Thanks DRob I will check it out. what is the difference between the night sceen between the two towns?
By day both towns are pleasant and family-oriented spots. Your kids will make lots of friends in Sosua, especially if they speak some Espanol. Sosua Bay and the beaches at Cabarete are very nice, though as a personal matter I like the beach at Cabarete a bit better.
Cabarete tends to have a crowd of younger adults, Sosua trends towards folks over 35.
At night and especially on the weekends, the touristy area of Sosua turns into a singles scene, with a very heavy dose of pay-for-play. It's not the best place for children or non-adventurous spouses. The same is true to a lesser extent in Cabarete.
That said, there are many places in both town you and your wife can go to and have a great time without being around all that. However, you should know that although it looks like a fairly normal touristy-bar area during the day, the "red light district" in Sosua is significant, and that you shouldn't be surprised to see NA and European men and women walking around with Dominicans less than half their age.
If your children are young and in bed by 9, then this may not be a factor. If, however they are teenagers who like to get out and explore a lot, you may want to take this into consideration.