I agree with Lesley that a lot of woman that come to this board to post their sankie story or ask a sankie question receive substantially less respect than their male counterparts and many times advice they were not asking for. Although I think it is wrong, I can see why it happens. There are WAY more women than men posting about meeting a guy in a one week stand and wondering if it is true love and asking have they been "sankified". This inevitably leads the men on this board to assume that that on a whole, women appear much more gullable to be sucked in by sankies. I can honestly see how that conclusion can be drawn. BUT there have been men that have posted equally stupid questions and have not been slammed. In general, women have more tact in responding to such posts (whether the original poster was male or female) and therefore will not stoop to name calling and disrespect. Men will be men and although they cannot and will not admit this, it is human nature to degrade women for their questionable sexual encounters and cheer their male counterparts on for similar conquests - this happens the world over and no matter how unfair it is, there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.
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Fiesta Mama said:
Very interesting but not totally accurate.
This is the procedure for a guy.
1. recognizes he has an itch that needs to be scratched
2. finds someone to scratch it and agree on price for services rendered
3. has it scratched
4. pays for service
5. spreads the word of customer satisfaction to others
This is the procedure for a woman.
1. recognizes she has an itch that needs to be scratched
2. ponders the need while talking to others and gaining input
3. lies to herself cuz her mother raised a good girl and disregards input from others
4. consults with others and realizes that life has changed since she was a girl
5. looks for someone while telling herself she really isn't looking
6. by happenchance meets someone much more considerate than any other previous encounters
7. interviews the new person further to see just how considerate he is and how he responds to her gifts
8. does the "nasty" cuz mother did in fact raise a good girl
9. wonders if this guy could be the "one" cuz true love is sometimes found according to the soap operas she's been watching
10. does the nasty a few more times in hopes that sex will take his mind off his ailing grandmother and countless other problems
11. becomes separated from the "one" (vacation was over)
12. ponders spending the rest of her life with him (absence makes the heart grow fonder)
13. shares her thoughts with friends and confidants
14. becomes certain that this "one" was different from all the rest (some people do win the lottery)
15. seeks additional input from forums that she disregarded in the first place
16. argues with many as she attempts to validate her actions
17. droans on and on while constantly checking travel arrangements
18. more and more of the same
Guys simplify things, women tend to complicate them.
Call it what it is, accept it and get on with life.
Be efficient in search of love and/or lust.
Don't burden others with your problems even though "no lifes" like me sometimes enjoy reading them.
DISCLAMER: This is the way it looks to me. Do not take this post as a bashing of anyone. Apologies in advance if i've offended anyone.
Yes Alan, I agree with Larry that that was very good and you did it without BASHING women and made me laugh! I think you have fairly accurately deciphered the difference between the male/female brain. However I must point out that most sankies don't ask for money the week the women meet them... hence the women returning home think they have found a DDD that and that posts on this board are unfairly met with critical comments about experiences they have not yet encountered as the pleas for money usually come much later (after the hook line and sinker)! I only wish I could convince the men how believable these men are (and I am not talking in terms of a one week fling... I am referring to months and months of phone calls, visits, etc.). They are sincere, they are great lovers, they are (for the most part) attractive, THEY ARE LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE LOL! While some women may ask seemingly stupid questions after a one week fling, many others have not asked for advice but in fact have received it when mentioning they are dating/marrying a Dominican. This is when the unsolicited advice comes in. Male species take heed - only give advice when asked and only aswer the question at hand and when you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all (and yes there is a difference between honest and attacking).
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Oh yeah... You actually expect someone that owns a Ford to own up to the fact that they should have bought a Chevy? Give me a break, that isn't human nature. They will burn up in the car before they admit to a mistake.Lesley D said:
You are thinking that these women take advice which they don't. That is why they all get hammered in advance because they don't listen the first time.
Scott
Relax, okay. Just relax! The person responded. I "thanked her" . Is this an issue now too?
With respect to your last line. I am not thinking anything beyond what I read. I read the person's response- PUNTO FINAL. Don't assume what you think I am thinking.
