Italian Ways......
1- you've had at least one relative who wore a
black dress every day for an entire year after a
funeral
2- you spent your entire childhood thinking what
you ate for lunch was pronounced
"sangwich"
3- your family dog understood Italian
4- every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was
spent visiting your grandparents
5- you've experienced the scientific phenomenon of
150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard for
a family cookout
6- you were surprised to discover that the FDA
recommends that you eat three balanced meals a
day, not seven
7- you ate macaroni (pasta for the non-Italians)
for dinner at least four times a week
8- you grew up thinking that no fruit or
vegetables had a fixed price at the
market................everything was negotiable
through haggling
9- you were forced to watch Lawrence Welk and Ed
Sullivan every weekend
10- you were as tall as your grandmother by the
age of seven
11- you never knew anyone whose last name didn't
end in a vowel
12- you thought that black nylons were supposed to
be worn rolled up to the knees
13- you were surprised to find out that wine was
actually sold in stores
14- you never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any
Friday
15- you thought that Catholicism was the only
religion in the world
16- you ate your salad after the main course
17- you were hit at least once with a wooden spoon
18- you thought every meal had to be eaten with a
hunk of bread in your other hand
19- you learned to play bocci before entering grade school
20- you can understand Italian but you can't speak it
21- you have at least one ancestor who was a cop, mobster or
baker!!!
22- you grew up thinking a toilet was called a
"buc-a-house"
23- you were surprised to learn that most kitchen
utensils had another name that didn't end in a
vowel
25- all of your uncles fought in a world war
26- you have at least six male relatives named
Tony, Nickie, Joey, Frankie, Mikie, and Johnny-boy
27- you drank wine before you were a teenager
29- your yard didn't have a patch of dirt that
didn't have either a flower or tomato/parsley/basil/
squash/pepper/eggplant growing on it
30- your grandparent's furniture was as
comfortable as sitting on sandpaper
31- you thought that speaking loud was normal
32- you thought that cookie cakes and the
tarantella were all common at all weddings
33- your mother was overly protective of the males in the
family
no
matter how old they were
34- every lunch meat you ate as a kid ended in a vowel
35- there was a crucifix in every room of the
house
36- sons never had to wash dishes because it was
considered women's work !
37- you weren't comfortable dating a boy unless
your father and brother approved
38- you know what lemon ice is
39- you know what real "black" coffee is
40- you always had chocolate and nuts with the
fruit course at dinner
41- meatball sandwiches were a standard lunch item
42- you never knew you could buy pizza from a store
43- eating out usually meant going to a relatives house
44- undershirts didn't have sleeves
45- most of the people that lived in your
"building" were related to you
46- everything tastes good with parmigiano
47- tomato sauce made with chicken wings was the best
48- you had coffee with lots of milk (latte cafe)
for breakfast by the time you were three years old
49- eggs were always fried in the middle of a
piece of Italian bread
50- left over cold spaghetti is one of the major
food groups
51- every girl was "make-able" except your sisters
and girl cousins
52- you wore a white suit with short pants when
you made your first holy Communion
53-you had to go to the 9 o'clock mass every
Sunday and sit with your class
54- nuns could see out of the backs of their heads
55- stickball was almost a religion
56- plastic furniture coverings were hot and
uncomfortable in the summer
57- air conditioning was sitting on the fire
escape or going up on the roof on hot nights
58- any adult could yell at you if you got out of
line
59- you only ate fried eels and bacala on
Christmas Eve
60- you only had a salami pie and Easter bread
(with the hard boiled egg in the crust) at
Easter time
61- honey balls (struffella) and bows were only
made at Christmas time
62- people actually celebrated name days
63- cookouts always had at least one tray of
baked macaroni
64- a trip to the beach required at least three
days of food preparation
65- you had a minimum of 20 relatives in Brooklyn
and the Bronx
66- there was no such thing as a piece of clothing
that could not be patched
67- most of the older women worked in dress making
"shops"
68- you never knew you uncle's name was Frank
until his funeral........everyone always
called him "Cheech"
69- you thought that "fat", "little", skinny",
"tall", "black", "bald", "baby", "big-nose",
"cock-eyed" were actually part of peoples given names
70- you couldn't believe that your non-Italian
friends didn't "scarpette" when they ate
71- at least one relative threw themselves on the
coffin at the cemetery
72- you wondered, why didn't everybody wear a
cross, miraculous medal, or a scapular
around their necks
73- you told everyone your mother was the best
cook in the whole world
1- you've had at least one relative who wore a
black dress every day for an entire year after a
funeral
2- you spent your entire childhood thinking what
you ate for lunch was pronounced
"sangwich"
3- your family dog understood Italian
4- every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was
spent visiting your grandparents
5- you've experienced the scientific phenomenon of
150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard for
a family cookout
6- you were surprised to discover that the FDA
recommends that you eat three balanced meals a
day, not seven
7- you ate macaroni (pasta for the non-Italians)
for dinner at least four times a week
8- you grew up thinking that no fruit or
vegetables had a fixed price at the
market................everything was negotiable
through haggling
9- you were forced to watch Lawrence Welk and Ed
Sullivan every weekend
10- you were as tall as your grandmother by the
age of seven
11- you never knew anyone whose last name didn't
end in a vowel
12- you thought that black nylons were supposed to
be worn rolled up to the knees
13- you were surprised to find out that wine was
actually sold in stores
14- you never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any
Friday
15- you thought that Catholicism was the only
religion in the world
16- you ate your salad after the main course
17- you were hit at least once with a wooden spoon
18- you thought every meal had to be eaten with a
hunk of bread in your other hand
19- you learned to play bocci before entering grade school
20- you can understand Italian but you can't speak it
21- you have at least one ancestor who was a cop, mobster or
baker!!!
