RFK Sworn in as HHS secretary. Took oath of office with hand on 32oz ribeye.

[NanSanPedro]

https://babylonbee.com/news/rfk-jr-solemnly-sworn-in-as-hhs-secretary-with-hand-on-raw-32-ounce-ribeye

RFK Jr. Sworn In On Raw 32-Ounce Ribeye

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a powerful statement, RFK Jr was sworn in as the next Secretary of Health and Human Services Thursday on a raw 32-ounce ribeye.

Sources say that instead of the traditional Bible, the new HHS Secretary used an organic, grass-fed, grass-finished ribeye, left totally uncooked so as to preserve the nutritional value.

"I need the American people to know how serious I am about health," Kennedy said prior to the solemn ceremony. "Most Bibles these days have fake leather covers that contain preservatives and dyes that could absorb into my skin and give me cancer. There's nothing safer and more healthy than a raw piece of delicious beef."

Historians say this is the first time a government official has been sworn in on a piece of meat since William Howard Taft swore his oath on a porterhouse steak slathered in gravy in 1909.

"It's time to make America healthy again, and it starts now," an emotional Kennedy said as his wife looked on in admiration.

"He always does this," said actress and fellow meat enthusiast Cheryl Hines. "He proposed with a prime rib."

Trump was reportedly impressed by Kennedy's resolve, but noted with disappointment that the steak was not well done with a side of ketchup.

 

[chico bill]

Are we going to have Babylon Bee posts now?
Admittidly the post is humorous but I found this one more apropo

Elon Tells Lil X Not To Touch That Bag Of White Powder He Found Under Oval Office Desk

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Lost amid the media scrutiny of Elon Musk's appearance with President Donald Trump at the White House yesterday to take questions regarding the Department of Government Efficiency was Musk warning his son, Lil X, not to touch that bag of white powder he found under the Oval...

babylonbee.com

 

[Joseph NY2STI]

Are we going to have Babylon Bee posts now?
Admittidly the post is humorous but I found this one more apropo

Elon Tells Lil X Not To Touch That Bag Of White Powder He Found Under Oval Office Desk

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Lost amid the media scrutiny of Elon Musk's appearance with President Donald Trump at the White House yesterday to take questions regarding the Department of Government Efficiency was Musk warning his son, Lil X, not to touch that bag of white powder he found under the Oval...

babylonbee.com

The Bee's satire is often so close to reality that they get "fact checked" by the 40 year old virgins at Snopes!
"Fake News You Can Trust".