With respect to your last line. I am not thinking anything beyond what I read. I read the person's response- PUNTO FINAL. Don't assume what you think I am thinking.
Escott said:
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I am relaxed. I am sitting here sipping coffee and cruising the internet. Why should I NOT be relaxed.Lesley D said:
Everyone has the right to their opinions. I just expressed mine.
Have a nice day.
Scott
Guys a problem solver women are comunicators
When a guy asked a question he has admited he dont know and wants to know. When a woman asked a question she wants to have the girlfriend support group.
Guys dont do the support group we do information exchange and it is just a difference that leads to messes.
John
When a guy asked a question he has admited he dont know and wants to know. When a woman asked a question she wants to have the girlfriend support group.
Guys dont do the support group we do information exchange and it is just a difference that leads to messes.
John
Purlitzer prize..
Clear, concise, humourous, insightful, perspicacious, inspired, worthy of the Purlitzer prize.
AlaninDR said:
Clear, concise, humourous, insightful, perspicacious, inspired, worthy of the Purlitzer prize.
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It's simple
Look at me! Here I am in the DR right now. Sure it cost me $700 to get here, sure I have additional expenses while I am here. Yes I will buy my love a new TV on Monday. Yes, I will continue to send money when I return.
Who gives a rats AX, I am a big boy. I know what I am doing. Is it foolish? MAY BE! Do I feel good about it? Yes I do. Dominican love is all good. Can you afford it? If not, I say make more money and give it a try. After all broken hearts always mend.
They say money can not buy you love, but love can sure make you feel good for a long time, regardless of the cost.
Charlie
Look at me! Here I am in the DR right now. Sure it cost me $700 to get here, sure I have additional expenses while I am here. Yes I will buy my love a new TV on Monday. Yes, I will continue to send money when I return.
Who gives a rats AX, I am a big boy. I know what I am doing. Is it foolish? MAY BE! Do I feel good about it? Yes I do. Dominican love is all good. Can you afford it? If not, I say make more money and give it a try. After all broken hearts always mend.
They say money can not buy you love, but love can sure make you feel good for a long time, regardless of the cost.
Charlie
Cono Charlie!!
Spend your money as you please, it's your money so use it to buy whatever gives you satisfation!!!
Man, you just got there and you can not stay away form the computer. You are supposed to be Honeymooning and instead you are posting here. What, the Viagra had not kicked in yet?, hehe.chuckuindy said:
Spend your money as you please, it's your money so use it to buy whatever gives you satisfation!!!
SHE MAY HAVE THE "RIGHT"...BUT IN THE END SHE WON'T GET THE RESPECT SHE THINKS SHE IS DUE. Sorry dude, much of the what drives a guy to have a one-night stands is the "challenge" of getting a girl to compromise her values -- you see, most girls don't get caught up with flings without a little help.
. If the guy says all the right things and makes all right moves, we might get lucky --see what I mean? Women, on the other hand, don't have to "say all the right things" to get us into bed, they don't have to make "all the right moves"...all they have to do is say "when". We guys will be more then willing to oblige them --right? They can get us WHENEVER they want. so a one-night stand (for women) is kind of a cheap thrill --so to speak. it's kinda them squandering a blatant advantage they have over men in the dating scene. Therein lies the double-standard.
The "double-standard" exist because there have always been two different playing fields and two sets of rules between men and women -- these rules are SET and DEFINED by women. When we start living in a world where we (guys) can call the shots in the courting scene then I think women will have a legitimate gripe.
Yes, but did he get her because he was a smooth player or because she was just EASY? there is a difference, or does it even matter anymore?
Yes, but that's not because we are trying to repress our little "sisters" or "daughters" sexuality --it's because we know that she won't be respected by men if you gets caught up with flings and what not. In a sense, she will be squandering her power. Again, no one is saying that women can't be sexual creatures --just don't squander your power by sleeping with guys you have no connection with, that's all.
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Is it time to split the thread again?