22- you grew up thinking a toilet was called a
"buc-a-house"
23- you were surprised to learn that most kitchen
utensils had another name that didn't end in a
vowel
25- all of your uncles fought in a world war
26- you have at least six male relatives named
Tony, Nickie, Joey, Frankie, Mikie, and Johnny-boy
27- you drank wine before you were a teenager
29- your yard didn't have a patch of dirt that
didn't have either a flower or tomato/parsley/basil/
squash/pepper/eggplant growing on it
30- your grandparent's furniture was as
comfortable as sitting on sandpaper
31- you thought that speaking loud was normal
32- you thought that cookie cakes and the
tarantella were all common at all weddings
33- your mother was overly protective of the males in the
family
no
matter how old they were
34- every lunch meat you ate as a kid ended in a vowel
35- there was a crucifix in every room of the
house
36- sons never had to wash dishes because it was
considered women's work !
37- you weren't comfortable dating a boy unless
your father and brother approved
38- you know what lemon ice is
39- you know what real "black" coffee is
40- you always had chocolate and nuts with the
fruit course at dinner
41- meatball sandwiches were a standard lunch item
42- you never knew you could buy pizza from a store
43- eating out usually meant going to a relatives house
44- undershirts didn't have sleeves
45- most of the people that lived in your
"building" were related to you
46- everything tastes good with parmigiano
47- tomato sauce made with chicken wings was the best
48- you had coffee with lots of milk (latte cafe)
for breakfast by the time you were three years old
49- eggs were always fried in the middle of a
piece of Italian bread
50- left over cold spaghetti is one of the major
food groups
51- every girl was "make-able" except your sisters
and girl cousins
52- you wore a white suit with short pants when
you made your first holy Communion
53-you had to go to the 9 o'clock mass every
Sunday and sit with your class
54- nuns could see out of the backs of their heads
55- stickball was almost a religion
56- plastic furniture coverings were hot and
uncomfortable in the summer
57- air conditioning was sitting on the fire
escape or going up on the roof on hot nights
58- any adult could yell at you if you got out of
line
59- you only ate fried eels and bacala on
Christmas Eve
60- you only had a salami pie and Easter bread
(with the hard boiled egg in the crust) at
Easter time
61- honey balls (struffella) and bows were only
made at Christmas time
62- people actually celebrated name days
63- cookouts always had at least one tray of
baked macaroni
64- a trip to the beach required at least three
days of food preparation
65- you had a minimum of 20 relatives in Brooklyn
and the Bronx
66- there was no such thing as a piece of clothing
that could not be patched
67- most of the older women worked in dress making
"shops"
68- you never knew you uncle's name was Frank
until his funeral........everyone always
called him "Cheech"
69- you thought that "fat", "little", skinny",
"tall", "black", "bald", "baby", "big-nose",
"cock-eyed" were actually part of peoples given names
70- you couldn't believe that your non-Italian
friends didn't "scarpette" when they ate
71- at least one relative threw themselves on the
coffin at the cemetery
72- you wondered, why didn't everybody wear a
cross, miraculous medal, or a scapular
around their necks
73- you told everyone your mother was the best
cook in the whole world