(long) story - need insight please!

[Potato_Salad]

You said it, bro!

Thanks sis! Have a nice weekend! :classic:

Oh by the way, would you like some dessert? Anyone else?

 

[amanacer]

oh no

oh no Potato Salad I just got back from the gym and that's the first thing I see? It is unfair...

 

[notion]

She takes a strangers money and books herself into a luxury hotel that he won't be able to even walk into the parking lot of because of the strict guards at the gate?

Maybe she's not aware of the high security and that he won't be able to see her there? Are guests not allowed to invite friends to the resort?

 

[carina]

Maybe she's not aware of the high security and that he won't be able to see her there? Are guests not allowed to invite friends to the resort?

Yes they can visit.
There is also day-passes for sale that gives the same services as a guest of the hotel has, ( exept the hotel room or stay overnight ).

 

[DRsherry]

A mothers perspective

I am a mother of a 28 year old daughter, and a 32 year old son. I have been travelling to the DR for almost 5 years now. I have seen and heard many things, but have to say this post from Suzie takes the cake.

I too am also Canadian. I must say that as a mother, and reading all of the posts here, for the last couple of years, the behaviours of young Canadian girls is something else!

I have read posts that have said maybe it's something in the water or whatever. As a Canadian I surley couldn't tell you what IT is. I do think maybe ONE of the problems is, that these girls think "oh it won't happen to me" they always think it will be someone else. THEY HAVE NO FEAR! And I don't know how you can instill some fear into them, so that they would tread more cautiously.

Just my 5 pesos worth!

 

[Potato_Salad]

oh no Potato Salad I just got back from the gym and that's the first thing I see? It is unfair...

I'm very very very Sorry.

 

[Potato_Salad]

I am a mother of a 28 year old daughter, and a 32 year old son. I have been travelling to the DR for almost 5 years now. I have seen and heard many things, but have to say this post from Suzie takes the cake.

I too am also Canadian. I must say that as a mother, and reading all of the posts here, for the last couple of years, the behaviours of young Canadian girls is something else!

I have read posts that have said maybe it's something in the water or whatever. As a Canadian I surley couldn't tell you what IT is. I do think maybe ONE of the problems is, that these girls think "oh it won't happen to me" they always think it will be someone else. THEY HAVE NO FEAR! And I don't know how you can instill some fear into them, so that they would tread more cautiously.

Just my 5 pesos worth!

Welcome to DR1! :classic:

I agree with you. These women have no fear. And these women have neither a brain nor common sense.

These women need to wake up from their fantasy world and come back to reality.

 

[notion]

Welcome to DR1! :classic:

I agree with you. These women have no fear. And these women have neither a brain nor common sense.

These women need to wake up from their fantasy world and come back to reality.

Yes, some do need to wake up. I'm still not sure whether Suzie is one of them. I've never been to an AI, especially not Gran Ventana, but I imagine it's pretty safe staying there, safer than staying with that bloke at his place.
And if he's allowed to visit her w/out problems I don't see why it's ever so selfish that she chose that resort, Charlielyn. After all she's paying the difference.

But a reply to DRsherry: it's not people Canadians, who fall for these men and women.
The people are from all over the world, US, Canada, England, Germany, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, ...
And many of the times the parents just watch it happening ("it's just a holiday flirt") and only start to panic when their daughter falls pregnant and wants to move to the DR.
And I don't think you can put that kind of behaviour solely down to fearlessness. I think they only don't want to miss out on an opportunity and find it an enticing thought to have a holiday romance for a long time, sometimes even for life.

This kind of thing is not only happening in the DR. in Turkey, MArroko, Egypt the same game is played. But many of those cheated women there are in their 40s or 50s. Just goes to show - fearlessness isn't an age thing.

 

[Potato_Salad]

Yes, some do need to wake up. I'm still not sure whether Suzie is one of them. I've never been to an AI, especially not Gran Ventana, but I imagine it's pretty safe staying there, safer than staying with that bloke at his place.
And if he's allowed to visit her w/out problems I don't see why it's ever so selfish that she chose that resort, Charlielyn. After all she's paying the difference.

But a reply to DRsherry: it's not people Canadians, who fall for these men and women.
The people are from all over the world, US, Canada, England, Germany, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, ...
And many of the times the parents just watch it happening ("it's just a holiday flirt") and only start to panic when their daughter falls pregnant and wants to move to the DR.
And I don't think you can put that kind of behaviour solely down to fearlessness. I think they only don't want to miss out on an opportunity and find it an enticing thought to have a holiday romance for a long time, sometimes even for life.

This kind of thing is not only happening in the DR. in Turkey, MArroko, Egypt the same game is played. But many of those cheated women there are in their 40s or 50s. Just goes to show - fearlessness isn't an age thing.

