you can find love, lust, lies allover the world. living with a dominican makes me realize that when you are in the DR, have fun and dont worry about what will happen when you get on the plane to go home. to most resort workers your just another tourist they have slept with. yes some continue to come back to be with them but a resort worker only cares about the dinero coming in.
- Thread starter Kyle
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Love, Lust or Lie
I think it is very difficult to find "true love" while on a 2 week vacation. But if you live here take it slow and anything can happen. You need to understand the big picture though. The culture, people, history and day to day lifes challenges here. I mean, "your not in Kansas anymore Dorothy." Food, water and shelter here are the day to day challenges for the Dominican people. Life is difficult sure but nowhere will you find a happier more fun loving God fearing group of people. And when you do find that "true love" here, value it, appreciate it and nurture it because it is real and strong and long lasting.
A love of our friendship.....
I really like the way you have put that, it sort of sums up what I have found as well.
I also like the "friends with benefits" which has also been mentioned.
Rio
I really like the way you have put that, it sort of sums up what I have found as well.
I also like the "friends with benefits" which has also been mentioned.
Rio
Interesting post. Allow me to propose an experiment. Next time your "friend" asks for money, hand them a translation of St. Thomas Aquinas. You know, where he distinguishes between the State of Man and the State of Nature, and please report back on their response.
Most tourists are older, aren't in the same shape they were in at 20, don't speak spanish, and won't stay longer than two weeks at a time. It's not about grappling with the duality of man and understanding cross-lingual definitions of what "is" is.
It's about understanding the general presumption that, until you are told otherwise, you are a walking wallet to most of the tourist-sector Dominicans you will ever come into contact with. And when you're done having fun, they do expect to be compensated, one way or the other. After all, you don't get into Disneyland for free, either.
I mean, consider this scenario in your hometown: what if I was twice your age, stayed in a hotel in town for a few weeks, didn't speak your language or know your culture, couldn't really function outside the touristy areas, and was unable to confirm when/whether we'd see each other again? Further, there's no easy way to contact me after I leave, you can't come see me, and you don't even know if I have a significant other.
Question: How long would it take you to completely fall for me?
Thought so.
aranoid:aranoid:aranoid:I think some dominicans catch on to the fact that while many tourists go to their country for fun in the sun and willingly attach themselves to whomever makes it easy for them, there is still something missing from their lives.
So they try to fill that void with temporary gestures of caring, usually verbal and sexual in nature.
Hearing those words "te quiero" can be quite powerful, even if almost 10 times out of 10 they either don't mean it or don't mean it the way WE would like them to mean it.
Not living there, and chasing after something that is not real from so very far away takes a commitment that borders on crazy.
Love does NOT conquer all, especially if it is not reciprocated equally.
By the way Kyle, excellent thread. This should be a good one.
So they try to fill that void with temporary gestures of caring, usually verbal and sexual in nature.
Hearing those words "te quiero" can be quite powerful, even if almost 10 times out of 10 they either don't mean it or don't mean it the way WE would like them to mean it.
Not living there, and chasing after something that is not real from so very far away takes a commitment that borders on crazy.
Love does NOT conquer all, especially if it is not reciprocated equally.
By the way Kyle, excellent thread. This should be a good one.
Interesting post.
Most tourists are older, aren't in the same shape they were in at 20, don't speak spanish, and won't stay longer than two weeks at a time. It's not about grappling with the duality of man and understanding cross-lingual definitions of what "is" is.
It's about understanding the general presumption that, until you are told otherwise, you are a walking wallet to most of the tourist-sector Dominicans you will ever come into contact with. And when you're done having fun, they do expect to be compensated, one way or the other. After all, you don't get into Disneyland for free, either.
I mean, consider this scenario in your hometown: what if I was twice your age, stayed in a hotel in town for a few weeks, didn't speak your language or know your culture, couldn't really function outside the touristy areas, and was unable to confirm when/whether we'd see each other again? Further, there's no easy way to contact me after I leave, you can't come see me, and you don't even know if I have a significant other.
Question: How long would it take you to completely fall for me?
Thought so.
It can be viewed from another perspective as well.
All what you say is true and just as valid when a tourist goes to another place outside DR for example Spain.
The vast majority of tourists that go to Spain are from UK or Germany. Most do not speak any Spanish. They have a good time doing what they normally do which for the Brits its usually sunbathing getting drunk and complaining about the beer......funnily enough its the same for Germans too.
How ever when they walk down the street they are not viewed in the same way you describe them....sex objects, escape tickets or walking wallets.....maybe the last one a bit if I am honest. The types of people who go on these holidays are mostly families who spend the most money across the spectrum of the Spanish ecconomy no just in the bars.
It is a phenomenum only of the poorer nations to accept that their young girls and boys are perfectly entitled to prostitute themselves for the good of the family and its prospects.
The love angle here is always skewed with the cultural divide and financial attraction. Making it very difficult to evaluate in any normal terms the quality of the relationships. Its also a vicious circle the more toursits get scammed the less trusting they will be and vice versa. Eventually the reputation takes a dive for all parties, to the point where toursits come especially for the sex and young dominicans become career sex objects its now a trade just like buying the necklace on the beach or a beer in the bar.
No-one can be surprised when suspicon and curiosty collide there will be some broken pieces all round.
My advice is never rush anything and remember even the best relationships can fail for very silly reasons ...like leaving the top off the toothpaste or using the computer too much.
