Although the Dominican Lifestyle/Culture is different, i honestly dont think the dating aspect is much different than any other society(except they give it up really fast). How you start is how you must finish. Meaning if you start showering a woman with money and gifts from the gate, then you have to keep it up for the duration.....sorry but thats the way it goes, especially in a country where they don't have anything. Comedian Chris Rock said it best....."A man can not go backwards sexually, and a Woman can not go backwards in Lifestyle." Better keep the Chanel perfume coming!
- Thread starter imfromda305
- Start date
Soy taca?o?
Exactly. So under no circumstances go overboard in money and gifts because you are just setting the bar high; occasional 500 for salon and some taxi money works just fine, after all you are already paying for restaurants and entertainment. Push back on money requests or just ignore them, and move on if the message isn't getting through.
OP, IMHO you need to learn 3 words, ayuda, and no puedo. I've lived here 6 yrs. and was lucky at the beginning that I met a 20 yr veteran of the DR who explained how things are done here. As others have said B4, you?re the gringo novio, and you?re going to pay to be with a Dominican chica, one way or another. Especially when you consider that you may have a novia less than 1/2 your age, as well as the economical environment she lives in. The ayuda can be very simple, and must at all times be controlled by you. Your giving what you want and when, and only for help to buy whatever, never for a particular cost, ie salon, clothes, etc. Now the trick with this is how often you help her out, and the amount. You go high and often, and then you better be prepared to keep it up. You paying for drinks, food, living with you, and entertainment are not ayuda. When you consider that even Dominican?s help their novias in many different ways, why should anyone that comes here to live think that gringos should not. The other issue with some gringos is that they equate the cost to helping with how much they?re paying for sex, and or the issue that I would never be asked to pay this back home with my novia. Well you?re not in Kansas anymore. So if you enjoy the relationship you have with her, than help on your own terms. When not possible, then the no puedo is used if she asks for some amount that you have an issue with. If you help before then you should in most cases not have to deal with this. The situation with me at the beginning of a relationship is one single thought for her; don?t have any expectations that I?m going to pay for things you ask for, that way you?re not going to have any disappointment when I say; no puedo. I've had 3 great novias in 6 yrs. and given the ayuda that I control, never once in all these yrs did I ever get asked for a family health issue, salon, need a new bike, etc..
However I was asked by one; how much did I spend playing all this golf here in the DR? I knew where she was going with this question and told her it was free as I had already paid upfront by working some 30 plus yrs.
However I was asked by one; how much did I spend playing all this golf here in the DR? I knew where she was going with this question and told her it was free as I had already paid upfront by working some 30 plus yrs.You may notice all the replies are going in a certain direction and it is not 'completely' down to generalization of 'all' Dominican women, it is the kind of women you are surrounding yourself with. By your own admission you are going to visit a woman in a 'not so nice' barrio that you aren't sure of the name, where word on the street is that you are tacano (I'm confused why you even contemplate this if your girl is calling you this) and your riding around on the back of PN motorbikes, and you see nothing wrong with this until your girl wants some money for the salon:nervous:.
You're describing a typical environment where men prioritize a presidente to pampers, or a Brugal to baby food for their own kids, so you aint got much competition really. Women survive on what they have to offer, and it seems right now you are the mark for this specific girl.
You either have to accept it and pay for it (which is great) or up your game, stop hanging out in nasty barrios where people are talking about you and the PN have made a note of you (not so good).
But this situation isn't down to the girl, it is down to you, she won't dispose of you, as she'd need to spread herself further if relying on Dominican men.
You draw the line where you see fit. It is normal for you to pay her way when you go out, no matter what social circle or class you revolve around, but if you are going to revolve in these kinds of environments expect to pay out when she does. Unless it is cash in her hand she won't register you have done anything for her, even if you went out and spent RD7,000 on a night out for the both of you, it doesn't register as cash and so you have done nothing for her. If you are going to continue with this kind of relationship and this social class of people then you will save money by just making sure she always has a bit of money in her pocket. Make a mental mark and cut your cloth to fit. If you don't want to pay more then don't see her as much.