Interesting points. :classic:

I guess all men and women need to be careful and not fall for the "holiday flirt".

 

[DRsherry]

Yes, some do need to wake up. I'm still not sure whether Suzie is one of them. I've never been to an AI, especially not Gran Ventana, but I imagine it's pretty safe staying there, safer than staying with that bloke at his place.
And if he's allowed to visit her w/out problems I don't see why it's ever so selfish that she chose that resort, Charlielyn. After all she's paying the difference.

But a reply to DRsherry: it's not people Canadians, who fall for these men and women.
The people are from all over the world, US, Canada, England, Germany, France, Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, ...
And many of the times the parents just watch it happening ("it's just a holiday flirt") and only start to panic when their daughter falls pregnant and wants to move to the DR.
And I don't think you can put that kind of behaviour solely down to fearlessness. I think they only don't want to miss out on an opportunity and find it an enticing thought to have a holiday romance for a long time, sometimes even for life.

This kind of thing is not only happening in the DR. in Turkey, MArroko, Egypt the same game is played. But many of those cheated women there are in their 40s or 50s. Just goes to show - fearlessness isn't an age thing.

Notion-
I absolutley agree with your reply to my post. This whole con-artist thing is all over the world, happening in different countires. But this site is about the Dominican Republic. I was really only commenting on Canadian girls where I am Canadian, and alot of these girls who post are young Canadian girls.

Young girls live for the moment and be damned with the conquences of the relationships (until it falls apart)

As for the older women in their 40's 50's, well that's another story. I consider myself a pretty attractive women in that age bracket (so I've been told) and have been travelling to the DR for around 5 years. I have never been with a Dominican man, not that they aren't attractive. And I have a great time when I'm there, but I think the bottom line is........... I respect myself and I believe smart enough not to fall for the great lines they dish out. If you can look in the mirror in the morning and be happy with what you see, you have alot going for yourself. These women are lacking something in their lives. They are lonely and need attention, to give their ego's a boost in self esteem. These guys see that in their eyes, and play off of that. It's sad but true, but this will never go away as long as there are young lonley girls/women who don't think before they leap, and also lacking confidence, and self-esteem.

Thank you Potato Salad for welcoming me to the board!:classic:

 

[Erin24]

i don't totally agree

Drsherry

I do not think all of these girls are lonely. Maybe some just like to live life on the edge. If they get caught up with a Sankie, then that is too bad for them. Does not mean they are all lonely. All people know of these girls is what they post on this forum, you don't know them in person, this may be out of character for them. You can't just assume who or what they are based on a post. But some do have these issues and it is sad.

 

[DRsherry]

Drsherry

I do not think all of these girls are lonely. Maybe some just like to live life on the edge. If they get caught up with a Sankie, then that is too bad for them. Does not mean they are all lonely. All people know of these girls is what they post on this forum, you don't know them in person, this may be out of character for them. You can't just assume who or what they are based on a post. But some do have these issues and it is sad.

Erin-
I didn't mean to imply they were ALL lonely. I'm saying that young girls leap before thinking. And yes live on the edge, you're right(which is scary :surprised)

I was referring to the older women being lonley and need the self confidence boost, for whatever reason.

I do not know these girls/women, you are right. But when people post something as personal as their relationship on an open forum, such as this, aren't you setting yourself up for someones opinion of you... EVEN though they don't know you?

People write about a certain part of themselves, sometimes personal, but we are not getting the whole picutre you are right. It could be the first time, and something they have never done before. However, most of these posts are similiar and it certainly sounds like a behavioural problem to me. I am in no way a psycologist, and nor do I want to be , but when they post about relationships, to complete strangers, they are opening themselves up to almost anything, that they may get back as a response.

Just my opinion!

 

[carina]

Of course the girls are living for the moment, it?s an adventure, and it?s a VACATION state of mind that they stay in.
Full of externally imposed excitements, that they mix for being reality...
may it be palm trees, happy smiles, a carefree life, attraction misplaced for love, attention...it does not matter.
But these things are not lasting, and the wake-up call is usually a hard one.

 

[Erin24]

re

Hey,

i guess i took what you were saying differently, I hope you don't think i was lashing out at you, because I do agree with what you both are saying. I guess i look at the Idea of what these girls are doing as fun. But the sad reality is that alot of the stories are bad, and not so fun.

 

[Potato_Salad]

Notion-
I absolutley agree with your reply to my post. This whole con-artist thing is all over the world, happening in different countires. But this site is about the Dominican Republic. I was really only commenting on Canadian girls where I am Canadian, and alot of these girls who post are young Canadian girls.

