So many families without a father

[kenshireen]

Can someone help me understand why there are so many families without a man.
Is this an accepted part of the culture...
Women have childen without first being married seems to be the norm rather than the exception.

So the child grows up without a father or knowing who or where the father is

 

[drstock]

Right on all counts except that the child usually know who and where the father is. He just keeps a very low profile to avoid paying his dues.

 

[NanSanPedro]

Ken, I hope you don't think this is a Dominican only problem. Because it's not.

 

[Joseph NY2STI]

Can someone help me understand why there are so many families without a man.
Is this an accepted part of the culture...
Women have childen without first being married seems to be the norm rather than the exception.

So the child grows up without a father or knowing who or where the father is

Are you talking about D.R. or U.S.?

 

[melphis]

Pretty much all of these children have fathers. Unfortunately most ot the sperm donors are self centered irresponsible jerks that should have been aborted or de-nutted at birth.

 

[Astucia]

Are you talking about D.R. or U.S.?

Hey - in the city where I last lived in Canada - the local govt-run housing project was known as NO-DADDY-ALLEY

 

[JD Jones]

Pretty much all of these children have fathers. Unfortunately most ot the sperm donors are self centered irresponsible jerks that should have been aborted or de-nutted at birth.

And most of the women here know the option exists but do not want to use legal means to get the father to pay.

When a woman tells me that I write them off.

 

[NanSanPedro]

And most of the women here know the option exists but do not want to use legal means to get the father to pay.

When a woman tells me that I write them off.

What's their rationale? It makes no sense.

 

[bob saunders]

Can someone help me understand why there are so many families without a man.
Is this an accepted part of the culture...
Women have childen without first being married seems to be the norm rather than the exception.

So the child grows up without a father or knowing who or where the father is

It certainly isn't just a Dominican thing, It is common throughout the Caribbean, Latin American, and a large part of the USA. My sons were/are friends with many Jamaican Canadians and half them know their fathesr, half don't and of those that know their father the fathers are rarely with the mother anymore.

 

[Gadfly]

What's their rationale? It makes no sense.

One reason is fear of revenge

 

[Gadfly]

Lack of sex ed in school & at dinner table, many get pregnant very young not even knowing how procreation works! (Birds & bees)

 

[El Hijo de Manolo]

Lack of sex ed in school & at dinner table, many get pregnant very young not even knowing how procreation works! (Birds & bees)

What country r u talking? Lol. First of all sex Ed serves no purpose except to embarrass 1/2 and make the other half of the class horny so now they're eager to go out seeking private parts. Second, "The dinner table"??? There is no dinner table in the DR for the segment which is the theme of this thread. Come on. No one talks to these kids. They are out doing what they want til whatever hour. There are little to no consequences for actions. The youth are more fresh than ever. Boys are beyond unruly and the young girls can't wait for some chamaquito to mount them on the back of their 130 dollar moto with the plastic naked lady seat cover so they can drag up and down the street popping wheelies. Oh that's my man! All they know is scrogging. No father figure and many of the mom's parade countless bed partners in and out the front and back doors for years. How would you have a shot if that was your upbringing?

Adding, having your heroes who are tik tok influencers twerking half naked and talking about the size of their sex partners. Male tik tokers grabbing their crotch and gyrating, making sex motions for the little girls watching at home because no supervision.

 

[keepcoming]

Can someone help me understand why there are so many families without a man.
Is this an accepted part of the culture...
Women have childen without first being married seems to be the norm rather than the exception.

So the child grows up without a father or knowing who or where the father is

Really, again you are 75 years old.? It is accepted, yes the child grows up without his biological father (maybe). Yes women have children without being married.

 

[Joseph NY2STI]

What's their rationale? It makes no sense.

I've known several over the years and the rationale is nearly always the same: "I have my pride".
Not enough good food, not enough good clothing, but lots of PRIDE.

 

[JD Jones]

What's their rationale? It makes no sense.

The reasons I most commonly hear?
1. He doesn't have a job so he can't give me anything.
2. He knows he should support his child. I am not going to chase after him.
3. If I go to court and get a judgement, they throw him in jail if doesn't pay, and he wouldn't be able to pay me anyway.
4. I still love him.
5. I don't know where he is.
6. I don't know who the father is.

My ex's sister got pregnant at 13 by a drug runner. (It didn't help that she could easily pass for an older woman.)
He took her to a party, got her drunk and took her virginity. That's all it took.
She later learned he had 5 other girls pregnant in the residential (Invivienda) and one of them lived in the same building!
He had light skin, blue eyes, cute, and had a brand new car even though he never had a job. Honestly, he came across as a nice kid.
Before she could have the baby, he was found executed with a dozen bullets in his face. Some say it was a revenge killing by a father.
So... Guess who got stuck with the hospital bill?

 

[Yourmaninvegas]

I personally think it depends a lot more of the SES variables of the social group you happen to be speaking of no matter what country you want to point out.
I thought this was DR1 but maybe some posters get their geography confused.
Move up the SES level, more fathers in the home.
Not the rule.
Just something I have noticed during my time living here.

 

[Gadfly]

What country r u talking? Lol. First of all sex Ed serves no purpose except to embarrass 1/2 and make the other half of the class horny so now they're eager to go out seeking private parts. Second, "The dinner table"??? There is no dinner table in the DR for the segment which is the theme of this thread. Come on. No one talks to these kids. They are out doing what they want til whatever hour. There are little to no consequences for actions. The youth are more fresh than ever. Boys are beyond unruly and the young girls can't wait for some chamaquito to mount them on the back of their 130 dollar moto with the plastic naked lady seat cover so they can drag up and down the street popping wheelies. Oh that's my man! All they know is scrogging. No father figure and many of the mom's parade countless bed partners in and out the front and back doors for years. How would you have a shot if that was your upbringing?

Adding, having your heroes who are tik tok influencers twerking half naked and talking about the size of their sex partners. Male tik tokers grabbing their crotch and gyrating, making sex motions for the little girls watching at home because no supervision.

Rep Dom duh! How bout by the fireside? Point is TALK TO KIDS BOUT sex. You prefer them learnin in the streets? Off you go junior to the school of hard knocks?

 

[Tom0910]

What's their rationale? It makes no sense.

I have had numerous conversations with young mothers concerning this and the answer from ALL of them is that they are in fear of the physical harm the father will do to them.

 

[kenshireen]

I've known several over the years and the rationale is nearly always the same: "I have my pride".
Not enough good food, not enough good clothing, but lots of PRIDE.

Pride for what? What are they prideful for?

 

[kenshireen]

The reasons I most commonly hear?
1. He doesn't have a job so he can't give me anything.
2. He knows he should support his child. I am not going to chase after him.
3. If I go to court and get a judgement, they throw him in jail if doesn't pay, and he wouldn't be able to pay me anyway.
4. I still love him.
5. I don't know where he is.
6. I don't know who the father is.

My ex's sister got pregnant at 13 by a drug runner. (It didn't help that she could easily pass for an older woman.)
He took her to a party, got her drunk and took her virginity. That's all it took.
She later learned he had 5 other girls pregnant in the residential (Invivienda) and one of them lived in the same building!
He had light skin, blue eyes, cute, and had a brand new car even though he never had a job. Honestly, he came across as a nice kid.
Before she could have the baby, he was found executed with a dozen bullets in his face. Some say it was a revenge killing by a father.
So... Guess who got stuck with the hospital bill?

Tom0910 also mentions that the mothers fear retribution from the fathers... Is this true