Hi all,
My 1st time posting here and I have an idea of what the advice may be, as I have been following this forum for a while now.
This is my ongoing (unfortunately most likely Sankie drama too)
Is sad and breaks my heart to say that too.
It's true, we all like to think our Dominican man is different.
Like a lot of women that post here for advice and help.
I too am confused, sometimes more after reading these posts.
I've been around the block big time in my home country when it comes to relationships.
I'm not naive here in the US, but it's like the heat fries my brain when I'm in the DR and my common sense fails me!
American guys can really be jerks too, but in many different and cultural ways to some Dominican men.
This could be long, so I will try and keep it brief.
After having been in some crappy relationships in the US, I came on hols to the DR back a little over 18 months ago.
I met my now Dominican Boyfriend in Sosua.
We did originally bond on a few levels at the beginning.The usual stuff, had great fun, have been back to see him a few times since etc.
Then back in February this year came that dreaded line, 'My Mum is sick, needs a operation'.
I do have a heart and if I could even help out a friend in the same situation anywhere, then I would.
So I sent the 2100 pesos.
At the time, I said to myself, well if he is lying to me, thats ok as I can afford it. If he has to lie to me to get rent money for the next few months, I can deal with that.
After having since spoken to some of my friends in the DR, it seems like the money I sent him wouldn't have been enough for his Mum's operation.
Does anyone know anything about charges for a Gynae-type op there?
But I believed him and Mum seems to be ever so grateful and thankful to see me this time around, like I saved her life or something.
What do you say to the Dominican Mother of your Boyfriend, without offending? 'Hey Mum, can I see your stiches please to prove your son didn't lie to me and con me?'
I think not.
I guess the issue is I'm beginning to feel more as we go along in the relationship, that I am beginning to be used more financially each time I go.
I'm not living in the DR yet and have just come back to the US this time after having seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks.
We certainly hit some 'real' relationship issues. Mainly cultural actually, alot of the normal stuff that you would hit in a relationship with anyone even of your own culture.
I don't see us being together long term, as I think culturally my now Boyfriend would probably be better off with someone in his own culture. It's just the way he is.
But it is hard to break this, even though I see it not lasting long term.
I actually intended to move to the DR anyways before I met my Boyfriend.
What's worrying me now, is possibly moving there sometime within the next year and feeling like I have to support the whole family, ie his Mom and co.
I can barely afford to buy there, and if we were still together, then yes my boyfriend would live with me.
But I couldn't support the rest of the family, as is expected in true Dominican style.
Any genuine Dominicans out there, have any genuine advice for me on the last point specifically?
Regards
My 1st time posting here and I have an idea of what the advice may be, as I have been following this forum for a while now.
This is my ongoing (unfortunately most likely Sankie drama too)
Is sad and breaks my heart to say that too.
It's true, we all like to think our Dominican man is different.
Like a lot of women that post here for advice and help.
I too am confused, sometimes more after reading these posts.
I've been around the block big time in my home country when it comes to relationships.
I'm not naive here in the US, but it's like the heat fries my brain when I'm in the DR and my common sense fails me!
American guys can really be jerks too, but in many different and cultural ways to some Dominican men.
This could be long, so I will try and keep it brief.
After having been in some crappy relationships in the US, I came on hols to the DR back a little over 18 months ago.
I met my now Dominican Boyfriend in Sosua.
We did originally bond on a few levels at the beginning.The usual stuff, had great fun, have been back to see him a few times since etc.
Then back in February this year came that dreaded line, 'My Mum is sick, needs a operation'.
I do have a heart and if I could even help out a friend in the same situation anywhere, then I would.
So I sent the 2100 pesos.
At the time, I said to myself, well if he is lying to me, thats ok as I can afford it. If he has to lie to me to get rent money for the next few months, I can deal with that.
After having since spoken to some of my friends in the DR, it seems like the money I sent him wouldn't have been enough for his Mum's operation.
Does anyone know anything about charges for a Gynae-type op there?
But I believed him and Mum seems to be ever so grateful and thankful to see me this time around, like I saved her life or something.
What do you say to the Dominican Mother of your Boyfriend, without offending? 'Hey Mum, can I see your stiches please to prove your son didn't lie to me and con me?'
I think not.
I guess the issue is I'm beginning to feel more as we go along in the relationship, that I am beginning to be used more financially each time I go.
I'm not living in the DR yet and have just come back to the US this time after having seen my boyfriend for 6 weeks.
We certainly hit some 'real' relationship issues. Mainly cultural actually, alot of the normal stuff that you would hit in a relationship with anyone even of your own culture.
I don't see us being together long term, as I think culturally my now Boyfriend would probably be better off with someone in his own culture. It's just the way he is.
But it is hard to break this, even though I see it not lasting long term.
I actually intended to move to the DR anyways before I met my Boyfriend.
What's worrying me now, is possibly moving there sometime within the next year and feeling like I have to support the whole family, ie his Mom and co.
I can barely afford to buy there, and if we were still together, then yes my boyfriend would live with me.
But I couldn't support the rest of the family, as is expected in true Dominican style.
Any genuine Dominicans out there, have any genuine advice for me on the last point specifically?
Regards