If however you want to enter into a social circle where money is not the be all on the cards then you need to upgrade your game and social circles from what you are bothering with right now. But if you up your social status to looking for an 'employed independent women' then there is obviously the big chance you will be rejected and not up to scratch for her.
We've all done it, it is a passage or gauntlet of the DR for foreign men. You can even have it both ways, but I wouldn't advise it. Dominican women can be pretty ruthless if you leave them, and they know another woman is involved, not for your sakes, purely hers.
You're describing a typical environment where men prioritize a presidente to pampers, or a Brugal to baby food for their own kids, so you aint got much competition really. Women survive on what they have to offer, and it seems right now you are the mark for this specific girl.
You either have to accept it and pay for it (which is great) or up your game, stop hanging out in nasty barrios where people are talking about you and the PN have made a note of you (not so good).
But this situation isn't down to the girl, it is down to you, she won't dispose of you, as she'd need to spread herself further if relying on Dominican men.
You draw the line where you see fit. It is normal for you to pay her way when you go out, no matter what social circle or class you revolve around, but if you are going to revolve in these kinds of environments expect to pay out when she does. Unless it is cash in her hand she won't register you have done anything for her, even if you went out and spent RD7,000 on a night out for the both of you, it doesn't register as cash and so you have done nothing for her. If you are going to continue with this kind of relationship and this social class of people then you will save money by just making sure she always has a bit of money in her pocket. Make a mental mark and cut your cloth to fit. If you don't want to pay more then don't see her as much.
If however you want to enter into a social circle where money is not the be all on the cards then you need to upgrade your game and social circles from what you are bothering with right now. But if you up your social status to looking for an 'employed independent women' then there is obviously the big chance you will be rejected and not up to scratch for her.
We've all done it, it is a passage or gauntlet of the DR for foreign men. You can even have it both ways, but I wouldn't advise it. Dominican women can be pretty ruthless if you leave them, and they know another woman is involved, not for your sakes, purely hers.
Coose Your Devil
gre:
Wow, she is good!
She now has you believing that you bought Ropa because YOU wanted to. :classic:
Now let's get serious!
Devil #1 She is a "Western" Devil.
Well educated, independent, with a sense of entitlement.She is CEO of Megacorp.
She wears a cream coloured Chanel dress which hints at her perfect figure.
Her long blond hair flows in the wind and is held back by a head band as she drives the white convertible Porsche.
On the passenger seat sits a white Bichon Frise.
You have prepared dinner but she is late because of a board meeting.
As she enters, you serve a Martini and dinner.
You are trying to watch the Hockey/Football game, as she keeps talking about the Chinese merger.
She now has a tension headache and will retire.
After clearing the table you surf the net and give yourself a hand.
Total cost: Life is no fun, but you are working for your pension plan and hope to retire in the DR where men are men and women are women :lick:.
Devil #2 DR Novia in a red dress ......(not a pro) as you're looking for real love and don't want to pay for it.
You are both in a great mood on Sosua Beach.
You buy her a Cuba Libre 70 and drink a Presidente Grande 100.
Felicia gives you a sweet smile while she serves and shakes her butt as she walks away.
Panty man comes by and you let her choose one pair for a 100 ..... good for both of you!
On the way bak you stop at the Haitian Salon and strike a deal, Hair and Nails for 1000.
It'll take one hour if they work fast, so you go to the back and have a massage 500.
No, after one hour she is not ready so you go across the street for a beer 70, however you feel very relaxed (must be the massage)..... no worries.
She is ready, looks like an angel in a red dress and she is very happy.
You invite her for a Comida Dominicana, Jugo de Chinola, you have a burger with fries and a beer 500 .
Tips for the day 230.
Now you walk home and make passionate love. Total cost 2570- $64.25
Devil #3 Tight shorts/T-shirt chancletas killer figure - Pro on Pedro C
Choose your time frame 2Hrs.- toda la noche ???
