Quote Originally Posted by messineymar2014
I am a straight shooter. Having to deal with so many deceptive people ,
has made my stay in the DR extremely stressful.
There are ex-pats such as Messineymar. They are upfront, honest, straight shooter types. They are used to deals being done square, looking right in the eye where you mean what you say and say what you mean. Unfortunately, such is not always the case within the DR. I see a dichotomy between ex-pats raised in the strong Calvinist work ethic typical of Anglo-Saxon cultures where hard work and honesty is the means to achieve versus our Spanish Catholic social structure where deception and subterfuge was and is the modus operandi.
This is not to say that every transaction between two in the DR involves this. It most certainly does not. But until you are sure of the other, you must dominicanize yourself. I would say Dominicans on average, not all or else the word pairguayo wouldn't exist, are psychologically light years ahead of ex-pats, tourists, foreign residents. I view the usual hokey pokey bloated belly Carnival cruise line tourist as prime meat for centuries of psychologically hardened Dominicans. It seems to be easy pickings for these vultures trained in carrion.
The greatest danger lies in relationships in which the female initially is actually interested or feigns interest to obtain a material advantage and/or business transactions involving money. Ex-pats have been on the losing side of these two transactions, exchanges. It has been as a result of being psychological neophytes in an environment where deception and subterfuge are the norm. The devastating emotional, psychological, economical toll on both Dominican and ex-pat alike is stratospheric and demands concrete answers to. What is to be done about it?
LESSON NUMBER-1
Allow me to Dominicanize you. At the point of intersection in an exchange between you and another, you must assume the other will try to deceive you. You must think quick. You corner them into an outcome out of which there are only two possible answers of which one is clearly the lie. The Dominican or dominicanized ex-pat will know you have cornered him/her into two possible outcomes and he/she also knows you know that one answer is clearly a lie. He/she has no choice but to tell you the truth. This skill takes time to hone but you can do it.
You assume that if there is a benefit that the Dominican, Dominican foreign resident or Dominicanized ex-pat can obtain from his exchange with you, he will certainly lie. Once again if the transaction represents any type of benefit to the other, you automatically assume subterfuge and deceit. It is at that point that you begin to craft your own deception within to counter his or hers. Don't rush into this. Take your time. The crafting of a well planned deception takes time. Remember you must protect your emotions and money always.
We'll get into more on this with concrete examples. As any skill, it takes time, experience and examples to learn. Trial and error always helps to set you on the right path. You can dominicanize yourself to survive in those waters. Don't feel this is a cumbersome process. In time you will enjoy getting the upper hand on the other and the other not expecting it. In time, the others will cease trying knowing you can corner them over and over again into truth and lie.