Unwed Mother

[GringoRubio]

I don't know your financial situation, but if you're not ready to make a break, I'd take some pressure off the relationship by setting up another residence. It sounds like you're sitting on a powder keg, and you need to let things cool off. If he's making good money, I'd just ask for either your own place or for him to find a new place.

Don't lie to him, but if you still love him, just say so and that you love him enough to let go if that's the best thing for him.

Sorry all this is happening to you, but there are definitely worst things. Definitely, do not threaten him. Relationships often have an expiration date, and sometimes you need to acknowledge that things are beyond your control. Acceptance is a bitch. I've been there.

Also, successful men attract a lot of attention from women. I think there's a narcissism that can take over and they will start to flaunt their wealth. Women are just part of the equation. It seems to be built into the culture, so success may be more of a curse that a blessing. Only you know how flexible you can be, but I'd strongly recommend not being a cock block. If that's what he wants, so be it. You may need to end it just for mental sanity.

I think there are some protection for unwed couples. You'd need to check with a lawyer, but as a Gringa, I think your prospects are poor.

As for whatever venture he has going, that you're reluctant to give up future profits, not sure. Given his legal status, it sounds like an informal business, so again, it's going to be difficult.

Also, it depends a lot on how the father treats his child and wants to continue a relationship with the child.

Keep in mind that there are a lot of jaded people here. You could flee with the child, but Isuspect you have options.

 

[santiagodude]

Agree to leave and ask him to help you do it.  Don't risk your life over money.  

 

[La Rubia]

The answers to the things you didn't say really influence the advice you get.

What is your relationship with his family? Don't isolate yourself. There may be a sympathetic female (aunt, grandma, that will take you in during a separation.) Women who become victims of domestic violence are happy to just get out alive. You are at high risk of being such a victim. As hard as it is to give up what you believe is rightly yours, make a plan to step away from the situation without putting yourself and your child at risk. The time of separation or when a woman leaves is the most dangerous. Have a plan.

Because you have knowingly accepted living with someone who is using an alias, it would seem that you are limited in your legal options, not because you are unwed. I don't think you want to open that ball of wax, as it will likely result in his alias being revealed, which may mean he could be arrested.

Don't rule out contacting the US embassy, or your own family. Have you ever travelled back home? Had visitors? Know other Americans? While there are details, I'm sure, you don't want to share, I would encourage you to make contact with your own family for your sake and that of your child.

And don't sell yourself short. At six, your child is in school allowing you to go back to school or work. There are no guarantees and the fact that your SO is living on borrowed time, whether your relationship is going well or not, you need to consider that you are going to be a single parent eventually. Let it be on your terms looking forward to a new future, not back to what could have been.

 

[CinCity]

Thanks for all the comments, even the ignorant ones. I did leave out details for fear that someone might find out who I am. My post to this forum was more for legal advice not ignorant judgmental burla. I am not in danger and neither is my child. My daughter and I have double nationality. Point is he had a child in the street, has multiple legal projects and wants me to leave so he may start a new family with the companies I helped him build. I am not married and was wondering if dominican law required official marriage to distribute assets.

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[CinCity]

Someone should call Crime Stopper on your stupid a** crying about how unfair leaving empty handed after you supported Pablito Escobar for 2 years following his escape from the US.

Lol. I helped him for 13 years not 2. And yes unfair to leave so he can start a picture perfect family with a woman who is as young as when he met me.

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[CinCity]

 So this woman is engaged in an ongoing conspiracy to allow a person to escape justice.  Shut your mouth, get your kid back to the USA and choose a better man next time.  Crime stoppers...omg. Ridiculous. Call crime stoppers on yourself. 

Living under an assumed name. Dang, I thought I had a thing for bad boys. 

I was looking for legal advice not ignorant petty advice. My mom comes often I'm not in danger so stfu and don't be so judgmental. Crimes weren't violent, actually smarter than your extended vocabulary self can conjur up. Smh

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[keepcoming]

If your living with someone who has to use a alias then yes I would say there is danger. If your living with someone who had to flee the country for legal reasons then yes I would say there is danger. Unfortunately the reality is what it is. Is it fair, no but you must have known the risks. That is great he built his "empire" but is that anyway for your child to live with a parent that has to use a alias to avoid the law.

 

[CinCity]

Maybe El Esposo aka Papi found new wealth selling empanadas from his fritura en El Barrio.

Yeah, in your Barrio lleno de lodo. You're the one who peals my plantains.

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[keepcoming]

OP you received some not so nice responses but you also received good advice. When you put it out there that your with someone who had to flee the US and use a alias for legal reasons you can expect some not so nice responses. But seriously I would take my child and leave. I would set a better example for my child. Once in the US you can figure out legally what you can do, at a safe distance.

 

[CinCity]

The answers to the things you didn't say really influence the advice you get.

What is your relationship with his family? Don't isolate yourself. There may be a sympathetic female (aunt, grandma, that will take you in during a separation.) Women who become victims of domestic violence are happy to just get out alive. You are at high risk of being such a victim. As hard as it is to give up what you believe is rightly yours, make a plan to step away from the situation without putting yourself and your child at risk. The time of separation or when a woman leaves is the most dangerous. Have a plan.

