Ricardo, there's no need to react like that. There are two ways of building the future tense in Spanish -if we can call the second one I will point out a tense-. One is by conjugating any verb into future (i.e.: comer= yo comer?, tu comer?s, ?l comer?, etc.) and the other one is by using the auxiliary verb "ir" in its present tense followed by the preposition "a" and the verb in question in its infinitive form (yo voy a comer, t? vas a comer, etc.).
Now, the second way I pointed out has its almost perfect equivalent in English. Guess which is? Yes, the verb "to be" in present tense, followed by the verb "to go" in present participle plus the verb in question -which has another denomination in Grammar, I just don't remember how it is called-. That's exactly what "what am i going to do" is. Hence, the correct translation is "?Qu? voy a hacer?".
"?Qu? har? yo?" as well as being too poetic would be the translation for "What will i do?". BTW, El Chavo del Ocho is one of the funniest and most popular Latin American sitcoms ever. It comes from Mexico.