Two Old Guys At Walmart

[CyaBye3015]

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter -- let's look for yours."

 

[Criss Colon]

Note To "CyeBye","Paddy" and OTHER REGULER Contributors!

Thanks for lots of good "Material"!
But, You really don't need a separate post for each "JOKE"! Just put "Todays Yuks" or some general title,and post away!

I like that better because I don't have to keep going back and clicking on post after post.

Anybody "Second" my "Emotion"???? CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

 

[AnnaC]

The only time I come into the clown bin is when a thread has 10 replies, that's when I know something interesting is going on :laugh:



OK OK I agree cc, if one person wants to post 5 jokes of the day do it all in one thread,

Like "Jokes of Wednesday morning" ect.

 

[beachlv]

Thanks for lots of good "Material"!
But, You really don't need a separate post for each "JOKE"! Just put "Todays Yuks" or some general title,and post away!

I like that better because I don't have to keep going back and clicking on post after post.

Anybody "Second" my "Emotion"???? CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

my two cents...
I like each joke on its own page. Having one joke per post makes it easier for us readers to save them locally by joke title. In addition, doesn't having more pages on DR1 enhance search engine ratings for DR1 and therefore produce more income for DR1?
Again.... just my two cents.

 

[paddy]

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter -- let's look for yours."

my kind of joke..lol

 

[rellosk]

I like each joke on its own page...

I agree, although if someone has a related joke it would be good if they would post it in an existing thread.

 

[paddy]

two old guys on a bench

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter -- let's look for yours."

There were two old men sitting on a park bench passing the day away talking. One old man asked the other "How is your wife??"
Second old man replied "I think she is Dead!"

First old man "What do you mean you THINK she is dead???"

Second old man "Well.... the sex is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."

 

[paddy]

I agree, although if someone has a related joke it would be good if they would post it in an existing thread.

usually when someone tells a joke..it jars another persons memory about a similiar joke that they once heard...and it's a good idea to use the same thread.

 

[rellosk]

usually when someone tells a joke..it jars another persons memory about a similiar joke that they once heard...and it's a good idea to use the same thread.

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong.

Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman."

"What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.

Between the sobs and sniffles, he answers, "You can't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love." He breaks down, no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around him. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have a perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"

The old man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."

 

[rellosk]

And on a similar note....

Bill, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and outright charm while hanging over Bills arm and listening intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"

Bill says, "I lied about my age."

His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bill smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

 

[rellosk]

One more ...

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm telling everybody."

 

[paddy]

One more ...

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm telling everybody."

you're on a roll...lol

 

[Ricardo900]

And on a similar note....

Bill, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and outright charm while hanging over Bills arm and listening intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. They corner him and ask, "Bill how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bill replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're knocked over, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"

Bill says, "I lied about my age."

His friends respond, "What do you mean? Did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bill smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

Hilarious!!!