Young girls live for the moment and be damned with the conquences of the relationships (until it falls apart)

As for the older women in their 40's 50's, well that's another story. I consider myself a pretty attractive women in that age bracket (so I've been told) and have been travelling to the DR for around 5 years. I have never been with a Dominican man, not that they aren't attractive. And I have a great time when I'm there, but I think the bottom line is........... I respect myself and I believe smart enough not to fall for the great lines they dish out. If you can look in the mirror in the morning and be happy with what you see, you have alot going for yourself. These women are lacking something in their lives. They are lonely and need attention, to give their ego's a boost in self esteem. These guys see that in their eyes, and play off of that. It's sad but true, but this will never go away as long as there are young lonley girls/women who don't think before they leap, and also lacking confidence, and self-esteem.

Thank you Potato Salad for welcoming me to the board!:classic:

You are very welcome and I agree with your post!!! :classic:

These women who fall for these sankies want attention and an ego-boost. And the sankies can see that in their eyes. So sad.

 

[notion]

Are you sure? About that seeing-it-their-eyes-thing? Don't they just try it on with everybody?

I'm also not so sure whether it's all about low self-esteem. Maybe it is also partly down to naivity and the need/wish for romance in one's life.
You don't need to be lonely to thrive on that kind of attention that a sankie pays his victims.

And also - if you're very self-confident, wouldn't it be logical that you, too, believe a sankie's word? Because of course your the most beautiful woman on earth and he wants to marry you, who wouldn't!?

Do you see what I mean?

I think there are a million and one reasons why women fall for sweet-talk. You cannot judge their character or private situation by their falling for a sankie.

Just my 2 cents as Potato Salad would say!

 

[JHT]

Suzie,

I hope this guy is for real and is really attracted to you and not for ulterior motives. Just take it slow and if he is really interested he will be willing to wait for sex. If you give it up as soon as you arrived because he sent a thousand canadien dollars then he will have less respect for you. Let him know that you are a woman of morals and cannot be bought. Don't compromise your beliefs and morals for a lousy $1000. If he cannot understand that argument then he does have ulterior motives.

Sure give him a few kisses, hug, hold hands, talk cuddle but leave it at that and see how he responds. Take it slow. Remember long distance romances can be tough but it can be worked out if both are serious about the relationship.

From personal experience, I went to the Azores (9 portuguese islands in the middle of the Atlantic) when I was 19. There I met what I think would be the equivalent of an Army Drill Sargeant in the Portuguese Army. A year later he was here in the USA and now we have been together for 26 glorious years. I had alot to learn. I had to learn to read, write and speak portuguese, learn their customs, how to cook the portuguese way, and so much more. But I did it because I knew it was real. It can happen, you just have to be a good judge of character.

I wish you luck. Please let us know (or PM me if you like). I hope you find what your looking for. I did.

 

[stormer]

Are you sure? About that seeing-it-their-eyes-thing? Don't they just try it on with everybody?

I'm also not so sure whether it's all about low self-esteem. Maybe it is also partly down to naivity and the need/wish for romance in one's life.
You don't need to be lonely to thrive on that kind of attention that a sankie pays his victims.

And also - if you're very self-confident, wouldn't it be logical that you, too, believe a sankie's word? Because of course your the most beautiful woman on earth and he wants to marry you, who wouldn't!?

Do you see what I mean?

I think there are a million and one reasons why women fall for sweet-talk. You cannot judge their character or private situation by their falling for a sankie.

Just my 2 cents as Potato Salad would say!

Very good points made, Notion.

 

[Suzie]

Just to respond to a few posts:

I have not gone yet and will not for another couple of weeks.

You are right, I did make my decision before posting. I thought I made note of that in my first post but I guess it wasn?t clear. To be honest, I wasn?t going to post until I read someone saying how the forum was getting boring because there are no new sankie posts. Then I figured it can only do me some good to get more opinions on my own situation, and who better to play devil?s advocate than you guys? My intention was not to have my mind changed, but to have some perspectives that I may be missing so that when I am down there I will be prepared.

So I am sorry if I am a disappointment by going through with this, but please don?t think that your responses are going to waste because I got the point. He?s not sincere, and he?s out to scam me for my money, my heart, and a visa. If you guys are so insistent on this, than it most likely is the case, and it has me on my guard more than ever. But if you are wondering why I am not changing my mind, it?s because I already made it. You guys may know Dominicans, but the people in my life know me, and if they think that I am capable of handling things, than no stranger is going to sway my decision?I turned to you guys so you could help me mentally prepare. If you think I?m wasting your time by posting on here and not taking your advice by cancelling, than please tell me and I won?t post anymore.

As for being selfish, he is fully aware that I?m staying in the Playa Dorada complex. I did throw the word opportunistic in one of my posts, but I don?t think I?m selfish.

And for those who are truly concerned ? thank you.

 

[cocacola33]

Good Luck

I honestly hope that he is one of the decent dominicans and this works out for you. Best of luck and post when you return to let us know how u got on! x