Very difficult sitiation, no doubt
I have been reading all the posts about sankies, women scorned by sankies, men trying to come to DR and find their woman of quality, etc, and thought I would put in my three cents, particularly about women who come to DR and end up being used/abused. I think that both men and women who come to vacation in DR or places like this (tropical, sunny, etc.) have this fantasy of how wonderful life must be in these countries. The men are cuter, the women sexier, the people friendlier, because its DR! Its sunny and hot and you're surrounded by crystal blue water and you are there sipping on presidents and learning to dance merengue and if this is the type of life everyone leads here, then its just paradise. I have been living in DR for over 5 years now, and one thing I have noticed is that if all you do is go to resotrs and other touristy places, it is so easy to romanticize DR in that way. The big difference however, is the way that men and women handle this fantasy. On many levels, women are more intelligent than men (now no one needs to get offended over this, I am not saying men are stupid at all) but what does us in just about everytime is our emotions. Men can come to DR and have fun, and know that its just that, fun. Women who come here often get caught in the "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" fantasy and hope to fly back home with the hot Carribbean man of their dreams.
A few months ago, I had a friend who came to visit. She was immediately impressed by the men, when all i could see was the norm of what you would see anywhere (good looking ones, ugly ones, old ones, young ones, smart ones, dumb ones, etc.) We went to Boca Chica one day and she comes back to our lounge chairs with these two "hunks" (in her eyes). I took one look at them and knew what was up: two tigres not about anything hoping to score (either sexually or financially). They even knew a few words of English, which impressed my friend, who was eager to talk to real locals. When they invited me to go into the water, I politely declined, but my friend went with them and I could see her way out there, chatting away and having a merry old time flanked by these two guys giving her 200% attention. When she came back, she wondered why i was being distant with the guys, and I told her, listen, I have been living here a few years and I could tell who is worth talking to and who is not." I asked her if she asked what they did and she said no. When they came back, I asked the guys what they did, and it turns out that they sold water in Zona Colonial. Now I asked my friend, "Back in the States, would you talk to someone like that, no, so why are you going to come and do that here?" Before we left, we stopped at a colmado where we saw the two guys again. They barely acknowledged us which did not surprise me since they had ascertained they weren't getting anything from us, and wen went on our way home. If I had not been there to school my friend, she could have ended up sleeping with one of these guys and getting caught up in the sankie fever. All of us want to have that wild fantasy come true, you go on vacation to some exotic place and meet a sexy man whom you sweep into your suitcase and take home with you. But what women don't realize is that these men don't operate in a vacuum. They don't practice those smooth lines by standing in front of a mirror. Like those men we met at Boca Chica, it doesn't take anything away from them to shower you with attention because the potential benefits far outweigh their investment (because really, they are not investing much in you, while you on the other hand are investing emotions, time, energy, maybe even money on them). If t doesn't work with you, well it will work on someone else, EVENTUALLY and they have nothing to lose. So as women, we need to stop being so vulnerable, because its a game that is being played.
Also, to deal with the typical, raw, Latino/Carribbean male ( someone unexposed to modern ways of interacting with the opposite sex, who knows nothing other than the machista culture he was raised in), you need to have cojones, you really do. The men in Europe and the States are most often completely different from the men here, but women come with their Western world ideologies, thinking that they can apply it to these men, and that they will magically comply with it. As women, we have that need to nurture, and help men out, and if there is one basic thing that Latin men know, its the vulnerabilities of women. Actually, its not Latin men only, I think its any man who considers himself a player; he learns about women's weaknesses, what we want and play on that.
In all fairness to the men and women in DR however, I cannot blame. For tourists that do venture outside of the resorts to visit the cities and towns of this country, life is ROUGH. That is when you see how lucky we are as foreigners, because if I were in their shoes, I would be trying to market myself as well to see if I could get lucky and get the hell out of here, too. So as long as a product finds a buyer......
I hate it though when I read these stories of women being taken advantage of by men here, but my advice is this: Whatever you would or woruln't do in your own country, apply those same principles when you are on vacation. And if you see a guy on the beach selling ice cream, or even working as a wiater in a resort, its not like in the States. He isn't putting himself through school and doin this on the side. he is what he is, a man stuggling to make a living in a developing country, who will take WHATEVER lucky break he find faster than you can say New York. Sorry for the long post, but like I said, this was my 3 cents worth!!