Skippy1
and a little bit further to OP
For those that have been "burnt" in the past by "lies" when they truly thought that the person"loved" them, how will this "education" serve you in the future? Now that you are enlightened will you build a barrior shield to what MIGHT be real love, unconditional love? Will you ever be able to believe your novia needs medicine, money for food, a new cell phone? I'm sure it's hard but do you just continue the chase for "lust" or can you expose yourself again to another"burning" and look at that person and say "I'm in love with her and she loves me for me?
john
For those that have been "burnt" in the past by "lies" when they truly thought that the person"loved" them, how will this "education" serve you in the future? Now that you are enlightened will you build a barrior shield to what MIGHT be real love, unconditional love? Will you ever be able to believe your novia needs medicine, money for food, a new cell phone? I'm sure it's hard but do you just continue the chase for "lust" or can you expose yourself again to another"burning" and look at that person and say "I'm in love with her and she loves me for me?
john
Skippy,
Thanks for the response, and allowing me an opportunity to clarify that the dynamic tends to exist (or at least be most prominent) where third world conditions exist.
I imagine Germans aren't being hit on like that in Madrid because Spain is a first world country.
Thanks for the response, and allowing me an opportunity to clarify that the dynamic tends to exist (or at least be most prominent) where third world conditions exist.
I imagine Germans aren't being hit on like that in Madrid because Spain is a first world country.
The same though can be said for countries like Turkey, Croatia and Cyprus all relatively poor counties.
Go to Sechelles or Maldives and see if its the same there all islands smaller than DR and with some very poor communities,
And better beaches and diving in my opinion....lol
Go to Sechelles or Maldives and see if its the same there all islands smaller than DR and with some very poor communities,
And better beaches and diving in my opinion....lol
a year last january i came to D R,to work on a hyro electric project within an hour of my arrival in Bonao i met a girl, we married and moved to Sosua, i never have to doubt her integrity, she never lies, cheats or trys to scam me, we are very happy together, i have absolute trust in her, i come from the uk, ive had my share of english bunny boilers, stalkers, liars, cheats and thieves!!!....why would i want to go back to that?!!!!
i believe its possible to find love in the D R........but guys you wont find it in a girle bar !
i believe its possible to find love in the D R........but guys you wont find it in a girle bar !
DRob, I not sure if your were directing the question you asked in your post #25 toward me or just asking it as a general rhetorical question.
If you were asking me directly, then my answer is, your question doesn't pertain to me. If any "friend" I have asks for money I know exactly why they are asking, and if a deal was struck the money is forthcoming.
In general terms, I do not understand the point of your question. If you are implying men do not understand why women go on dates with them you are a little out of touch.
All men know exactly what women respond to, and men should understand there is an implicit contract between men and women that, for the most part, results in some mutual benefit. There is nothing delusional about that situation, nor is there any misrepresentation. It is simply business.
That is not to say you can't enjoy, like, or even love the person you are doing business with. It simply means when you no longer uphold your end of the bargain, or visa versa, the deal is over, no hard feelings.
Now, the compensation might be cash, gifts, companionship, a place to live, security, care of children, or any number of other forms of renumeration. The fact remains there is a fair and honest exchange, a transaction.
So, as I am still unsure of your point, or if you were even addressing your question to me, could you please explain a little more about why anyone would ever expect to get into DisneyLand for free, or why they would want to go at all, for that matter.
If you were asking me directly, then my answer is, your question doesn't pertain to me. If any "friend" I have asks for money I know exactly why they are asking, and if a deal was struck the money is forthcoming.
In general terms, I do not understand the point of your question. If you are implying men do not understand why women go on dates with them you are a little out of touch.
All men know exactly what women respond to, and men should understand there is an implicit contract between men and women that, for the most part, results in some mutual benefit. There is nothing delusional about that situation, nor is there any misrepresentation. It is simply business.
That is not to say you can't enjoy, like, or even love the person you are doing business with. It simply means when you no longer uphold your end of the bargain, or visa versa, the deal is over, no hard feelings.
Now, the compensation might be cash, gifts, companionship, a place to live, security, care of children, or any number of other forms of renumeration. The fact remains there is a fair and honest exchange, a transaction.
So, as I am still unsure of your point, or if you were even addressing your question to me, could you please explain a little more about why anyone would ever expect to get into DisneyLand for free, or why they would want to go at all, for that matter.
I wonder when you KNOW how to define it as love ,lust or lie????? maybe not until time has gone bye,,,,
hi rio, i was staying at the aquarious hotel in Bonao, i decided to have a drink at the bar next door, on arrival a fashon show taking place, my wife had helping out back stage as a stylist and make up, think i was lucky as she spoke english too!!
this all can be said in the very wealthy city of NYC where there are tons of tourists and people who like to "have fun" with them. Sure there are many scammers and con artists here. But there are many folks who are willing to give it a go with a tourist.
I also lived in P-town (a very touristy spot). Again...there was always that "fresh meat" to go around. (i was much younger then and i had a blast...safely). I actually met some great friends who were in town just for a week and have remained friend with them to this day.
I have also met other tourists when traveling that I have remained friends with over the years.
Certainly....a tourist should be aware and wary...but one should also keep an open mind as well....one never knows when or where they will meet mr. or ms. right...or just a great friend.
eh...i guess i am not as jaded as i thought ;-)
I also lived in P-town (a very touristy spot). Again...there was always that "fresh meat" to go around. (i was much younger then and i had a blast...safely). I actually met some great friends who were in town just for a week and have remained friend with them to this day.
I have also met other tourists when traveling that I have remained friends with over the years.
Certainly....a tourist should be aware and wary...but one should also keep an open mind as well....one never knows when or where they will meet mr. or ms. right...or just a great friend.
eh...i guess i am not as jaded as i thought ;-)