Please Help!!!
I ran so fast to the chatroom, dummy that I am, to determine the nature of your emergency, that I viciously twisted my CK Classics and have just now been informed by Seguros Buena Suerte that self-administered wedgies aren't covered anymore and that the doctor here in the ER is from Pakistan and doesn't speak Engish or Spanish or French and it's hot and sweaty here and ... never mind.