True, true, true. A lot of NA women do have hangups about sex and that's too bad. But you can't blame them. From the time we're born, we are constantly told that sex is dirty and that there is something shameful about our bodies. I hate to be redundant, but America is a puritanical society, even in this day and age.
But all the while we are hearing that we're "dirty", we see nothing but sex, sex, sex on TV, on magazine covers, in music videos, etc.
In North America, sex sells. Nobody can argue with that. But while sex is selling, the women who are actually having sex and enjoying it are labeled sluts, whores, hoes, you name it.
So what is a woman supposed to think? It all comes full circle in the end. As a woman, you are supposed to be a perfect Size 0, you are supposed to look like a model at all times and you're supposed to be beautiful. But God forbid that you actually let someone else reap the benefits. The second you do, you have the big Scarlet "S" tatooed on your chest.
Thank God I was not raised like so many women in NA. When I turned 14, my mom took me to the doc and made sure he put me on the pill. There was nothing I could not discuss with my parents. They had an open door policy and reminded me all the time that if I needed to talk, they were there.
And it's ironic - I didn't lose the big V until I was almost 20. All the mothers in my hometown who preached nothing but abstinence and "Sex is filthy!" are the ones who had daughters getting pregnant at age 16.
People in this country love sex. This is a very passionate culture and most of the Dominicans are overjoyed to partake in some between the sheets fun. Good for them! While I don't think it's healthy to have sex for reasons such as self validation, insecurity, etc, I could never judge anyone, man or woman, for having healthy sex. That is, after all, what are bodies were designed for.
Men are biologically wired to procreate and women are designed to attract men and in turn, ensure the continuation of the species. It's survival and we all have it genetically programmed into our brains.
There was a time when I used to say things like "Oh, that girl is a slut, she sleeps around" and "Look at that whore, OMG" and so on. In retrospect, it was just my own insecurities doing the talking. Now I'm older and know pretty damn well just who I am so all of those judgments have long since left me. But when I did have those hangups, I can almost guarantee you that I was probably really bad in bed because I was too worried about other things. How can you be a good lover if you're preoccupied with other things?
Dominican women don't seem to have hangups like their NA counterparts and I believe that's a big reason for their appeal to foreign men. But I do have to point out that some NA men are partly to blame because they are the ones doing the finger-pointing and name calling in a lot of instances.
If you don't give it up then you're a c#cktease and a bitch. But the second you do give it up then you're a slut.
It's another classic case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
So what's a girl to do? Simple - whatever feels right for you.
It's a shame that the greatest thing in the world is such a murky issue for so many NA women.
But not me - I'll be the first one to say that I think sex is wonderful and that by God I am going to enjoy every second of it, whenever I want, wherever I want and as often as I want.
Now go ahead - call me a slut.
