intentions if she has any other than the medical treatment of her son.
Hopefully our 'Legal Expert' will be along shortly to give his assessment of the OP's situation. ~ Grahame.