You feel cheap ? No hair, nails, baby sitters or responsibilities. Total cost 1000-3000
Devil #4 Diabolo Taca?o (You)
You tell your novia to buy a fresh chicken.
When she comes home you tell her to cook it with rice and beans.
While it is cooking you give her the mop to clean up.
After dinner you direct her to the bedroom where you will dance the bachata with her, including moves she's never seen before.
Now you are ready to snooze, but just before drifting off tell her to clean the kitchen.
Your novia is now totally in love with you because you are a real tigre enamorado.
Total cost O
Now it's time to choose your devil !!!
COMO TU QUIERES MI AMOR :laugh:
gre:
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THEIR SMILE WHEN I BOUGHT THEM A NEW ROPA! -And that I love doing, not because I was forced to but I felt like doing it.
Wow, she is good!
She now has you believing that you bought Ropa because YOU wanted to. :classic:
Now let's get serious!
Devil #1 She is a "Western" Devil.
Well educated, independent, with a sense of entitlement.She is CEO of Megacorp.
She wears a cream coloured Chanel dress which hints at her perfect figure.
Her long blond hair flows in the wind and is held back by a head band as she drives the white convertible Porsche.
On the passenger seat sits a white Bichon Frise.
You have prepared dinner but she is late because of a board meeting.
As she enters, you serve a Martini and dinner.
You are trying to watch the Hockey/Football game, as she keeps talking about the Chinese merger.
She now has a tension headache and will retire.
After clearing the table you surf the net and give yourself a hand.
Total cost: Life is no fun, but you are working for your pension plan and hope to retire in the DR where men are men
and women are women :lick:.Devil #2 DR Novia in a red dress ......(not a pro) as you're looking for real love and don't want to pay for it.
You are both in a great mood on Sosua Beach.
You buy her a Cuba Libre 70 and drink a Presidente Grande 100.
Felicia gives you a sweet smile while she serves and shakes her butt as she walks away.
Panty man comes by and you let her choose one pair for a 100 ..... good for both of you!
On the way bak you stop at the Haitian Salon and strike a deal, Hair and Nails for 1000.
It'll take one hour if they work fast, so you go to the back and have a massage 500.
No, after one hour she is not ready so you go across the street for a beer 70, however you feel very relaxed (must be the massage)..... no worries.
She is ready, looks like an angel in a red dress and she is very happy.
You invite her for a Comida Dominicana, Jugo de Chinola, you have a burger with fries and a beer 500 .
Tips for the day 230.
Now you walk home and make passionate love. Total cost 2570- $64.25
Devil #3 Tight shorts/T-shirt chancletas killer figure - Pro on Pedro C
Choose your time frame 2Hrs.- toda la noche ???
You feel cheap ? No hair, nails, baby sitters or responsibilities. Total cost 1000-3000
Devil #4 Diabolo Taca?o (You)
You tell your novia to buy a fresh chicken.
When she comes home you tell her to cook it with rice and beans.
While it is cooking you give her the mop to clean up.
After dinner you direct her to the bedroom where you will dance the bachata with her, including moves she's never seen before.
Now you are ready to snooze, but just before drifting off tell her to clean the kitchen.
Your novia is now totally in love with you because you are a real tigre enamorado.
Total cost O
Now it's time to choose your devil !!!
COMO TU QUIERES MI AMOR :laugh:
The mods may as well close the thread because Giveadog has summed it up. Next: a gringa wondering why she doesn't get intellectual conversation from her sankie.
This one had tears in my eyes from laughing.. yo, y'all bout to see Dominicano mata Hollanda real soon if what your saying is true in my case.
That means my girls are 13 and less.. in no way is that called funny but damn!
To givadogahome; You're more than right about the barrio situation, I've been to "the other side of the bridge".. I live on the right side of the bridge but even here I co to barrios which are nothing but nice. The people I deal with my bedroom in most of the cases are bigger than their houses.
Basically I rely on one dude only, and other than him I have like 2 other male people I can call "mate" but that's about it. I've been to the better side of Santo Domingo if you can call the Blue Mall and Bella Vista Mall better sides.