Lesly, I dont think when people post to this thread it is a direct response to you. I do agree with others that the question has been answered and the answer is that IS a double standard after all - but that is life. Women should know better before posting silly 'does he love me' threads.
I would love for the end result of this thread is that everyone wont jump on the Sankie bandwagon when a FEMALE posts with questions about anything concerning a man. Lets find out the root of the problem before it gets out of hand - funny, but I bet that most will end up being about sankies! ;o)
On another note, we should talk about double standards, not only in DR, but all around the world. I feel that there is a double standard in every aspect of our lives ANYWHERE you live. As you may already know, Dominicans are raised with the frame of mind that a man can do things that a woman cannot - that is sexually (men are 'supposed to cheat' women just cant get caught), economically (meaning that she needs a man in her life to get ahead), and even socially (does not look good to be alone all the time because you MUST be on the prowl). If you go to DR and try to impose your 'very free-non-double-standards' ways from, lets say the US, you are seen as a loose skunk or a P**a de Nueva York - for a lack of a better word.
As a Dominican myself, I was brought up this way. I do believe that there are things that look worse upon a woman's image than if a man were to do them - publicly that is. This is society's training, but nonetheless it is the way we are brought up to think and act.
Lesly, I dont think when people post to this thread it is a direct response to you. I do agree with others that the question has been answered and the answer is that IS a double standard after all - but that is life. Women should know better before posting silly 'does he love me' threads.
I would love for the end result of this thread is that everyone wont jump on the Sankie bandwagon when a FEMALE posts with questions about anything concerning a man. Lets find out the root of the problem before it gets out of hand - funny, but I bet that most will end up being about sankies! ;o)
On another note, we should talk about double standards, not only in DR, but all around the world. I feel that there is a double standard in every aspect of our lives ANYWHERE you live. As you may already know, Dominicans are raised with the frame of mind that a man can do things that a woman cannot - that is sexually (men are 'supposed to cheat' women just cant get caught), economically (meaning that she needs a man in her life to get ahead), and even socially (does not look good to be alone all the time because you MUST be on the prowl). If you go to DR and try to impose your 'very free-non-double-standards' ways from, lets say the US, you are seen as a loose skunk or a P**a de Nueva York - for a lack of a better word.
As a Dominican myself, I was brought up this way. I do believe that there are things that look worse upon a woman's image than if a man were to do them - publicly that is. This is society's training, but nonetheless it is the way we are brought up to think and act.
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Talldrink,
I realize that many responses to my original question were provided, I read them and life goes on. But as you stated people have strayed from the main theme (which I don't care) but you will notice that I have refrained from responding because of it. I hear you loudly and clearly with regards to the "double standard", "la mujer dominicana y la percepci?n de ella" etc. and I agree with you certain things will never change unfortunately.
The sanky discussions, the postings from women seeking advice about the Dominican male they met on vacation and the bashing no doubt will continue. Even if a woman presents herself as clearly understanding what she's getting into or as the naive person, I think she will get an earful on the board. My only observation was the obvious difference in treatment and possibly "why". I am sure down the road this issue will be raised again when the bashing reaches it's highest high as it has over the past few months.
Bueno eso es todo lo que quiero decir...
and Anna whenever you are ready I say let's close the thread.The theme has been exhausted.
I realize that many responses to my original question were provided, I read them and life goes on. But as you stated people have strayed from the main theme (which I don't care) but you will notice that I have refrained from responding because of it. I hear you loudly and clearly with regards to the "double standard", "la mujer dominicana y la percepci?n de ella" etc. and I agree with you certain things will never change unfortunately.
The sanky discussions, the postings from women seeking advice about the Dominican male they met on vacation and the bashing no doubt will continue. Even if a woman presents herself as clearly understanding what she's getting into or as the naive person, I think she will get an earful on the board. My only observation was the obvious difference in treatment and possibly "why". I am sure down the road this issue will be raised again when the bashing reaches it's highest high as it has over the past few months.
Bueno eso es todo lo que quiero decir...
and Anna whenever you are ready I say let's close the thread.The theme has been exhausted.
Talldrink said:
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