Canadian fooled

[murilka]

To the OP:
If the marriage has ended so should the sponsorship...
once the visa has been issued you will be financially responsible for him for 3 years, and if he goes on welfare see the math below:

approx. 600.00/month >>> 21600.00 for 3 years that you will have to repay to the government of Canada

 

[murilka]

Thank you for your comments but what do I do now. We are married, I have invested about $16,000.00, his immigration process is just about finish.....do I report him???

I am still dealing with the fact that I can't believe this is happening, I don't want it to be over, I was looking forward to him coming here and now I just don't know what I should be doing.

Please help.................

I fail to grasp what may have cost you 16000.00 in DR...?@#%? even including immigration processing fee... count your losses and RUN

 

[AnnaC]

My husband's application was approved in Canada on December 2, 2008 and forwarded to the Canadian VISA office in the DR on December 5, 2008........won't they contact me before processing his immigration papers?

Humm interesting most sponsors are approved first, where did you send in your application?

Your husbands application does not go to the DR

 

[Canadian Fooled]

canadian fooled

sorry i meant the my sponsorship application has been approved.............

 

[margaret]

You said it's close to the final decision? Maybe he's playing with you for that motoconcho. Of course, he could always leave it for his brother....

 

[margaret]

sorry i meant the my sponsorship application has been approved.............

In that case, you have plenty of time to think, do research. Who knows you could even get to know him ....:cheeky:
You can make a trip every month, bring him some regalos, make some remittances, get him a new phone, Ipod and I'm sure every thing will work out ... As mountainfrog used to say "everything will go the Caribbean way...." And if he ever comes to Toronto, maybe I'll meet him on his night out at El Rancho or Plaza. After all this young man who worked in "entertainment", probably knows how to dance... and as you know "age is just a number." Geez I hope you aren't the woman I heard about the other day... 52 with a 20 year old husband!

 

[AnnaC]

sorry i meant the my sponsorship application has been approved.............

anyway, he's far far away from being issued a visa and he'll more than likely have an interview and they will ask for more documents and proof of relationship and if you don't send anything in, his application will never get through but I wouldn't take that chance.

I have no idea where you got the idea that he is close to the final decision being made on his visa. Where did you get this info?

 

[Lambada]

AnnaC, you know the process on this. Where would it have cost her US$16,000 for the visa? Or does she mean by 'invested $16,000' that that is what she sent him to support him? Is that what it is Canadian Fooled? If you started supporting him 2 months after you met him (i.e. when he lost his job) that means $16,000 over 9 months viz. $1770 per month which is RD$61,950. Gracious, some managers don't make that - that's a really good salary here. Read the responses on this thread
http://www.dr1.com/forums/santo-domingo/81878-i-want-make-60-000-pesos-per-month-santo-domingo-have-any-suggestions.html

And your husband cut up funny when you put your foot down about the motorcycle and/or him going back to 'entertainment' to meet the next available group of donors? I'm afraid my dear you've been had big time. More than ever, ditch him and move on. Yes, you're vulnerable right now, that's ok. Just don't be stupid.

 

[margaret]

$16,000 is a little high but I've heard of $12,000 by the time the process is over. Trips, expense money in the country, long distance calls, cell phones, clothes, "social assistance", "unemployment payments", emergency medical coverage.

This notion of "investing" in people, buying love has to be examined. And I think it comes from a need to control situations and others... and comodification in relations between people. Whatever anyone wants to say about these guys and THEIR manipulation, there is manipulation and attempts to control on the other side as well. Personally, I think his brother (older and wiser) who has a gringa girlfriend is telling him that he can do better. Perhaps with a new one, who has another $16Gs to spend and is more than happy to prove how much she loves him and won't make him lose face in front of his family and friends. Better yet, she won't even be around to try to control him.

When someone says "help", I do what I can helping with a letter. But Canadianfooled has to take control of her own ability to think, decide and determine which road she will take.

 

[Canadian Fooled]

can

I didn't mean invest as "invested".........really i meant i did all this to help him and/or us as I believed and trusted him. I still do........I am the one that made the mistake by have a reaction and arguing with him so badly in front of his brother.

 

[simpson Homer]

The main problem is that this is the only thing he knows what to do and likes
I dont know the reason that you dont want him to keep working animation
but maybe is because he is dealing with so many people especially woman
all ages dancing, joking, playing and so many other reason. And to tell him not
to work in that field what he had done for who knows how long you might have
to take care of him. Is like him telling you to leave you job so would you ?


Im a Dominican living in Canada I worked in Hotel and Still do, Let me tell you that that manyof the guys that were in animation that I knew all or most of them travelled before to Italy, Germany, Swiss, Spain, France and many other countries I asked to a few of them why they didnt stay there living with their "Wife" the answer was always the same. they cant work animation in those countries and thats all the know what to do and never worked hard labour like factory or any other trade some of them make
more money in the Dominican than in Canada getting presents, tips and some times commisions and dont have to pay rent, transportation, meals.

If meet him working animation let it be or find him a job as easy as that one.

 

[m.met]

why take the risk?