Because you have knowingly accepted living with someone who is using an alias, it would seem that you are limited in your legal options, not because you are unwed. I don't think you want to open that ball of wax, as it will likely result in his alias being revealed, which may mean he could be arrested.

Don't rule out contacting the US embassy, or your own family. Have you ever travelled back home? Had visitors? Know other Americans? While there are details, I'm sure, you don't want to share, I would encourage you to make contact with your own family for your sake and that of your child.

And don't sell yourself short. At six, your child is in school allowing you to go back to school or work. There are no guarantees and the fact that your SO is living on borrowed time, whether your relationship is going well or not, you need to consider that you are going to be a single parent eventually. Let it be on your terms looking forward to a new future, not back to what could have been.

Thank you for that, and yeah my mom visits three times a year and she knows the situation. No violence here though, my daughter comes first and foremost. I would never risk her safety. He came here and became the typical dominican man... becomes wealthy, women flock, and suddenly I become the nagging needy housewife. I love him but I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. I want to leave as he has asked. No one wants to be where there are not wanted. I was wondering if dominican law entitles me to something even though we're unwed.

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[sanpedrogringo]

Yeah, in your Barrio lleno de lodo. You're the one who peals my plantains.

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I may peel my platanos from time to time, this would be true, as I do like to eat platanos in various forms, but I don't use an alias, nor am I on the run from another country, nor have I participated in crimes, smart ones or dumb ones, nor am I in your predicament, and I surely don't need an internet forum to tell me what to do with my life or what's best for my child. Paz y Dios te bendiga.

 

[AlterEgo]

A couple of things.

Unless I missed it, where was your daughter born?  If in DR, you may have to get written permission from him to take her to the USA 

And I'd contact a reputable lawyer regarding what you're entitled to, it's been said several times in the Legal Forum that DR recognizes relationships like yours as legal. 

 

[CinCity]

OP you received some not so nice responses but you also received good advice. When you put it out there that your with someone who had to flee the US and use a alias for legal reasons you can expect some not so nice responses. But seriously I would take my child and leave. I would set a better example for my child. Once in the US you can figure out legally what you can do, at a safe distance.

I understand but I was trying to put the least possible information as to not get identified. Not everything that is illegal is violent. People are judgemental and that doesn't bother me because those are the ones who have worse skeletons in their closets.

I was looking for legal advice. I'm wondering if he wants me leave because I AM entitled to stuff and if I leave I forfeit it. Idk, I'll try contacting a lawyer, someone he can't pay off.

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[keepcoming]

How legal would any agreements be if he is using a alias? How actively are they (law enforcement) looking for him? is there some type of reward being offered for information about him? If so then eventually someone will talk. As said previously it is just not a position I would want my child subjected to.

 

[CinCity]

I may peel my platanos from time to time, this would be true, as I do like to eat platanos in various forms, but I don't use an alias, nor am I on the run from another country, nor have I participated in crimes, smart ones or dumb ones, nor am I in your predicament, and I surely don't need an internet forum to tell me what to do with my life or what's best for my child. Paz y Dios te bendiga.

Um, i dont give a **** what you eat or what you've done with you life hun. I was asking for legal advice (help), not safety advice or how to care for my child...you may have missed that.

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[keepcoming]

OP...if he can pay people off like you say truly you need to leave. Remember where you are, money talks here. I would not trust anyone with this. Are you entitled to something, probably. Is it worth it, probably not. If I was with someone who could pay people off, etc...I would have been gone. I really wish you luck...

 

[CinCity]

A couple of things.

Unless I missed it, where was your daughter born?  If in DR, you may have to get written permission from him to take her to the USA 

And I'd contact a reputable lawyer regarding what you're entitled to, it's been said several times in the Legal Forum that DR recognizes relationships like yours as legal. 

Thank you! Finally some legal help. My daughter was born in US but has dominican passport as well. We are not held hostage, we can come and go as we please, he actually WANTS us to leave. I just think it's bs after all these years I leave without companies I helped build. My ideas! I was the brain, he found the cash. Me being American will we still be considered married? That's my question. Also I need a good lawyer.

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[AlterEgo]

In your case, if you want a bulletproof lawyer, contact Guzman Ariza, offices all over DR.  

Www.drlawyer.com 

 

[JD Jones]

Jeez. somebody help me here. What's the name of the American woman married to the Dominican TV Station owner who decided she wanted out and he got physical with her? She sued, he said he had nothing, and she got nothing. I think she was lucky to get away with her life.

I'm guessing the OP has never heard about that case, but it's a great example of advice to leave while she can.

 

[CinCity]

Just want to say thank you to everyone. I don't know if I can delete this forum but I'm gonna try. I understand some responses weren't nice but I did leave out a lot of detail as to not be identified. My "husband" is well known in this country and it's not in my best interest for him to find out I'm looking for legal advice before leaving. Bless you all.

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