I don't go there to often so socializing there isn't happening and my Spanish won't get me far too..
So yes, it's true.. I can't front on that one.
Basically I rely on one dude only, and other than him I have like 2 other male people I can call "mate" but that's about it. I've been to the better side of Santo Domingo if you can call the Blue Mall and Bella Vista Mall better sides.
I don't go there to often so socializing there isn't happening and my Spanish won't get me far too..
So yes, it's true.. I can't front on that one.
OP, I know you are looking for a non Dominican opinion, but I would like to point out a couple of things:
Women should always be treated like ladies; yes, even the so called ho! If a man gives a woman his attention, he should treat that woman with respect. You are not compelled to pay attention to anyone..
You have the freedom to choose the type of women with which you want to spend time.
Once you feel you are with the right woman, spend whatever necessary while the two of you are having fun, but up to the point that it doen't bother you.
I wouldn't feel confortable getting involved in her family's finances to the point of solving those financials problems.
I Wouldn't, however, buying her nice things to wear for our outings; paying for women things to look pretty for me.
Name a woman who wouldn't want to be taken care of or pampered. Those are petty stuff.
Who will be enjoying that lovely dress that you bought for her.. Most importantly, who will be removing that lovely dress at the end of the night when its time to get busy.. not me, my wife will kill me..
This is why is very important to choose wisely and feel comfortable within your own skin after taking the leap of faith.
There is nothing unmanly about providing for your woman. Hence, "your woman".
Finally, I hope this is not your case, but if she is younger by noticeable years. You have no choice but to pay. That is just the way it is.. Unless, of course, you got game. Very few of us are Alpha males; I hope you are one!
Women should always be treated like ladies; yes, even the so called ho! If a man gives a woman his attention, he should treat that woman with respect. You are not compelled to pay attention to anyone..
You have the freedom to choose the type of women with which you want to spend time.
Once you feel you are with the right woman, spend whatever necessary while the two of you are having fun, but up to the point that it doen't bother you.
I wouldn't feel confortable getting involved in her family's finances to the point of solving those financials problems.
I Wouldn't, however, buying her nice things to wear for our outings; paying for women things to look pretty for me.
Name a woman who wouldn't want to be taken care of or pampered. Those are petty stuff.
Who will be enjoying that lovely dress that you bought for her.. Most importantly, who will be removing that lovely dress at the end of the night when its time to get busy.. not me, my wife will kill me..
This is why is very important to choose wisely and feel comfortable within your own skin after taking the leap of faith.
There is nothing unmanly about providing for your woman. Hence, "your woman".
Finally, I hope this is not your case, but if she is younger by noticeable years. You have no choice but to pay.
That is just the way it is.. Unless, of course, you got game. Very few of us are Alpha males; I hope you are one!
Depends on the girl. Some of the girls I know in Jarabacoa love getting flowers, being serenaded...etc. They like to be romanced. These are girls from stable families and good upbringing though. My wife would never ask me for money for anything for herself- why would she , she's got her own money. She prefers doing her own hair because she's taca?a.
Finally, I hope this is not your case, but if she is younger by noticeable years. You have no choice but to pay.
I'm not some 50+ old white dude who took a flight to Santo Domingo because his chances in mainland are over so he tries to relives his youth be going after girls who could be his daughter.
I'm only 26, and nah.. my game is terrible. Whuahahaha, I mean.. it doesn't help if after most things she's saying I have to say que!?!?
But then again, the ladies I'm referring to in this topic.. I've all let them know the type of person I am and all are down for the ride. But it was just the begin of the ride that made me wanna start this topic.
By the way, paying salon for your real girlfriend / wifey.. I do that in a heartbeat. But we're just talking about dating material, no wifey material.
I would do it even if I was only dating the woman... Are you having fun? Is she going to show off all that stuff to you?
Dating is only the begining of possible long relationship. Dude, you should know.
If she is making it worth while for you, why not splurge a little and have tons of fun together.
I wouldn't go backrupt for a woman, but I wouldn't mind spending disposable income WITH whom I am having a great time.
