Advice wanted -

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greydread

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Jan 3, 2007
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Bnuts,

You chose your handle well because you will definitely Bnuts if your life doesn't become less complicated with a quickness. You are an expecting Father. That puts you past the point of no return as far as commitment goes. There's nothing that anyone on any discussion forum can say to change that and in fact there's nothing that they can say to ensure that you will choose wisely as far as what level of commitment is appropriate for you current situation.

She's your Woman and we don't really know a thing about her, yet you think that any of us is qualified to judge her intentions toward you? The decision is all yours and no amount of external input will put you in any better position to make it. What do you see when you look into her eyes? What do you tender moments alone tell you? What does her sleeping body language reveal? Do the two of you dance for no reason?

Yours is a "gut" decision to make and you must make it alone. All this other complicated BS with the "prenup" and "belly bump in the pictures" and "custom of civil marriage folllowed by Church wedding" is smoke and it can never replace the fire of love which should be the driving factor in both your decisions and actions.

You too much mind!
 
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RacerX

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Nov 22, 2009
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bob saunders said:
Why don't you just ask her what her intentions are? Ask her why she wants to wait until after the child is born to get married in a civil wedding. Ask her what she's afraid of? She may actually be embarrased to be seen in a wedding picture with a big belly. It would seem to me that with the amount of distrust you have it would be hard to develop a healthy relationship with this girl. I'm not saying you have to have all your cards in the open but thinking that there's a hidden agenda behind everything she does is mentally unhealthy. Two different cultures at war here, and you'll both need to comprimise. Women of your own culture are hard enough to figure out, so perhaps trying to see where she coming from is difficult if not impossible if you don't ask the right questions.
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I agree with bob. Your post was something from daytime TV with Barbara Walters or Meredith Viera. Too many superfluous details for what should be a simple occurence in life. You meet a woman, you date the women, she gets pregnant, you get married, she has a baby, in whatever order you want, not my concern. But instead you have chapters and subchapters of what I consider nonsense. It s like a Ghost Relationship where the participants do and behave accordingly to what people outside the relationship say. You re reading some scientific formula for the perfect relationship and she is being wooed by the peanut gallery on 'Lets Make a Deal' as to which curtain to choose. You guys gotta go somewhere and work that shhhht out alone. You are adults aint you?
 
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BNuts

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Dec 14, 2010
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bob saunders said:
Why don't you just ask her what her intentions are? Ask her why she wants to wait until after the child is born to get married in a civil wedding. Ask her what she's afraid of? She may actually be embarrased to be seen in a wedding picture with a big belly. It would seem to me that with the amount of distrust you have it would be hard to develop a healthy relationship with this girl. I'm not saying you have to have all your cards in the open but thinking that there's a hidden agenda behind everything she does is mentally unhealthy. Two different cultures at war here, and you'll both need to comprimise. Women of your own culture are hard enough to figure out, so perhaps trying to see where she coming from is difficult if not impossible if you don't ask the right questions.
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Thanks Bob, this isn't my first rodeo. Hell man, you don't think I've flat out told the girl I have some issues with some things. You don't think I've asked to to explain. I have, for example, when I asked her about why she wanted a civil wedding in stead of a church wedding the answer was "That is how it is done here, everyone has a civil wedding first then a church wedding." Now I know that that is a ration of crap, can't find me one Dominican that will confirm this. It's my opinion that she wants to marry and divorce with house/money and move on with a steady paycheck for the next 18 years.
 
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