Men are like....

[GypsyGRL]

Men are like ..........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of
you.

Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm
they are.

Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be long
enough.

Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & they
usually head right for your hips.

Men are like ........ Coffee ...... The best ones are rich, warm, & can
keep you up all night long.

Men are like ........ Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they
say.

Men are like ........ Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign
of emotion.

Men are like ........ Popcorn ...... They satisfy you, but only for a
little while.

Men are like ........ Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're
coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very
bright.

Men are like ........ Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken,
the rest are handicapped.

Written Tongue in Cheek!!
H

 

[Ed_NYC]

Women are like? onions. They make you cry, even when you peel their wrappings off.

Women are like? a snowflake. They?re beautiful, different, cold, and melt when they land on your face.

Women are like? floor tiles. If you lay them right at the very beginning, you can walk all over them.

Women are like? public toilets. If you use enough of ?em, eventually you?ll get a disease.

Women are like? computers. They take forever to warm-up and you always wish you had a newer model.

Women are like? Kentucky Fried Chicken. You open up a box and your hands feel greasy.

Women are like? horses. They look great naked and are fun to ride, but they?re a pain in the ass to clean and expensive to house.

Women are like? a deck of cards. You need a ?Heart? to love her, a ?Diamond? to marry her, a ?Club? to beat her, and a ?Spade? to bury her.

Women are like? country music. They?re irritating, corny, and all sound alike. Plus, if you start actually listening to them you?ll become depressed and start drinking a lot.

Women are like? Michael Jackson. They visually change over time for the worse and eventually need tons of makeup and want young children.

Women are like? a leather jacket. No matter how goofy or ugly you are, you always feel like a stud when in one.

Women are like? professional wrestling. Artificial, fake, and scripted?and the cheaters usually win.

Women are like? a taco. They?re most enjoyable when fresh, hot, and filled with meat.

Women are like? Saran Wrap?occasionally useful but otherwise lightweight and clingy.

Women are like? an old pair of underwear. They feel good when touching your crotch, but they wear out over time and need to be replaced.

Women are like? lava lamps?sort of fun to look at, but otherwise dim and not very illuminating.

Women are like? the New York Yankees. They seldom suck.

Women are like? laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.

Women are like? lawnmowers. If you can?t ride it, you?ve gotta push it around for a while.

Women are like? the stock market. Moody, irrational, and can bankrupt you overnight.

Women are like? potato chips. Betcha can?t have just one!

Women are like? suppository medication. They?re continually up your ass? but claim that it?s for your own good.

Women are like? a Blockbuster movie rental. You never know how many people opened ?em up before you.

Women are like? a new car. They depreciate quickly after they rack up a few miles.

Women are like? a pet turtle. They take forever to come and don?t listen.

Women are like? the horoscope. They?re unnecessary and inaccurate, but mildly amusing if not taken seriously.

Women are like? a Jackie Chan movie. The plot and dialogue don?t really matter as long as the action is good.

Women are like? butter. They spread for dough.

Women are like? a handgun. If you keep one around long enough, eventually you wanna shoot it.

Women are like? a time-share vacation home. Very enjoyable to be in, but at certain times of the month the doors are locked.

Women are like? a box of pizza. You don?t mind sharing it with a friend as long as you get the first slice.

Women are like? the Internet. If you surf around long enough, eventually you get a virus.

Women are like? men?only without logic, intelligence, deductive thought, or the ability to kill bugs.

Women are like? grilled salmon?fun to eat, if you can get past the smell.

Women are like? a graveyard plot?nothing but empty space, yet once inside ?em, you don?t have a worry in the world.

Somebody had to do it!

Ed

 

[Criss Colon]

and I wish it would have been ME!

How come all the things about WOMEN are TRUE,and the stuff about MEN is all WRONG??????? CRIS COLON