What is money for, but to enjoy life!
Couldn't have said it better myself!
The sad part is, 90% of the guys that post on here have no idea what Givadogahome is going on about.
well, if you wanna have a nice warm mink over your precious spike you gotta pay, one way or the other. enjoy those brief moments when you pay for the salon, nails and sick aunts because it ain't nothing in comparison to whatta gonna pay if you put a ring on it. ever. be it poor puta or, worse even, a rich church goer. be it dominican or american.
a salon? do you know how much is a car (i want it pink, white leather seats, and a good radio)? or a house (decent, good area, close to the park so the childer can play, and close to good schools, and the proximity of shopping, and close enough to my mum...)? do you know how much it costs to raise a brat (i want four, just like my mum and my sister and tia mercedes) to an age when you can kick it out of the house without legal problems?
stfu and pay up, man. be happy it's so little. and dress up the spike before things get steamy because a can of formula costs as much as the salon. and only lasts two days.
a salon? do you know how much is a car (i want it pink, white leather seats, and a good radio)? or a house (decent, good area, close to the park so the childer can play, and close to good schools, and the proximity of shopping, and close enough to my mum...)? do you know how much it costs to raise a brat (i want four, just like my mum and my sister and tia mercedes) to an age when you can kick it out of the house without legal problems?
stfu and pay up, man. be happy it's so little. and dress up the spike before things get steamy because a can of formula costs as much as the salon. and only lasts two days.
There is another way to look at this.
This barrio girl's (or any other Dominicana's) behavior is no different than others of her kind all over the world.
Change the scenery to some slick bar/night club anywhere......
A guy shows up - flashy car, tips the valet, strolls in - clearly with a wad of cash.
Watch the women that gravitate to that dude... not the right kind ( as GiveDog points out) but enough to disturb the balance of the evening.
Poor fellows like uninformed here are left in the dust and curse guys like that, most likely.
Less women to hustle after this arrival.
Back to our barrio.......... uninformed is that guy here.
Swaggering, wealthy - the most sought after guy in the barrio.
What's different about that? Nothing.
Smaller fish, smaller pond.......... same reaction and result.
Not used to the feeling, he jealously protects his small fortune from the vultures.
Just a thought..............
This barrio girl's (or any other Dominicana's) behavior is no different than others of her kind all over the world.
Change the scenery to some slick bar/night club anywhere......
A guy shows up - flashy car, tips the valet, strolls in - clearly with a wad of cash.
Watch the women that gravitate to that dude... not the right kind ( as GiveDog points out) but enough to disturb the balance of the evening.
Poor fellows like uninformed here are left in the dust and curse guys like that, most likely.
Less women to hustle after this arrival.
Back to our barrio.......... uninformed is that guy here.
Swaggering, wealthy - the most sought after guy in the barrio.
What's different about that? Nothing.
Smaller fish, smaller pond.......... same reaction and result.
Not used to the feeling, he jealously protects his small fortune from the vultures.
Just a thought..............
My God Man, you`re a young buck, and Im assuming that you don`t look like a Troll, so I ask myself why are you allowing yourself to get into these situations?? I totally agree that you should not be paying extras, i.e. hair nails, etc. Yes, only dating, and like so many others have said...........give an inch......take a mile. I think that would even apply to a lot of other relationships no matter what country. Like another said, if you were to stop paying the `extras`you would soon find out how much your chica was interested in you, and you without your $$$
Nice to hear that you are the kind of guy who would be quite willing to pay hair and nails for that special someone in your life. Be honest with yourself, you will know the difference, actually you already do, soooooooooooo.......
Good Luck to you my friend
But then again, the ladies I'm referring to in this topic.. I've all let them know the type of person I am and all are down for the ride. But it was just the begin of the ride that made me wanna start this topic.
You've been there!?!? I threw it back at them when telling them they're taca?a for expecting me to pay for things ANY REGULAR CHICK can do.
NOW THAT WAS FUNNY TO WATCH! - Lol, they never saw that one coming.