Everytime someone asks for advise on this forum, I'm so sad because I know the original poster will read all the threads and then conclude like "I want to try".
Well, why are you reading all the suggestions and still wants to keep on move on this story. I know you invested a great sum of money, but this is nothing on what you could spend in the next years if you accept to sponsor him.
You can understand you are taking a risk called love that could be real just with a very low probability, since 99% of people who has stories with dominican have already experienced this.
I guess you are the 1% who has success, try to think if there are the basis on your relation to be this one.

met

 

[Arrica]

suspicion and jealousy

He was going to seek another entertainment job but I told him to seek something else as I didn't want him doing that.

hmmm... for me it sounds that you don't want him working in entertainment for fear that his exposure to other women would make him cheat on you, when you are far away in Canada.:ermm:

Sorry to be harsh, but since you likely don't trust him to stay faithful - and that appears to be what you would like (some accept non-monogamous relationships, but most North Americans don't) this doesn't sound like a good foundation for a lasting marriage - suspicion and jealousy is never a nice coctail; probably just as well that you cut the ties and move on.

 

[Lambada]

When someone says "help", I do what I can helping with a letter. But Canadianfooled has to take control of her own ability to think, decide and determine which road she will take.

Yes that was a very nice gesture on your part, margaret, but one wonders if it will get used. Looks like Canadian Fooled is now blaming herself..........

hmmm... for me it sounds that you don't want him working in entertainment for fear that his exposure to other women would make him cheat on you, when you are far away in Canada.:ermm:

A very realistic fear I would have thought, since most Dominican men who 'use' women do cheat. And to many the marriage doesn't have the same significance as it might to a foreigner - it is merely a procedure, not a lifelong statement of loyalty. The problem is, such men will probably cheat anyway and if they don't have exposure to gringas at hotels they will be having relationships with their Dominican girlfriends. So stopping him working in a hotel doesn't actually solve the problem.

 

[mike l]

The mirror is like a litmus test and should be judged accordingly!

When I look in the mirror I say wow..........I need to make more money $$$$

 

[Lapurr]

16 G.....wOw...you could have opened up shop in DR and lived happily ever after!
that should be your only regret..

 

[pkaide1]

The relationship between men and women here on this island (both sides) are so different that really, really, truely (madly deeply) there is not going to be ANY way for an American, or Canadian woman to adjust to a Dominican man unless she meets a lot of criteria --- such as -- speaking fluent Spanish, being raised and trained in a religion which really supports male patriarchal, dominance, having a deep tolerance for infidelity--- I am sorry to tell you all this...

For the foreign men, the women here are a blessed relief from the women that they have had to contend with at home. But as much as it is paradise for the men, it can be the opposite for the women.

And, alas, the men here also appear to be experts at courtship, at the Don Juan stuff, at opening up the hearts so that women are really at risk here.

In researching an article on Machismo here recently I came across a chilling statistic which is that this country ranks as 6th in the WORLD in "feminicide" which is a word that I could not even translate easily - since we don't have a comparable in English. It means women being murdered by their intimate partners.

And alas, to just seed this with ideas from another thread, the presence of all these evangelical Protestants preaching "the man is the head of the woman"--- not very helpful here.

Count your blessings.

I do not understand why you want to put all Dominicans in the same boat, when it comes to this problem. The guy who did that is nothing more than a parasite. Not all Dominicans are equal.
Have you seem a pattern in all these type of problems. Most of the time the guys and girls involved are hotel low class, with a very low education workers. In this type of post you never see I meet a Dominican Doctor, Engineer, Chemist, Professor, Teacher, Lawyer, or a successful businessman and we fell in loved.

Always, always it is a dump ass entertainment hotel worker. Why is not the accountant from the hotel, the manager, or the chef supervisor? Just difference perspective different view.

 

[Alyonka]

I do not understand why you want to put all Dominicans in the same boat, when it comes to this problem. The guy who did that is nothing more than a parasite. Not all Dominicans are equal.
Have you seem a pattern in all these type of problems. Most of the time the guys and girls involved are hotel low class, with a very low education workers. In this type of post you never see I meet a Dominican Doctor, Engineer, Chemist, Professor, Teacher, Lawyer, or a successful businessman and we fell in loved.

Always, always it is a dump ass entertainment hotel worker. Why is not the accountant from the hotel, the manager, or the chef supervisor? Just difference perspective different view.

There is no difference between low and high education/income men when it comes to women. They are all the same this way. Men with more money and better education can become more obnoxious and arrogant because their choice of women is wider. It is all about how well they are brought up and how much class their family has. Not just about money and education.

 

[sangria]

First of all, your application for your husband has only just begun and you have anywhere from 10-23 more months still to wait. The average processing time is now 12-24 months based on acknowledgement letters being received by those of us currently "In Process".

If you decide to cancel your sponsorship or your application is denied, you will only be refunded the Right of Permanent Residence fee - $490.00.

The application fees for yourself & your husband are not refunded if you withdraw after you have been approved.

Please remember that losing $490 is a lot less than having to pay for him for 3years.

Technically if you never speak to him again his visa can still be approved and he can come here on his own. Your part is finished now that you have been approved as a sponsor.

I dont think you would want to get a bill from the Canadian government for 3 years worth of welfare or unemployment insurance payouts....it would make the $490 seem like nothing.

I wouldn't cancel your sponsorship today...you do have a little time, but I would think long & hard whether this relationship has a future and definitely make the withdrawl official if your relationship is over...

I would suggest reading the visa forum to get an idea of what you are facing with immigration. There is lots of good info & supportive advice there.

Sangria

 

[bob saunders]

There is no difference between low and high education/income men when it comes to women. They are all the same this way. Men with more money and better education can become more obnoxious and arrogant because their choice of women is wider. It is all about how well they are brought up and how much class their family has. Not just about money and education.

Well said. Class has little to with education and even less to do with wealth.